HARLOW COULDN'T HELP BUT PLAY WITH HER FINGERS, scratching at them within her lap, anything to drive away the nervousness she felt in this moment. "Have I done something?" She asked anxiously.
Everything about this situation was not ideal for her, being called into the headmistress office always meant you did something wrong but it was only her second day here, she can't recalling doing anything out of line. At least she didn't think so?
All she wanted was a normal, stress-free day. That's all she asked for, it defiantly wasn't a lot.
The headmistress entangles her hands together, laying them on her desk as she leaned into them. Her back straightened in front of her. A composed look emitted, her seriousness that was ladened behind her eyes, that seemed to hold a secret Harlow didn't know. If it wasn't for the hectic whirling anxiety that was like a hurricane inside her, she would have asked her about it.
Harlow couldn't help but avoid her piercing gaze, it made it easier for her. She was beyond intimating. A sigh left the headmistress's lips, "No, but I would like to speak about your encounter with Michael Collins yesterday."
When his name left her mouth, instantly her head shot up. Curious as to what they thought about her encounter with the devil himself, although her opinion of him is begin to change. 'Damn him.'
"What?" Harlow mumbled faintly, confused.
Whatever she wanted to know about her encounter with him, Harlow knew herself wasn't evolved for the constant stress that she was feeling inside, constantly resilient, it makes her feel so sick inside. Feeling anxious is difficult because it is supposed to only ever be short term, but lately it has be nothing but long term for her and the more she tries to push it away, it strikes like lightening.
A fearful feeling entered through her veins, consuming every part of her. 'They knew.' Of course they knew, this town was highly supervised. It wouldn't be one of the best and most largest pack if it wasn't vigilant. No matter where you went, Who you were with they knew. They alway knew. And with that thought, it made her uncomfortable, quickly realising how much lack of privacy this pack offered.
"The guy in the black hoodie," she confirms what she had seen, making it clearer for her. Not that she needed too, Harlow was fully aware of what happened and who she was referring to. "He is Michael Collins?"
Harlow only stared at her, what was she supposed to say? Should she tell them he's her mate-
"I want to know what happened, what did he say?" She continued to pester her with question.
"I- I don't know," she stutters, looking all the more guilty for not knowing the answer to help them, but she also didn't want them to hurt him or worse, find out his was her mate. "He didn't say anything..."
Her eyes lowered slightly, "I was just getting some bread for my nan and, " Her voice wavered, losing the ability to speak, no sound would come out anymore, this was all too much.
"Strange...?" She says, lowering her eyes. Her face held the same confused look she had plastered upon her face. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"
Was there anything else? Yes, so much more. In this moment, there is a split of a second where she almost told them the truth, but how could she...they already saw her like an outside, someone they didn't trust. Imagine what they would do if they found out the devil had a mate. "No," she lied, shaking her head.
Although, why she decided all of a sudden to lie to one of her pack members, she didn't know but that didn't mean there no guilt withering inside her. It felt like she was betraying her pack, which she was but she didn't understand why, why would she instantly chose to protect a psychotic murderer.
"Alright then, you are excused." She waved a hand in a dismissal manner.
The breath that Harlow didn't know was hold just escaped. Slowly she got out of the armed chair, leaving its comfortable cushion behind, yet it was a complete contradiction to how she felt inside. There was nothing comfortable there. When her hand reached the door nob, "Miss Gage, you are telling the truth aren't you?" She asked. Her heart beat escalated into overdrive, hectic and quick paced. Closing her eyes, realising a heavy breath, "I need to be certain."
"Yes, that's all." She said, "No words was exchanged, I'm sorry. I was too frightened to ask why he was t-there." If she had, would he have killed her.
"I'm sorry you had to experience that, truly." Her voice was sincere, "First day here and you had to come face tot face with a killer, couldn't have been easy."
Her words were comforting to anyone else who would have gone through that, but for her it was the opposite. She had to come to terms that a murderer was her mate, and she didn't know how to. "Is this all?" Harlow asked again.
The need to be as far away from her was indestructible, it was strong. "Yes."
Harlow didn't spend a second longer in there, she got out of there like her office was a disease of some sort.
Pulling out her map in her backpack, she used it as guidance to her history class. Mia had directed her yesterday but today she was alone in finding her class, at least for now. Harlow looked around for the nearest stairs and found them on her right. It didn't take her long to find the classroom, it was just as easy as yesterday.
She couldn't help but walk slow towards it, a history less was the least important thing on her mind. The image of him took over her mind and that's all her mind could possibly concentrate on, history class didn't even come close. Not even by a little.
'Ugh! Stop it.'
By the time she reached the door, she took a deep long breath in, and twisted the handle, opening it instantly. Just as yesterday, everyones eyes immediately was on her and just like yesterday, she hated it. This time more than ever before.
"Take a seat miss Gage."
************************
Her lessons went by quickly, which she didn't mind.
Her Lunch break however, seemed to be dragging out more than ever before. "Come on tell me, what did the headmistress want?" Mia asked for the millionth time today, "Are you in trouble? What did you do?"
Sighing heavily, "Mia I told you, she just wanted to properly welcome me here." No matter how much she repeated herself, Mia didn't seem to believe it in the slightest. Harlow didn't know long she could keep the lie up, was it really wroth her lying about her encounter with Michael Collins.
'Yes.' Her brain kept on saying. Logically, she understood why she had to keep it hushed. If the word got out that she was mated to Michael Collins...who knows how she would be treated. Maybe even used against him, not that he would care. Less hassle for him, he didn't want to ruin the streak he had going on. Being utterly and completely cold hearted.
Since yesterday and especially today, since she found out the identity of her supposed destined mate, he was the only thing living in her mind. Sometimes all she wanted to do was bang her head against something hard that would maybe knock some sense into her. It was hard imagining Michael in a relationship as it it, holding a girl's hand pr giving her a kiss without her mind returning to his monstrous side. Let alone doing all those things with her.
A mental image of Michael Collins flashed across her mind, and she couldn't help but shake her head at how unrealistic it seemed.
"Hey snap out of it!" Someone was shaking her. Clearing her head from any thoughts about her mate and focused.
"How many times are you going to keep on doing this?" Mia asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Great, her first friend here and she was mad. That's what she needed, another person to be mad at her for something that wasn't her fault.
"Doing what ?" She replied confused but what she meant. Did she do something wrong?
Harlow witness her eyes rolling as if she expected her answer. "You keep zoning out on me, you've been doing it all day, it's starting to get on my nerves. So stop it!"
"Oh, sorry."
"What is it? What are you thinking of that you can't listen to me for like two seconds to think about?"
Micheal Collins.
"Nothing you don't need to worry about it. I'm just a little anxious about being the new kid here." Mentally, she congratulated herself for coming up with a lie like that, not that it wasn't true. She was anxious about being around people she didn't know, especially in an environment where practically everyone hated you. She really missed her hometown, her old pack, at least there no one bothered you.
Mia slapped her back in a friendly manner. "You worry too much, you know?"
"I guess..."
"So, I decided you and I should go shopping on the weekend, how does that sound?" She asked giving her the cheesiest grin Harlow had ever seen.
The most thing she hated more than Michael Collins in this world was shopping. Ironic, since she couldn't hate him anymore. "I don't know..."
"Oh, come on. It would be nice to connect with others here. It will be fun." She says convincingly, but shopping wasn't seen as fun for her. In fact, it was torture for her.
Nonetheless, "Fine..." she huffed, maybe a bit of change wouldn't hurt anyone.
"Aaa, that's great!" She gleamed, "Ryan can take us."
'Oh, joy.'
"Ryan take you where?"
Speak of the Devil. Harlow watched as he walked over to them wearing a big smile on his face. When he reached them, he instantly pulled Mia to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.
She giggled- which she seemed to do a lot around him- and gave him an award winning grin. "Hi Ryan."
"Hey," he responded burying his face in her neck.
Dammit! Why couldn't she be treated like that? The universe did her dirty, there was no other reason for her great misfortune.
The pain that she felt, a longing- it was unbearable. She always thought that when she found her mate, it would be something out of a fairytale. He would stare at her for a second, recognise her, then pull her into his arms and express his love to her in many different ways. However, she always knew life was never fair; she always had to be the loser.
"I love you," he told her.
Mia seemed to rely by pulling him to her and kiss him on the spot on the lips.
Looking away. Harlow couldn't help but bit her lip and moved a little bit further away from them. She couldn't help but remind herself that she would never be able to do that with Michael. He wouldn't let anyone touch him let alone kiss him, she saw the coldness that lingered in his eyes.
'God, I hate him...'
'No you don't.'
Even her mind was against her. She felt it, the tear that escaped her eye and that's when she knew that it was her signal to leave, to get out of here. She missed him. There...she admitted it. She missed him, her murderous psychotic made. She barely even knew him and there she was, pathetically thinking about him.
Her heart was being ripped from side to side by an invisible hand. A myth went around, that when you're away from your mate for too long without mating, or some sort of rejection, the Gods above sent creatures to eat their hearts, of course she didn't believe such things. But it felt like it something was eating at her heart. She didn't know how else to explain it, being in a constant conflict with your heart and mind was hard.
All she wanted to do was disappear, to feel numb and not have to feel all these feelings inside. Did he feel this conflict in his head? Or was it just her.
'Just me.'
Mia and Ryan didn't even noticed when she left the table. They were too busy sucking each others faces to have noticed, but she wasn't complaining. Actually, she felt thankful for Ryan's sudden appearance, it gave her ears a bit of a break.
As she walked through the hall, reaching the exist to the outside. Checking her watch, she still had thirty minutes left. Maybe she could write for a little bit outside, a bit of alone time for her.
Just a couple feet away, the forests laid outstretch in front of her. Trees and more trees frilled her view, 'Don't go outside by yourself.' Her headmistress heaved her warning, but what could be worse than being mated to Michael Collins? Nothing, exactly nothing.
Her shoes crushed the grass beneath her feet. Slowly she neared the closest tree to the school, she wasn't that stupid enough to go further into those woods alone. She barely knew her way around the school, never mind the woods.
Dropping her back pack, she slid down to sit with her feet crossed. Swiftly grabbing her backpack and unzipped it, pulling out her journal. Her mom had gifted it for Christmas, she said it would help her thought process and in a way it has, but Harlow didn't even know where to start writing about the last two days. Honestly, she hated writing in this thing but it was a way to let it all out- the disappointment, the fear and her mixed feeling towards Michael Collins.
Pulling out her pen, putting it on the white page the notebook provided. It remained there ever unmoving, she didn't know what to write. Where to start?
Unfortunately for her, it was answered for her. The pain that surge through her body left her unable to write, to function. At first, the burning pain came and went, giving her only split of a second of space to breath.
Pain. Red, hot pain. That's all there was, just sheer pain surging through her body. With eyes wide, panicked. Harlow looked around for the source of what caused the the pain but nothing, she was alone. Complete and utterly alone.
It crashes throughout her body like a tidal wave. Harlow gasped out loud, as the pain made itself know, it came back with a vengeance. These pains may be an unwelcome guest in her body, but it didn't care.
'What is happening to me?' Her mind search for an answer, and Harlow hoped her wolf could answer it for her but all she heard was a whimper in the deepest part of her mind. Something was burning inside of her, begging to come out.
The notebook instantly felt, as her hands grasped her lower part of her abnormal, pressing her hands slightly in to make the burning flame inside her stop. Her heart rate spiked at a quickened pace in her chest. What was happening to her?
She let out a silent scream as the pain peaked. By now, her eyes were watering. Her breathing was laboured, and the water spilled down her face as she let out a small cry. Trying her best to stay quiet to make sure that she didn't cause any commotion in the school as she already had. She didn't want to give the Crescent Pack another reason to receive more of their judge eyes, she was a loser already, why add more to it.
Her breaths came out as pants, instantly her hands held her stomach, where the pain seemed to be emitting. Yet, no matter how much she held her stomach tight, the burning never wavered, it only seemed to increase. Harlow felt like she had been lit on fire. uncontrollable sobs muffled out of her mouth.
'Please make it stop...' She pleaded to her wolf inside her, but it was like she was never there. No longer present within her mind, it was as if she had been abandoned.
"Oh God..." She cried out in a whisper, the words leaving her lips without permission.
All of a sudden, the burning decreased. It still hurt like hell within her, but her panting slowly became normal breathing and her eyes stopped crying. She slowly relaxed from her tensed position. Slowly, she took her hands off her stomach. They shook violently as she raised them to her cheeks wiping the left residue of her pain. She got rid of any evidence of her sudden hell, wiping it completely. Like it never happened.
'It never happened.' Yet, it did. But she didn't know where it came from, what caused such a pain.