"I didn't… it can't be…."
"I won't forgive you!! Never!! you will feel the same pain I am feeling right now! I hate you, Adam, I hate you..!"
We think we are better than others. We can never do anything wrong, but the truth is, What time and circumstances can make us do, we can't even imagine.
He doesn't know why he did that. How could he bear to hurt someone he loved more than himself?
She was his first and only love...
He knew what he did was unforgivable, and to compensate for his sins even if he burns himself in the fire, it will be nothing to atone for his sins...
Every day he seeks forgiveness from his God for what he did to her, but What if he can't forgive himself? What if he feels disgusted with his existence?
Five years have passed since that night, five years, but even today, every moment of that night, her every sob in pain, her every fallen tear, still feels like acid on his heart.
With each passing day, evey moment, he dies a new death. Such a death that he gets in the form of the life of repentance.
That night, Adam told her that he loved her immensely. She was his most precious, the only love of his life.
But what did he do after that? Do people hurt their loved ones as he did? Do they bear to live after killing them?
"Mr. Adam, your mother has gained her consciousness. You can meet her if you want." The nurse's voice pulled him out of the darkness of his thoughts.
"Thanks," he said politely.
It has been more than two weeks since his mother was admitted to the hospital, and doctors say they can do nothing to help his mother. And his mother doesn't have much time anymore. At most a week only.
But his heart was not ready to accept this truth. She can't leave her son alone when he's on the verge of breaking down.
As soon as he opened the door of I C U and entered, his gaze fell on his beautiful mother.
Unaware of his presence, she was looking in the space. The corners of her eyes were moist. Which means she had been crying remembering his late father.
At the sound of the door closing, she looked straight at Adam's worried face and gave him the same smile that always makes him smile back at her.
His heart ached to recall her doctor's warning about her worsening condition.
"Hello, Mom, how are you?"
Adam greeted her and sat down on the seat next to her bed, and took her old hand, which was now nothing but bones and skin, in his strong hand.
Looking at her, a faint smile appeared on his face, which was completely different from the sadness in his eyes and the never-ending pain.
"I am fine, my love..." she spoke in a soft voice.
"Just get well soon. And we would go home. I know you don't like staying in a hospital." Adam said with a slight smile.
"Adam, you know very well about my worsening health, I know I don't have much time to live."
"Mom, don't say such things...!
At Sarah's words, Adam couldn't control himself and spoke in a stubborn tone, and even though he didn't want to, his eyes teared up at the thought of losing her.
He wanted to look strong in front of his mother because he didn't want her to be upset or worried for him. But the thought of her leaving him made him feel like the same 8-year-old boy who was shattered by his father's death, and who needed his mother to love him. But now, she's too going to leave him alone, and after her, there would be no one to care for him, to mend his shattered heart.
No! He can't let her die! She can't leave him like that. He knew that it was his mother who was preventing him from destroying himself. If something happens to her, he does not know what he will do to himself.
And how many days would he be able to stop losing himself in the darkness of his sinful past?
"Adam, don't worry my son, I'm not afraid of death, rather, I'm happy that I'm going to meet your father again because I know he's waiting for me. But it is also true that I don't want to leave you like this. "
By this time Adam was holding her hand with both his hands. silently shedding tears like a helpless man.
On the verge of losing his mother, he did not feel like a 28-year-old man, but he felt like a small child who held his mother's hand tightly not to get lost in the crowd.
He never told his mother anything about what happened in Dubai five years ago.
She has no idea about his sin.
She doesn't know how he had turned into a devil and destroyed someone's life. He never told her because he knew that if she ever found out, she would never forgive him, and he didn't want to lose her trust.
However, in return, He let her see him in this state. In his weakest moments, she was with him to support him to collect the shattered pieces of his broken heart.
She knew that there was something wrong with him. He had become very quiet after returning from Dubai. Seeing him feeling depressed like that, it seemed as if he was someone else, not her cheerful son who always loved to smile. But even after her best efforts, He did not break his silence.
All these years, he had successfully hidden his grief from his mother.
Adam knew how deeply his silence would affect Sarah, but by confessing his sin in front of her, he did not dare to lose her.
Adam looked at his Mom with moist eyes, who was looking at him anxiously.
"Mom, Don't worry about me, look, I am fine. You just relax. It's not okay for you to tire yourself out like this." He stopped her and asked her to sit back.
"Adam, you remember when you were ten years old, and you went to Aditya's birthday party, where you met Aditya's grandparents. And when you came back home, you asked me why you don't have grandparents and started crying that, like Aditya, you too want your grandparents." Sarah Suddenly reminded him of his childhood.
"You refused to talk to me for two days saying that you won't talk to me until I take you to meet with your grandparents." There was a slight smile on Sarah's face. And her eyes were closed as if she was reliving those old memories.
He was too stubborn back then.
Listening to her, Adam didn't understand her point. He was looking at her with uncertainty. "Mom...?"
"Your grandmother is alive, you have a family besides me."