Having it that I'd fallen asleep during third period Japanese— I still had lunch break and a period 4 to go through without falling asleep.
I had long changed back into my formal uniform as I had gotten in trouble with the housemasters for being in sports uniform...
They had scolded both Ben and I for not wearing our uniforms, she went on and on about us being seniors and how shameful it was for us to not be wearing our uniforms as it was almost accustomed to saying how ashamed we were of wearing our school colors.
Ben had tried to use the excuse that we had practice in the morning, but it had got the housemaster even more upset— and rightfully so...
Though I thought she was being a bitch for no reason as she could have just given us the detention slip and left.
But instead she had decided to chew us out an entire 10 minutes as we walked to the detention room...
It's true that the 'we had practice in the morning' excuse was way too late to use as we were seniors, and it was practically telling the housemaster that we were irresponsible— the words she'd said were quite harsh...
Having spent the last 30 minutes of our 40-minute lunch break in detention— the bell had finally rang, and I had to endure the last 70 minutes of agriculture studies without falling asleep... Damn, isn't the school system asking for the impossible.
I tucked my hands inside the pockets of my school blazer.
Yeah,— after getting in detention I asked the supervising teacher if I could go and change out of my sports uniform, she had readily accepted but told me that it still didn't change the fact that I had detention. C'mon, Miss, you're thinking too little of me right now. I wasn't going to change expecting to be let off that easy... it's just that... we're nearing April and... it's getting quite cold in this region...
Well not cold— it's just that the wind here is quite cool...
...
...
...
I felt someone tugging on the sleeve of my blazer.
The blazer was black and had our school's initials embroidered on it in gold beneath the chest pockets 'E.S.H.S.'.
I was wearing a white dress shirt underneath my blazer and I had my black pants which went with the uniform.
To be honest— I stood out in the crowd like a sore thumb.
In Australia, whether in school or outside of school— even when the temperature reaches below 10 degrees, no one would wear their blazer or their long pants... crazy, right?
They would wear a jumper at most and that's it— most of them even keep their uniform shorts and don't even bother changing into the winter styled long pants.
Damn, don't I look like an anime character now?
I looked quite abnormal in the crowd as I had full winter attire on.
Why can't you guys be like the Japanese? Don't the Japanese have to change from their winter uniform to summer uniform on the first of July? Where the hell is this culture here? The— wait... why the hell do I fell like I'm degrading myself? I feel sad now...
Oh wait, wasn't someone pulling on my sleeve? Uhn, yes, this should be my time to shine.
"Bro, are you spacing out again?" Ben asked me a question I wasn't expecting. No— Ben was the person I wasn't expecting!
Damn you! Why did you have to pull on my sleeve like that so softly?! It felt kinda sweet to the point I thought you were a girl.
Sigh... it seems my book of clichés is outdated...
Unless... had this been a BL story this entire time?!?!
Ok now. This getting off task thing is getting out of hand.
"Uhn, yeah I'm still tired tho." I nodded at Ben's inquiry.
Though I had fallen asleep multiple times after that 'nightmare' the weird demon hadn't shown up anytime later.
Was this a once a day thing? I didn't know— but the only way to find out later is by ignoring it for now.
...
...
...
Ben, Olivia and I had walked for approximately ten minutes before arriving at the train station. We scanned our GoCards which had deducted $2.70 from the cards.
(Author's Note: GoCards are cards used in all Translink services in Queensland. Senior Queenslanders receive a red card which has a certain discount on it, adults get an orange one with a certain discount, kids get a blue one with a certain discount and students get a green one with a certain discount. All GoCards are around 50% or so cheaper than normal tickets and are basically a second credit card but only used for trains, buses, ferry and tram networks for Translink services.)
We hopped onto the train for the next station and tapped our cards once more to finalize the transaction as to not get fined.
(Author's Note: If you do not tap on, you may be fined for travelling without a valid ticket. ... If you tap on at the beginning and then forget to tap off at the end of your trip, you will be charged the default fare for an incomplete trip.)
Walking a good 200-metre distance from the train station— we arrived at the manga store.
It was relatively hard to find a manga store or Japanese media stores in countries like Australia— no, even finding a Japanese restaurant was hard to find in suburban areas like this one, only being able to be found in the cities. Though I'm assuming that it might be a hassle trying to find a manga store in Brisbane City, I'll assume that there's at least one or two shops in the city.
Nonetheless, it had been a treasure to have found this store— well at least for me as it was of walking distance from my house.
The entrance of the store was a glass sliding door where it would be hard to see what was inside the shop without being close to the glass.
Coming inside the shop you'd be greeted by a shelf of anime Blue-Ray and DVDs on your left and a cabinet of newly imported figures and figurines from popular shows on the right.
The store was a modest size and no bigger than 10 to 15 meters square. Apart from the shelf of Blue-Rays and DVDs on the left, the left wall was also home to a multiple layered shelf with multiple and almost— from my perspective— countless numbers of manga and light novels. The shop had 7 shelves in total, one shelf for the Blue-Rays and DVD's, one shelf for the new releases, one shelf for figurines and collectables, and three shelves each for manga and light novels. The shop was also owned by an English speaking Japanese man whose appearance seemed to say that he was straight out of uni— however he was actually 27 and turning 28 in 2 months...
Don't ask how I know. It's confidential.
Though today I was expecting the Japanese shop owner— instead there were 2 other employees in his place— a bearded man and a blonde woman.
2 hours had passed since we've entered the store and Ben and Olivia are still searching.
Ok now, fuckin' hell, mate. School finished at 14:50 and it's currently 17:00. Fuck's sake, the shop is closing in 1 hour and you're still searching?!
As we had entered it had only taken me 10 minutes to get the books I'd needed, and I had already paid for them, yet these 2 were still deciding on what to buy.
"Jesus— can you just pick up a book already?" I urged the both of them to buy something. The shop was closing in 1 hour and we had homework due in 2 days— well it wasn't like I was going to do the homework anyway... it was just in the back of my mind— it was there as always, but I always ignored it as such like other responsibilities.
"Jeez, if you'd like you can just pick up a doujin— I swear, I won't judge..."
"They don't sell doujins though..." Ben raised his head from a book he was scrolling through.
"And even if they did— you'd think you might have to show your ID."
"Yeah, yeah..." I yawned while stretching my back.
I stretched out my hand without looking and picked up a random book. "Here you should read this or something."
Ben looking at the book cover tried holding in his laughter as his body shook. "Mmh, yes, I sure do love reading 'Sadistic Princess'."
"This one is a certified hood classic— the boys will surely love this one."
I raised my eyebrow before turning the book over to see the cover's contents.
The cover was just an anime girl holding a whip while wearing latex, the whole cover was screaming 'femdom'.
What the fuck, man?! I thought you didn't sell pornographic content!
"Hey! At least they have the first volume! Do you know how rare it is to find a book series with its first volume still on the shelf? Besides, there's nothing graphic or too explicit in the book." I flipped through the book while replying. This was actually some pretty good stuff... since Olivia's here I'll have to come back later.
"Did you guys find something for Ben?" Speak of the devil! I quickly put away this incriminating evidence back on the shelf as I adorned a righteous and noble expression.
"Yeah, pretty much." Using my ultra instincts I quickly found a manga Ben hadn't read in a flash. The manga wasn't bad either as I had to pay due respects to my bro.
"It's this one." I showed them the manga I found for Ben. "It's about some dude who dies and turns into a slime."
"Oh, yeah... I heard some good stuff about it too— I guess this'll do."
And just like that, Ben started with 3 volumes from that series while Olivia and I also bought a number of books.
...
I walked Ben and Olivia off at the train station as our paths separated. Ben and Olivia lived multiple suburbs away from school as my suburb is just about one suburb from school— it was just about 2 kilometers from school.
However, as I'm at the neighboring suburb's train station, my house was only about 1 and a half kilometers away from where I currently was— meaning I had decided to walk.
As I began walking— the faint smile I had worn on my face slowly began to shape itself into a blank look.
My face was blank and emotionless. A sense of loss quickly filling up my heart, but just as quickly as it had appeared it had vanished. Usually it's normal to feel a sense of loss when leaving friends or having to say goodbye and or leaving from a sleepover— but, was it normal to feel empty almost anytime when you're not with your friends?
I feel like an empty shell... was my character this shallow that I'd start to feel this way?
No— it wasn't my friends that I'd missed but... the surrounding atmosphere.
My heart felt empty as I walked home.
...
...
...
I was currently sitting on a chair outside a wooden cabin, this wooden cabin had a veranda where I was currently sitting and eating a late lunch.
It was currently winter and I had on a jumper and scarf. Due to it being winter, the sun was almost about to begin its set into darkness.
"Damn... it's only 16:00 and the sun's already starting to go down a bit." I took a bite out of my sandwich as I stared into the horizon with no where in mind.
Small footsteps could be heard from behind me.
"Jack, you know that this cabin is the temporary library and not the canteen." Olivia's sweet voice was heard from behind me as she peeked her head over my shoulders.
"I'm only having a sandwich, besides, I'm just eating outside and not inside." I gave her a lighthearted smile while taking a bit out of my sandwich. "Do you want a bite?" I offered as my smile returned to its neutral and blank expression. It was common courtesy to offer some of your food no matter what it was between friends. Whether I was having a drink, a slushy, or some food— I'd at least offer it to my friends. However, most of the time I'd wish they refuse my offer.
Though I hadn't noticed due to the sun, Olivia's cheeks had turned a slight tinted red as she blushed. "Uhm." She nodded in response.
Damn! Woman are you trying to steal my food? I'm gonna go hungry because of you! Sigh... it can't be helped... why the hell do you look so adorable?
I used my hands to separate a part of the sandwich to Olivia— No, I gave her the whole other fucking half! This was my favorite sandwich... I feel like crying.
Taking a bite out of the sandwich— Olivia made a delighted expression.
"Wow...! This is really nice! Did your mum make yours?" Olivia seemed to enjoy my sandwich. Damn, you sure are enjoying yourself...
I involuntarily smiled. Though I was quite sad at first— it seems this girl has a good taste for sandwiches.
"Nah, I make my own sandwiches." Ho ho〜 aren't you underestimating my sandwich making skills?
"My parents don't really do much stuff for me apart from work, it's pretty good— I get to do my own stuff like cook and do chores. They usually take care of my younger sister which helps me a lot with trying to organize myself. But I'm not that good at self organizing... besides I'm also known for doing things at the last minute— whether assignments or chores— it's kind of a pain for someone like me haha..." I spoke truthfully while giving an awkward smile. Though at first I thought they were pampering Lynne, them giving me responsibilities I didn't want had really sharpened my self awareness on how much I procrastinate.
Through this I'd also realised how clear-headed and organized Lynne was compared to me.
Olivia stayed silent for a while. Without me realising it, she had clenched her little fists and she was glaring at the ground.
"So... was that why... the other day..." Olivia mumbled a few words I had trouble understanding.
"What's wrong? I didn't catch that." I noticed her posture as she wasn't looking at me. Her face was staring at the ground, and she had clenched her fists. Was she upset at something?
"... from the other day... why... are you okay...?" Her voice was quite small, but I could still hear her. It was around 16:00 so the school was practically empty at this time and there were no clubs near this part of campus at this time— In fact, clubs should start to finish soon.
"Are you upset?" I asked straight forwardly.
Olivia stayed silent for a while.
"Yes! I'm upset!"
"Why's that?"
"No! Not 'why', but I'm upset at you, Jack!" I didn't answer as I waited for her to finish.
"I'm upset at you because you're always like this! You never tell us how you're feeling! You're always so silent even when everything is not alright!"
"..."
"The other day I was coming home late, and I heard you... you were... were crying, you were not alright! But even so— the next day I asked you if everything was alright, and you said it was fine. I'd find you crying on a few days of the month, and I've never confronted you about it. This has been happening for months, and you can't even tell your friends." Though she didn't say much, she seemed to have gotten more emotional. "I thought you might have just been going through some tough times, but it never seemed to stop. I was about to confront you about it the other day when Ben and I were at your house— but you had gotten into an argument with your parents and had stormed off. Ben and I each went off separately to look for you but when I found you and heard what you were saying..." Olivia seemed to have difficulty saying the last part—
'Why can't everything just disappear?'
'I fucking hate everything.'
'Why me?'
'If I could just disappear'
'Why does everyone hate me'
'I hate my life.'
'No one loves me.'
'No one truly cares anyway.'
'Would anyone care in the end... if I did?'
Were those the words she had heard me say...
That was true.
I didn't share any of that with them. I had long decided that showing my emotions had been useless and that when I did it had hurt me in the end. Furthermore, I usually show my happiness with my friends and family, but... had I cried in front of my friends? Had I genuinely cried out of something in front of my family? Had I ever cried in front of my family when the cause of my tears wasn't my own family?
The answer to all of those questions were the same— No.
Though few— tears were going down Olivia's face, her hands were trembling, and she was breathing shakily.
Sigh, it seems were quite similar in that aspect. Though you don't know how to express yourself well you manage to do it with emotion— however, the difference between us there is that I vent my emotions through words no one except myself will hear, and you share your emotions through action and confrontation.
"Sigh, you truly are a sweet girl." I reached my hand to take Olivia's as I gently stole her half of the sandwich she hadn't finished. I took one huge bitFinishing reminiscing out of it as I completely finished it.
As she still struggled to find the words to say next— I placed my arms behind her as I gave her an affectionate and friendly hug.
"I'm alright, now."
"I promise I'll share with you everything from now on."
"I'll never hide anything and I won't lie to you guys anymore"
I whispered those words into her ears.
...
...
...
Finishing reminiscing the events of last year— my first year meeting Ben and Olivia, I had a gentle smile on my usually blank expression as I folded my hands and placed them behind my neck.
"Sigh... I guess I lied."