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who I am ?( why can't I live my life my way)

🇮🇳poonamvatsa
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Synopsis
from childhood I was taught to be truthful, honest Loving etc etc ......but why suddenly when I started growing up it all became just showing up.. everything..we were not too rich even ..I mean to show off in society.still just because I was a girl I need to sit eat, laugh, walk sleep cloth, everything had to be particular..I was honest to myself and natural. it's unfortunate or Fortunate I don't know buty mother never had time or will even to train me according to society Norms. I was always close to my father only as a child..and he used to talk philosophy usually which I now realise was just bookish because I never saw him being that humble as he taught me. than so many things happened during my adolescent age and youth now I feel who i am? though I have already found my answer this story is all about finding myself..how I experienced life.. how I experienced changing faces of relationships ..every moment of those years which helped me finding myself.. in these years I loved someone special too much to the extent of loosing my own life..I became a slave to him.but that that relationship helped me a lot too... love beautiful feeling of the world. please welcome to the world of ocean , my name is Ocean..this is my story ...

Table of contents

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Chapter 1 - present life

it's midnight and I am here still awake. how can I sleep after going through all that drama betrayal and suffocation.

but now actually I feel relieved. for the first time in my life I am experiencing that genuine love of my life which is spiritually said to be true..love for myself and my life my own being..

I still remember when I confessed my love to him. Teenu I used to call him vicks ha ha ha..

I was so much in love with him I made such a bold decision of my life without even thinking once. at that time I was going through a very bad and very beautiful phase of my life..a new life was growing inside me and my marriage of one and half year was failing apart. I felt extreme pain and depression before that decision. because my husband was animalistic person and felt no responsibility towards me or my child. just because of his behaviour and his animalistic selfishness I already had lost a 5months pregnancy past year . I wasn't ready to loose this one too. I so much wanted this child to deliver alive

I could do anything for my child to come to this world healthy and alive.

though I knew no-one will approve my decision of leaving my husband or divorce.i will have to face more than I could think. being a single parent was extremely difficult and that too with a love relationship with a married' man.

but I was ready because I of my trust in love life.