As he laid there on that cold hospital bed, all he could sense was the vibrations of bed and beeping of the machines that he knew all too well from working in various hospitals over the years but didn't expect to be needing himself. He contemplated his life, he had tried to be a good person, which was the main reason he went to work in healthcare and then volunteered to help in the ICU when the pandemic hit. Other than his job he didn't really have much going for him, he played video games, watched anime and read books. Mostly about a similar RPG subject that he enjoyed.
He knew he wasn't likely to survive the ravages of the pandemic. He had seen many patients succumb to this disease that attacked your lungs causing scarring and fluid build up. The last few days all he had done was sleep, he didn't even intend to go to the hospital until his best friend had called around to make sure he was okay and even then she had to carry him into the car and into the emergency room.
"Is that beeping getting louder or quieter" and at that thought he realised his vision was fading.
Dark, darker, darkest still…
In this pitch black he could still think and remember, he was still himself,
"I wonder if I'm in the critical care unit on life support, patients had previously said to him about experiencing dreams while being sedated and intubated. Yes that has to be it"
all he could think of at that time was his family and how he would never see them again. He would miss his mother most who he always seemed to get along with and who never judged him but seemed to love him unconditionally as mothers do. And then memories of his sister came to him as they grew up together playing in a sand pit. Then his sister's son, A child who meant well but didn't like to hear the word no, but he would never say no to his nephew anyway.
After what seemed like forever and no time at all he started to notice a light surround him
"Let me guess, I've died"
And at that moment the light surrounded him flashed, banishing the darkness. He could see himself there naked in this bright area that had no features with the only way to describe it as white.
"Where would you like to go?" came a grand voice from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
"What" was the only thing he would respond with, he had no idea where he was or what was really going on.
"Where would you like to go?" repeated the voice. "I forget you lot do better with visuals" and at that moment a body appeared a slender elderly man with a long white beard and hair in a top knot, with long flowing robes that seem to be gently rippling as if with a gust of wind, although he could not seem to feel any wind.
"Is this form to your liking" with the grand voice from earlier now coming from this elderly man.
"Errrrm" was all he could muster up.
And with that "Errrm" the figure changed where the once elderly man stood was now a younger very beautiful lady in a resplendent white dress, with hair as golden as wheat gently billowing in the same fashion as the elderly man's robes.
"Does my form please you now" instead of the grand voice it was now ethereal and could only be described as a dawn chorus.
"Your form shouldn't be there to please me or make me feel comfortable" he was now able to respond in more than one syllable.
"And yet you are able to talk to me like this" chimed the lady. "So where is it you would like to go"
"I don't understand."
"Well you have lived a good enough life, but we don't have down here a set destination for you. Normally we have a place where you humans would like to go in your afterlife, but as you did not follow any main religion your destination remains blank."
"We have been getting more and more of these kinds of people such as yourself, and not too long ago the other gods and I decided those who had done good enough could choose their destination."
"So I repeat again where would you like to go"
"Can I go back? Is that an option, I'm not sure if I would like eternal bliss and happiness, it wouldn't give me a reason."
"You can not go back, your body is dead" the beautiful lady said in a matter of fact tone. "But there are other worlds you could go, we don't normally reincarnate but it has been done before, normally for those who have not been bad but at the same time not been good enough. It gives them another chance to prove themselves."
At that point he noticed that this beautiful lady was looking at a piece of paper, had it always been there and he didn't notice, he wasn't sure this place was so bright and white he might have missed it.
"Yes i have the perfect place for you, looking at your information, you was a fan of fantasy, well it's all sorted, you can go on your own isekai adventure, away you go"
"But where am I going? What is this place? Who are you? What is your name?" he said frantically as he noticed the lights again forming around his body.
"I am the deity of new beginnings. Janus, and i don't want to spoil the surprise." With that a glint in the beautiful goddess' eyes flashed, the flash seemed to envelop him in light and then the world went to blackness again.
"Darkness again."
He tried to feel out with his arms and then his legs the normal sense of touch was not the same, it was like he was enveloped by this darkness but not in a sinister way, in a loving kind embrace, that would protect him.
"Am i back at the hospital, was that just a weird dream and i'm still being sedated. But that God...Goddess...God?? Janus had said I had died." "how can i be thinking about the gender of a god, even in death some human subjects never seem to change, maybe the deities have no gender and man just imposes them upon their likeness"
"This is some next level philosophy thinking and probably beyond my comprehension"
"At Least i have my memories, I've read many reincarnation isekai light novels where the main protagonist loses their memories. But why am I still in darkness and not being summoned. Am I waiting for them to do it or do I need to do something myself."
"Oh I died, I can't be summoned if i don't have a body to be summoned with." and then it clicked for him what Janus had said, "reincarnate" as his old body was dead and gone he must be in someone's womb building a new one. "Well this is going to be boring"
Time passed for him, he spent most of the time sleeping, the rest of the time when he was awake in this darkness, he would think, about his old life. How he never found anyone to connect to on a personal level, how he never found love for himself.
How he spent most of his time at the hospital working and then his free time playing video games or reading. "No wonder i was always single" it's not like there were many people to meet on his sofa. "Would i find love in this new world, What is this new world going to be like"
His only hint of the world he had gained from his brief meeting with Janus was, Fantasy and isekai adventure. "Yes I shall go out and see this new world, and embrace the adventure."
And with that thought he was being compressed, tightly squeezed, pushed in the only direction he could think of as down.
After so long inside the darkness and what was obviously his new mothers womb the bright lights stung his eyes, when he got used to the light he looked around to see 3 women, the lady on the bed was obviously his mother.
A beautiful lady with blonde hair that reminded him of the goddess form of Janus, even in her tired state post labour he could tell she was naturally beautiful. And then the other 2 women in the room must be the midwife and what appeared to be her assistant. The midwife was a squat middle aged woman with dark hair, pale complexion and an old style nurses hat on. The assistant she was only around 16 maybe 17 probably learning midwifery as a trade he suspected.
At that point he was unceremoniously upended legs in the air dangling and then the midwife sharply spanked his bottom .
"What the hell" is what he wanted to say but instead all that came out was a newborn baby's cry.
After his cry all the faces in the room beamed with joy "it's a boy, Mi lady, I reckon he is going to be a handful, judging by how he is looking at everything already."
He was handed over to his mother and in her warm embrace he fell asleep.