Being connected to haraakaiy especially the way I was connected that first time contorts the laws of physics in ways that cant be explained; the ability to interact with the physical world yet somehow remain apart from it to feel everything around you as they happened in slow motion to be connected to your surroundings. But all I thought about was my cowardice even as I ran from the fight. My tears flowing off my face in slow motion only to stream behind me, I ran to the general direction my house was supposed to be even as I felt the first heroes behind to appear at the edge of my consciousness. I barely registered the carnage all around me as I ran, Civilians and members of the city guard fighting with all they had. Death, collapse of infrastructure, grief it was the picture of the apocalypse. But did I care even as lives were lost around me?
yes I did, but I simply ran too lacking in courage to do anything about it.
I could feel every death, every stab, every display of power around me as I ran yet I did nothing. Too lost in the pain of what I had lost, Too scared of what I might find at home to muster the strength of mind to recognize the need to prevent another from experiencing the same kind of loss.
Sometimes I wonder how things would've turned out if I wasn't so spineless, so weak, so caught up in my own world.
"Tobi!!"
I looked up, surprised that I had already gotten home in so short a time.
Looking at me with a kind of understanding I never knew I could find in the eyes of another, my mother floated towards me for a hug the smell of ozone still hanging around her from the just finished fight . I hugged her back and I collapsed into her arms.