Today another day has passed, the sun lost its light again, and darkness began to take its place. Just as infinite darkness had spread within her, which was neither letting her die nor freeing her of this cage.
She was sitting on the sands, and her gaze was towards the setting sun, but her mind was tangled in her web of thoughts.
She wants to forget what happened in the past. But that is probably impossible. Because her every breath reminds her of every single moment she's running away from, which she wants to forget at any cost.
But she can't forget anything, it's not in her power.
Sometimes when she sees the people around her laughing and smiling, she would look at them with sad eyes, but she hoped that someday she may forget everything and start a new life like a free bird, as she used to live before that accident.
Because of the way she's living her life, it's nothing but a burden on her family. Because she has been tormenting them for five and a half years even though she didn't want to, but she was helpless, she couldn't control her mind, her emotions that always torment her by reminding her of her past, her mistakes that she made and caused her family to suffer with her.
They think it was not her fault, and she at least tries to forget everything, but what can she do? This life is slipping away like sand from her hands, the sand in which she has buried her father.
Her mother and brother said a million times that she was not responsible for her father's death, but she doesn't believe them because she knew she was the sole reason why today he's not with them.
Five years ago, if she had listened to his brother and hadn't gone there, today her father would have been alive with them.
"Bhai!" You ruined my shirt! It was my expensive shirt?!"She came out of her burning world at her sister, Zarish's voice, and without wasting a second, she immediately wiped away the tears from her eyes. But she still didn't turn her head to look at them because she wanted to compose herself.
Today, her brother Aashir and Zarish had brought her here to the seaside to lift her mood because, according to her psychiatrist, they need to change her atmosphere to treat her severe depression, and it can help her to come out of her loneliness.
Even though her eyes were still moist with her tears, when she recalled her doctor's suggestion, her lips lifted in a sad smile.
They all said the same thing.
Three years ago after her father's death, her condition was worsening day by day, she would often sit somewhere in a corner and would cry the whole night missing her father, feeling guilty for his death.
When nothing seemed to cure her illness, his brother and mother decided to change the city after her doctor suggested that they should change their house, where her father's memories don't upset her anymore. And they shifted from Lahore to here in Karachi. But even after all these efforts, nothing changed,
Her heart aches with the thought that despite her family's unending efforts, she was still there where she lost everything. She still feels those moments where he robbed her of her happiness, her life.
The person she trusted from her heart, destroyed her with his own hands.
Whenever she thinks about that night, a question always resonates in her mind. What if she hadn't said those words to him, would her situation have been different today?
Bowing her head, Aayat quickly wiped the new tears from her cheeks with the back of her hands and turned her head to look at her brother and sister who had just gone to get ice cream and were now coming back.
Zarish was still cleaning the ice cream from her dress with tissue, and at the same time, she was saying something to him frowning. And due to the distance between them, Aayat didn't know what she was saying, but Aashir was laughing lightly at her instead of saying anything.
A few years ago, Aashir and her relationship were also like that. Despite the age difference of five and a half years between them, she used to make a lot of fun of him, and when Aashir would try to annoy her back, she would cry and would always complain to her father.
But now everything has changed, she no longer annoys her brother, and her brother doesn't act like her brother because after her father's death he has taken his place in her life.
Looking at Zarish, a faint smile appeared on her lips, and at that moment Aashir had also looked at her.
Seeing her smiling like this, a big smile appeared on his face, and he said something to Zarish and headed towards her and sat down on the sand beside her.
"Where is Zarish going?" Aayat saw Zarish going back and asked him.
"She's going to buy her ice cream again, she's still a baby, just like you used to be..." Aashir said softly, and with that, his flamboyant expression was now completely gone. And it was replaced by depression, grief, and anger.
Aayat looked at Aashir with a deep gaze. Trying to remember their beautiful memories.
"You were crying again," Aashir said looking into her eyes. That was no question. She doesn't even know when looking at the setting sun behind the sea, she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when her eyes teared up and those pearls started falling like rain.
She knew that her eyes must have turned a little red because of her crying. So at the second moment, she lowered her gaze to hide them from his brother.
"I am fine."
"Aayat, you don't have to say anything," Aashir said, taking a deep breath.
She put her head on her knees to hide her new falling tears. She did not want to look at her brother, she didn't want him to see her like this, but she can't control her emotions, she doesn't want him to know that she's still being haunted by those bitter memories.
Her soul is still there to mourn its loss.
"Forgive me, brother, I'm trying, but I can't forget all that, my heart and mind don't let me forget all that."
As soon as she said this, her heart filled up with her pain again.
She felt his hand on her head. He was caressing her hair like a father caresses his child.
As soon as she felt her brother's compassion, her burning soul felt numb, but she still did not dare to look up at her brother.
Aayat, Please stop blaming yourself. It was never your fault, it all happened because of that bastard! I won't let him live, I promise I will kill him myself!"
He said in such a harsh and cold tone that she looked at his face in shock. Where there was a great wave of anger and hatred. Seeing him like Aayat felt as if someone had taken her breath away.
Aashir's gaze was on the waves of the sea in front. His one hand was still on her head while the other hand was clenched in a fist.
"Bro, Ammi called and asked when we were coming home, and I also have to work on the assignment for tomorrow's class."
At Zarish's voice, Aayat looked away from Aashir and looked at Zarish.
"Yes, that's right."
In those two moments, Aashir had overcome his anger. Aayat breathed a sigh of relief as she got up and removed the sand from her clothes.
She again looked at her brother, who was now speaking with Zarish about something. His anger always reminded her of someone else, someone she wanted to forget but can never forget.
"You are the only mine! Not anyone else's!" His words were still ringing in her ears.