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Immortal Ted Xi

Apprentice4
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Synopsis
What would be the future of an authoritarian ruler and distinguished immortal when he reincarnates into the body of a Teddy, gifted as an adorable toy to a strange child on his 5th birthday?
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Chapter 1 - I Shall Conquer the World Again

Heaven is a fictional place, even for the cultivators that live in the Cultivation World, but there was a certain man, that broke this myth and made it a reality.

This Man was Xi Long, the sword immortal that slashed his sword at heaven after passing his 9th heavenly tribulation and becoming the Celestial Immortal.

That single slash managed to reach Heaven, where the immortal emperor's court was and ruined his private garden. A river of stars came flowing down the mortal plane, like blood cascading down from an open wound and caused chaos.

The Immortal Emperor, angry at the imprudence of Sword Immortal Xi, sent three Divine Kings to bring his head, but even with all odds against him, he still managed to survive the pursuit.

In a barren land, with black soil covering the surface and darkness hiding the holes and caves of the uneven surface, Xi Long was suppressing his breath, hiding in one such crevice, thinking bitterly to himself,

'Heh, what Immortal Emperor, What Divine King, one day, all of them would grovel beneath me, begging to be spared under my sword, I shall rise above all else, I shall own the heavens.'

"Hello there, aren't you bored alone?" an old and weary voice broke Xi Long's chain of grand ambitions as he looked around in shock, 'How is this possible!? How can someone sense my aura?'

"WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" Xi Long shouted as loud as he could, panicked after having his location exposed, but even after some time passed, there was no response.

A sneer naturally rested on Xi Long's face after his pride was hurt as he waved his hand and a 2 meters tall broadsword appeared within them.

He slashed it with all his might, a supreme aura radiated as golden waves of energy flew off in all directions, conquering and purifying the inherent darkness within this land.

He didn't stop after one slash though. Releasing a pent-up roar, he chopped again, and again, and again, until there was nothing around him for hundreds of miles but a wide and lifeless crater.

Just as Xi long was about to stop, he found the same Qi that has been his devotee for as long as he could remember, refuse to listen to him.

'What the fuck?' suddenly the atmospheric pressure began to crush him from all directions, air refused to enter his nostrils, and he felt a deep disgust and revulsion radiating from everything surrounding him.

The abysmal pressure didn't attempt to crush him and only brought him down to his knees and made him lower his head.

He tried to shout again but even his body's rhythm seemed to have gone out of his control. The only thing that he could control at this point was his thoughts, him, a dignified celestial immortal!!

As he was gritting his teeth, wondering what was happening, he heard the weary voice for the second time.

At first, it released a sigh. Xi Long could infer from it that the owner of the weary voice was now floating in front of him, but through some weird sorcery, he wasn't able to control his body and therefore had his forehead touching the ground, in the kowtowing pose.

"Xi Long, the heavens bestowed you supreme immortal spiritual root in the mortal realm. The heavens bestowed you the heart to comprehend anything and everything at a single glance." The weary voice started speaking in a neutral tone, unaffected by the silence of the world.

"But you.. you wasted all of it. You wasted your gifts the moment the thought of needlessly conquering the immortal court came into your mind. It's very pitiful, how you ruined your immortal fate." the neutral pitch rose in frequency, and the voice now sounded like a chiding neighborhood grandpa but from here this changed further as Divine Majesty flickered from the mysterious figure under whose feet Xi Long was groveling.

"Hereby, for your violations against heaven and your heretical thoughts against the immortal court, I sentence you to live the rest of your life in the 'Lower Mortal Realm'."

Suddenly, a white light covered Xi Long's sight and even his thought process, the only aspect of his body that he retained control of, started blurring and fading gradually.

By this time, even with a sluggish thought, he had realized the identity of the old voice that was causing all this. 'The Immortal Emperor!!! Even the immortal emperor had to descend to kill me this time, but so what, I was supreme in the Cultivation Realm, I shall be supreme in the Mortal Realm as well. Hehe, immortal emperor, just you wait.'

In the same place, deep within the crater where Xi Long was kneeling just a few moments ago, an old man, bald, skinny, and wrinkled, stood with a frown that covered his entire head, 'This BITCH! He doesn't even know I can hear his thoughts. I HAD to come down huh? I was just that bored and annoyed at how childish an immortal can be. Heh, you need to be taught a lesson. Let's see how well you fare.'

Far away, in the dark region of the Universe known as the Lower Mortal Region, a stunning intangible ray of light flashed before falling on one of the trillion spherical planets and planes within.

...

Xi's POV

When Xi regained consciousness, he found himself in a dark place, like a floating bubble in space. He could neither feel his body nor open his eyes. When he tried to shift and change anything, a resounding bell rang within what was left of his mind, followed by a child-like voice.

"DING, do you accept this contract in exchange for being able to sense, feel, move, and interact?"

'Heh, immortal emperor, what sort of contract do you intend to use in exchange for my freedom? No matter what, once I regain control, I shall conquer the world again.' As if understanding his intent, the childish voice rang again,

"DING, you have accepted the slave contract. Congratulations on acquiring the body of 'Stuffed caramel chubby teddy bear for children - cheap'."

'Wtf, WHAT, WHAT, no, no, NOOO.' As Sword Immortal Xi Long or Ted Xi glimpsed at his body with his adorable unblinking eyes and heard the notification, his mind went blank, before he tried to let out a horrifying scream, which he couldn't, because it was not allowed by his contract.

His body was of a 2.5 feet tall, lovely, creamy-furred teddy bear and he was currently sitting in a box, stinking, as if someone had taken a piss on him, washed him, and dried him.

Suddenly he heard the sound of skipping footsteps as someone opened the door of the room he was locked in, and for the first time in the 'Lower Mortal Realm', an exiled sword immortal saw his master.