He was afraid to meet Hevelia.
Even in the afterlife, he didn't wish to see her.
The guilt that was slowly devouring his soul, it was unbearable for Brahm.
He had endured life-threatening wounds, coming out stronger after. There was even a time when he roamed a war battlefield with a sword pierced on his abdomen. He had gone through endless nights without sleep, only to do his work as the Prime Minister.
Such meager hardships were his usual.
Be that as it may, he could never imagine himself gathering the courage to face Hevelia and Ilya.
He would rather walk around the capital with daggers on his neck. He would rather suffer from an incurable disease that would lead to his death sooner than expected.
In the first place, the extent of misery he was feeling was one that Brahm hadn't felt before.
He should've felt the guilt, considering that he knew that Ilya was being abused. But he didn nothing.
