Sierra shoved the remainder of her clothes into the duffel bag, zipping the bag up angrily over the stupid costumes and accessories. She stormed out of the studio room with enough of a furious air about her to match her mother's, her street shoes tapping with each step.
"Sierra we're not finished!" Her mom shouted from where she was standing next to one of the production managers. The manager looked away. "You better be back here in a half an hour." Her mother pointed a finger as if in threat.
Sierra continued to walk, heat rising on her features, her forehead suddenly burning. Everyone had been staring at her. She didn't care that they'd call her a brat or a diva from the way she marched out of the studio in a fit. She didn't care that her mom was likely taking all the money they'd earned from the shoot today. She was done playing her mother's dress up doll.
As soon as she pushed open the doors and reached the sunny street, she pulled out her cell phone to call Kashi. She prayed she'd pick up. Her shift would be ending soon anyway.
It rang once. Twice. Three times… Finally, "Sierra, hey what's up?"
"Can you come pick me up?"
Sierra gave Kashi the address of a local coffee shop over the phone and Kashi promised she'd leave that very moment. Still, it was a long drive from their little home town. Sierra hoped she hadn't sounded as upset as she felt on the phone. She didn't want Kashi to worry. It was just that— Sierra's mom had promised that she'd try a little harder to be nicer to Sierra and to find what she wanted and Sierra had fallen for it.
Sierra's mother had been laying on their back porch, soaking up some sun, a magazine in hand. Sierra saw her and was about to turn around when her mother waved her over. "Sierra, come sit with me for a moment, we need to chat, you and I."
"Mom if this about the commercial I do not want to be the face of—"
"Sierra honey it is about that but it's not—" Her mom began.
"Save it!" Sierra turned on her heel.
"Sierra, I want to apologize."
Sierra had to steady herself, "What?" She turned around to face her mom who had sat up to face her, magazine and lemonade forgotten on the little table.
"Look Sierra, I know I haven't been the best t— to you, but I want to change that. You know that I make you participate in photoshoots and commercials and performances because I want you to be successful, but I realized that what does success mean if you aren't… h— happy?"
Sierra raised an eyebrow. Was her mother… crying? Gingerly she walked onto the porch taking a seat in one of the low backed iron chairs at the table nearby. "Um, yeah I guess so. But that's what I've been telling you forever."
"I know I just thought that it was some form of teenage rebellion. Or that you would come to appreciate it later. It was just— you're a marvelous speaker, and dancer, and you're a beautiful woman Sierra. I felt like the cameras were made for you." Her mother said, fiddling nervously with her hands.
"No mom, that's you. You were the actress, the singer, the model, the dancer. I don't know what I want to be mom, but it's not that. I'm not out for a life of flashy cameras. I like the small town life. I like the parties in the old barns, hanging at Belle's diner, the farmer's markets."
Her mom nodded. "Why— why don't you and I go into the city tomorrow and we can just spend a day together. We'll get some coffee, do some shopping, lunch and dessert at this brand new restaurant."
"Sure mom." Sierra nodded hesitantly. "I have some stuff to do, but tomorrow…"
Tomorrow hadn't been an apology at all. It had been an excuse to get Sierra into the city to try out for a dance team that was often featured in music videos and such. She'd gone inside the building thinking they were going to see a performance, not try out for one.
Sierra was sipping a latte, staring out at the crowded street from her table waiting for Kashi to arrive. She bit the inside of her lip to keep the tears from falling down her face. Lines down her foundation and puzzling looks from strangers wasn't her cup of tea.
Sierra sat back, listening to the conversations and watching the bustling around her. There was a women's Bible study group meeting in the back of the cafe. Directly beside her a woman was listening to music while writing what looked to be a paper full of citations and long chains of numbers. There was a couple seated by the window twin to Sierra's who were discussing how they were going to decorate their nursery in anticipation. A father reassuring his son about the baseball game coming that evening.
Something about it made Sierra hurt inside. They all had purposes, and meaning, and they all seemed content. She rested her chin on her fist, again trying desperately to keep from crying. Sure she had Kashi as a great friend. Her family had always felt like a second home. But Sierra wanted her home to feel like home. She fought with her mother all the time, her father was never home, and her brothers were being raised by a nanny. It made her so jealous of everyone around her and she hated that feeling. She had all the money she could want, she had an impressive amount of cultivated talents and she had so many friends, but Sierra just wished that she could have a family who loved each other and sat down for dinner together and could enjoy peaceful holidays.
When Kashi walked in the door, Sierra couldn't hold the tears inside her anymore.