There's a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain
~*~
Lyma stared at the big wall-mounted mirror in front of her. A pair of hazel colored eyes, heart-shaped lips, prominent jawline, long black hair and pale skin. That is what the girl looks like in the mirror.
"That's not me." Lyma murmured. Memories of what happened yesterday flashed inside her mind.
'I am Lyma.'
Aside from her name, Lyma don't know anything about herself. She don't know why and how she got here. She doesn't remember as if they were erased. But instead, she now have memories of Pandora.
"Pandora." She whispered. She stared at the mirror's reflection more intently.
'That's Pandora.' She thought referring to the mirror's reflection.
"Then what do I look like?" She murmured.
Her chest tightens at the thought that she cannot even remember her own face.
Knowing nothing except her name while inside someone else's body. And possess the memories of the said body. She felt foreign. Lost. Scared. Lonely.
"I don't know who I am. I don't know how I got here. I don't know where I'm from! What am I supposed to do now?" She asked as if wanting the reflection in front of her to answer.
What Lyma can remember is that she started to possess Pandora's body after she woke up under the Gingko Tree. Aside from that, she can also remember what she did for the couple of days she's in Pandora's body. Her effort to learn about the place, about Pandora herself. She remember not having Pandora's memories of the past. And struggle to know them. She remember reading through those stacks of history books. And in those memories, she felt something is lacking. Something was somehow omitted.
"Why would I want to know about this place? Why would I stay? Why didn't I escape and returned home?"
Home. Somehow it brought a little pang in Lyma's heart.
A small knock followed by Lily's soft voice brought Lyma back to her senses. "May I come in, Your Highness?"
"Come in, Lily." Lyma replied.
The door creaked opened and Lily emerged, entering the room. "Your Highness, shall we start preparing now?" Lily asked.
Lyma remembered that she needs to attend today's luncheon at the Main Palace Pavilion. They will be having a welcome meal for the guests that arrived last night.
"Let's make it simple, Lily." Lyma instructed.
"Yes, Your Highness." Lily replied
Lily opened one of the cabinets that hold Pandora's garments. She pulled out a square neckline short-sleeved flowy A-line peach dress. It does not have any design nor decorations on the upper part and the only design is the white flower embroidered on the dress' hems and some parts of the skirt of the dress. It has a petticoat that made the skirt puffed a little. It is just a simple dress.
She placed it on top of the divan in the center of the room and then she pulled another dress.
This next one is a white short dress with short-sleeves. It's embroidered with shades of pink roses surrounded by green leaves. The dress comes with a dark green waist ribbon. And it also have a petticoat underneath.
"This two are the simplest dress in your wardrobe, Your Highness. Which one would you like to wear?" Lily inquired.
Lyma look over the two dresses. She doesn't feel like doing dress up. But she have to.
"Let's go with the peach one."
Lily nodded and then helped Lyma get dressed.
Afterwards Lyma sat down in front of the dresser so Lily can make her hair. Lily started to brush her long black hair carefully.
"Your hair is so shiny, Your Highness." Lily commented as she continued to brush.
Lyma didn't answer instead she stared at her reflection in the dresser's mirror. Another round of sadness and emptiness enveloped her. She sighed.
"Is something bothering you, Your Highness?"
Lyma looked up to Lily's reflection and their eyes met. Lyma noticed the redness underneath the maid's eyes through the mirror. 'It was more red last night.' She thought as memories of what happened after she woke up flashed inside her mind.
"It's nothing."
.
.
.
She fainted for four hours straight yesterday, which was much longer than her previous fainting episodes, which only lasted for an hour or two. And previously, she would occasionally woke up for a couple of seconds before passing out again. But when that didn't happened yesterday, everyone including the royal family and the Smaragd Palace's servants began to worry. This caused great disarray and the whole palace was in a gloomy state.
The atmosphere grow heavier as time trickled by. Everyone become anxious after the two hour mark and she's still unconscious with her fever still not going down.
Fortunately, her fever began to cool down during the third hour mark. Everyone started to calm a bit and the tense atmosphere slowly dispersed. It's as if everyone began to breath again after holding it for a long time.
When Lyma woke up, she was greeted by the commotion happening just beyond the curtains of her bedchamber. Familiar figures are standing and is arguing loudly.
She rubbed her eyes as she sat up of the bed.
"Brother? What's happening?" She called out, her voice croaked.
Instantly everyone turned to her direction. Two figures rapidly walked towards her.
"Inform the King." Gustave instructed Robert who is standing inside the room as he walk up the stairs of Lyma's bedchamber. Robert straightaway did as what he was instructed.
"Padin?" Guerrier asked, relief and pain evident on his voice. Then Lyma was enveloped with the Crown Prince's warm embrace.
"Yes, Brother Crown Prince?" She answered.
"Forgive me. It's my fault."
At that moment, a memory flashed inside Lyma head that made her flinch. But it was a memory that is not hers. It's Pandora's. It was during Pandora's coming of age and Guerrier is hugging her. He is also asking for forgiveness just like how it is right this instance.
'Pandora's memories?' Lyma was surprised at the development.
"Pandora?" It was the Second Prince. He noticed that Lyma was staring blankly and called for her.
Lyma was brought back from her trance and she turned her focus to the prince who is still hugging her and asking for mercy.
Lyma patted his head just like how you patted a crying child.
"It is not brother's fault." She consoled as she rub the prince's back. Soothing him. "You did nothing wrong. Brother, you don't need to be down. I woke up, didn't I?" She said to lighten the mood. But that didn't settled right with the second prince that is still standing in front of them.
"But what if you didn't? What will we do then?" That was the Second Prince stone-cold voice. Lyma look up to him and saw his stoic face, void of any emotions. A sign that he is controlling himself not to flip out.
"You just have to revive me then. Didn't we have the best healers?" She said jokingly which earned a loud protest from both the Princes.
"That is not something you can jest around!"
"I apologize. Will you two calm down? Especially Brother Gustave, you need to cool your head. I understand you worrying, but I'm fine now. You can have Head Healer examine me."
Guerrier pulled away and made way for the Head Healer to come near Pandora. Lyma then reached out her hand to the head Healer. "Please do, Sir Marius."
"Yes, Your Highness." The Head Healer made his way and neared the bed. He took Lyma's arm and examine it.
"Her pulse is normal and her fever seems to be gone now. There is nothing in the wrong with her highness' health. She just need a proper and peaceful rest." The head healer reported.
"See?" Lyma said looking at her brothers. "Thank you, Sir Marius." She said to the Head Healer.
The Head Healer bowed and returned to his earlier position.
At that moment the door burst open and the King emerged.
"Pandora?" The King's voice echoed inside the room.
It only took a couple of strides before the King reached the bedchamber from the door.
"My Princess." Then he hugged her. "How are you feeling?" The King asked releasing her from the hug.
"A little sore on the back. How many hours was I out?" She glanced over her window and saw that it's already dark outside.
"Four hours. You were out for four hours without waking up even for a second." Guerrier answered.
"That's my longest record huh."
"Can you stop taking everything lightly!?" Gustave half-shouted.
"Your brother is correct. This is a serious matter, Pandora" The King reminded her.
"I apologize." Lyma said then smiled.
"Aside from your back is there any other parts that is hurting?" The King inquired.
'My head.' Lyma wanted to tell him.
"Nothing. I'm feeling fine. The head Healer also said that there is nothing wrong with me."
"But you must feel worn out. Your face does not look good."
'It's the stress.' Lyma thought. 'But even if I don't look that good right now I know this face is still beautiful. What is Pandora being the main...' Lyma flinched as her line of thought was suddenly cut-off. 'Main? What was I about to say?'
"Pandora?"
"Yes, Father?"
"Is there something wrong? You're silent."
"Nothing. I was just thinking about...food." Lyma excused.
As if the King remembered something, he stood up.
"Of course! You must be famished. I'll have the kitchen prepare you something." He announced.
He then shifted his attention to the two princes who are standing behind him.
"Let's give the princess some more rest." Then he turned to Guerrier. "Follow me to my office."
"Yes, Father." The Crown Prince answered.
"Rest well, My Princess." The king kissed Lyma's forehead the he walked out of the room.
"I will check with the kitchen then." Gustave said. "I will be taking my leave now. We'll see each other later." Then just like the King, Gustave kissed Lyma's forehead before going out.
"Let's see each other later, Padin." The Guerrier kissed her forehead and followed the king and second prince.
After the three of them left the room, the servants have also left her room. It was when Lyma noticed Lily standing in the far corner.
Lily has her hands clasped in front of her as if holding herself together. It was clear that she's been crying for how red the rim of her eyes were.
"Y-Your Highness." She sobbed as she approached Lyma.
"It's okay Lily. I'm fine."
"Everyone was so worried. I was worried."
"I know. And I want to apologize for always making it difficult for everyone to work here."
"You don't have to, Your Highness. Everyone loves working in this palace. We were just worried about your health."
Lyma smiled. "I understand."
'I am worried about this body's health too.'
Lyma felt distant. She knew this is not her own body. But somehow, even how distant she feels there is a small part of her that regards this body as her own. It's as if slowly her consciousness is owning the body. As if Lyma is taking over Pandora's life.
"Your Highness? Is there something wrong?"
'That question again. How many times have she heard that this night alone?' Lyma wanted to laugh.
"I'm thirsty." She excused.
Lily was quick to reach for the small jar of water on top of the table beside the divan and filled a glass before handing it to Lyma.
"Thanks." And even though she is not really thirsty, Lyma still drank the glass of water that was given to her. After a couple of sips she handed it back to Lily.
"You must be really famished now. I will ask the kitchen to hurry. Please excuse me, Your Highness." Lily bowed and then she went of the room.
And when no one else was around anymore Lyma's tears started to fall.
.
.
.
"I'll just do a one center braid and use a peach ribbon. And for the face, we need to hide the redness of your eyelids." Lyma was pulled back from to the present at Lily's voice. She was not able to catch what the Lily said but she still nodded.
After preparing, Lyma then proceeded to the Main Palace Garden Pavilion. On her way, she ran into Gustave as he is also on his way to the pavilion.
"Brother! Good morning!" Lyma greeted as she walked towards the second prince.
"Good morning, Mushroom. I heard you locked yourself inside your room the whole morning. Father was worried."
"Only father?" Lyma teased.
"Of course I did too. So why did you lock yourself up?"
"It's nothing, Brother. I just need time to digest all the memories that are slowly coming back."
"Hmm." Gustave nodded. "Crown Prince did mentioned about you forgetting all your memories. So they are back? Is it because of the power of the sacred name?"
"I'm not sure about it."
"Then what are you doing after this? Do you want to come by the office? I could use some help. Besides, you're still my secretary."
"Can I take a day off?"
"Why? Are you going somewhere?"
"I'm thinking of going out of the Palace."
'I need to know who I am. Maybe I can find something outside.'
Gustave stop his tracks and turned Lyma. "Going out of the palace?"
"Yes. I will asked Father after the meal."
"I don't think Father will approve of it."
"And why is that?"
"You'll know soon."
"What do you mean?"
Gustave didn't say anything and the two of them walked silently until they reached the Pavilion.
The Main Palace Pavilion is bustling like a crowded market. But the ruckus only came from three people, the three-man parade.
"Pandora!" A loud voice filled the air. He's is waving at Lyma as if he's in a crowd and Lyma cannot spot him.
Pandora walked towards the group of three people that is causing the pavilion to have a cheerful atmosphere.
"Didn't know wild horses get sick easily!" The same loud voice commented.
"You're more of a wild horse than me, Didi." Lyma replied and smiled teasingly at Vida.
Vidia Rabhas, the only son of King Vladimir and the Crown Prince of the Country of Ital.
Because of Pandora's memories that flowed naturally inside her head, Lyma can identify the people in front of her even though it is the first she is seeing them.
"Of course, a wild untamable horse." He said proudly with his right hand clenching in the air and head pointing up with eyes close.
Lyma smiled.
In Pandora's memories Vidia has a loud and bouncy personality. He is the kind of person who's responsible for lightening up the mood. He can be loud and chaotic at times, but he is a friendly and easygoing person. He's one of the first few that Pandora got along with. He's also the leader of the three-man parade group.
She then turned towards the others.
"Greetings, members of the three-man parade."
"Woah! I'll never get used to that name." It was from Avarus.
Avarus Avere Vandestein. The Crown Prince of Krefja Kingdom and like Vidia, he also have a playful personality. He's the second member of the three-man parade group.
Avarus gets along with Vidia so much they can pass as twins.
"You should." Lyma replied smiling.
"Congrats on getting off the sick bed." The third member of the group chimed in. Lyma turned towards the last member of the one-man parade group.
Sidus Albert Ceivre, the third prince of Eunis Kingdom.
"Good to see that you can still handle the two of them, Sid."
"Not gonna lie, it's harder as days goes by." He complained smiling.
Lyma smiled.
Sidus also has playful personality but still cannot compare to the energy of the two and has more sanity. Because of that he's called the Sane Keeper.
"They will not be them if they don't give you headaches, right?"
"Hey! Don't talk like we're not here!" Vidia protested then turned to Avarus. "Right?"
"She's only referring to you, damsel." Avarus teased.
"Damsel?! Want to show who the real one is?" Vidia challenged and the both of them started their grappling show. Lyma only laughed at them.
"Sometimes I regret knowing them." Sidus said then shakes his head. "Let's go to the others?"
Lyma nodded and the both of them approached the remaining members of the Beta Battaglia.
"Princess." Remissus greeted then kissed Lyma's backhand.
"Remy!"
'The cinnamon roll of the group.' Lyma thought. 'He's just like how he was in Pandora's memories.'
Remissus Erleswen is the Crown Prince of Reafian Country and is also Pandora's cousin. His father is the brother of Pandora's mother. Remy is a shy and aloof person but he still gets along with the other members of the Beta Battaglia.
"Greetings, Your Highness." Vora greeted.
"Greetings, Prince Vora."
Aside from Remy, Vora Gulla Vandestein is also a silent type. He is Avarus' younger twin brother. But he is the complete opposite of her brother.
Though he has silent personality, he's different from Remy for Vora is more of a silent and mysterious while Remy is just plain shy.
The remaining two members of the Beta Battaglia is currently speaking with Gustave. The Vice-captain, Vanus Silvestre Ceivre, is the strategist and has a confident and proud personality. He is the brain of the group. He is level-headed and is always fair. Though sometimes he burst because of the members of the three-man parade. He is Sidus' older brother and is the Second Prince of Eunis Kingdom.
Lastly is the Captain, Malus Sebastian Vulpecula. He is the kind of person that when you see him you instantly know he is someone you can depend on. He extrudes the 'leader aura'. He can be serious and he also be playful.
"Then that would be enough for now. Let's discuss it some other time." It was Gustave's signaling that the talk with the Captain and Vice-Captain is done. Lyma then slowly approached them.
Pandora don't have much memories about the two. And in Lyma's current state where the memories are still incomplete, she is nervous meeting them.
"Greetings, Your Highness." She bowed slightly and greeted.
"Greetings, Princess." Came their reply.
And when Lyma looked up, the first thing her eyes landed on are a pair of green and blue eyes. Lyma was taken aback and blink a couple of times.
'Unmatched eyes. They are...' She felt familiarity with the person's unmatched eyes. But she don't know why.
"Beautiful." She whispered.
He chuckled. "I heard you just got your memories back. And I can see it's the truth by the look you are having now. It is just like when you first saw my eyes."
'His voice is deep and manly!' Lyma can't help but to appreciate his voice.
"I apologize for acting foolish." Lyma looked away.
'What the heck did I just do? Did I just stammered?' Blush crept on Lyma's ears.
"Really now. The wild horse is apologizing? Guess miracles do happen." He teased cocking his left brow up.
"Well...there will always be first times." Then Lyma looked up again.
'Woah. Those eyes are darn beautiful.' She got captivated again.
She don't know if she herself is fixated to those unmatched eyes or it has something to do with Pandora.
'He said I have the same reaction as Pandora. So maybe Pandora have eye fetish?'
And to escape the situation, Lyma turn to the other side where the Vice-Captain is standing.
"Greetings, Your Highness." She said bowing slightly. She don't know much of Pandora's relationship with him so Lyma opted to stay formal.
"Greetings." He replied flatly.
'Stoic as always.'
His face have no significant expression so Lyma doesn't know how to proceed. So she just smiled and then turn to her brother.
'I need a scapegoat.'
"Brother, I remembered I have something to ask you."
Then she pulled him away from the crowd.
"What is it?"
Came Gustave's question once they were out of hearing range.
Lyma does not have anything in particular that she wanted to ask. She just want to have some distance from Vanus. She don't know why or maybe it is because of his stoic face and guarded aura that Lyma wants to be out of his range.
"What is it, Pandora?" Gustave repeated the question because of Lyma's silence.
'Right. A question.' Lyma look around briefly and a sudden realization hit her. Someone's missing from the crowd.
Then she remembered something Lily said this morning.
'How could I forgotten about that!?'
"I heard brother Crown Prince went to the boarders. Why?" Lyma asked.
Lily was not able to know the reason why Guerrier was sent out. And Lyma suspects it has to do with what happened yesterday.
Gustave's face dimmed at the question and it took him a couple of seconds to answer.
"Yes. Crown Prince was sent to the boarders to inspect. Father decided to have it earlier than usual."
"Why? Is there something wrong with the boarders? Are there attacks recently?"
Though the Kingdoms are in harmony from each other, there are a couple of groups that wants to cause chaos. They would raid border towns and steal from their food storage. Sometimes it would be severe to the point where townspeople were killed.
"It's best to ask Father than me."
'What?' Lyma can sense that Gustave have something he is hiding and it somehow connected to Guerrier being sent out. Her initial suspicions that Guerrier being sent out because of what happened yesterday was wrong. "Why can't you tell me?"
"Pandora, please." Gustave's expression is tight. And so Lyma did not pushed more.
"Fine. I'll ask Father myself."
At that point a chorus of greetings was heard as the King arrived. Everyone then seated to their designated seats.
"I was not able to welcome you yesterday because something urgent happened and got occupied by my responsibilities this morning. So I hope this welcome meal is not that late." The King stated.
"Let's start." The servants served the first meal at the king's signal. "Dig in, everyone."
He then turned to Lyma's direction. "It's good that you can be with us. How are you feeling?"
"I am fine. No need to worry, father."
"That's good." He nodded and took a sip from his glass.
Then he turned to Gustave and both of them started to talk about politics. From time to time the king would also ask the other princes present about international relations and affairs. And even though Lyma knows about what they are talking she still remained silent.
'How will I ask if they are so busy with politics?' She wanted to sigh but stopped herself. She don't want to be disrespectful.
"Penny for your thoughts, Princess?" Remy whispered. He was seated beside Lyma.
"It's nothing." Lyma smiled trying to assure him.
"You can always talk to me." He tried to coax her. And because of the influence of Pandora's memories that Lyma actually gave in to him. It was like your niece or nephew asking for the candy you are holding.
'Maybe Remy knows.' She thought before answering. "You know brother Guerrier was sent to the borders, right?"
Remy nodded.
"So, do you also know why?"
"Is it because the king ordered him to?"
"Yes, that's true. But it's still early to do the border inspections. I'm just worried if something happened."
"I'm not certain. No news have arrived about the rebels. In fact the borders are peaceful these couple of months."
"So there was no attack of some sort?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
'Then why send brother?' Lyma's suspicion just grew bigger. 'I have to ask father.'
"Thanks, Remy"
"My pleasure, Princess."
Then Lyma turned to the King's direction and just in time he also look sideways and caught her looking. "What is it, Pandora?"
Lyma adjusted her body so she is facing the King more properly. This movement made the King curious of what Lyma would say.
"Father, why is brother Crown Prince sent to the borders for inspections so early?"
By Lyma's question everyone at the table obviously stopped their movements for a split second before continuing.
The King sighed deeply. "Alas! Time really is of essential. We can no longer eat in peace without minding this issue, are we?"
Lyma's brow furrowed. 'Issue?'
"I was planning on telling you after the meal but I guess we don't need to wait anymore." The King turned to the head butler and ordered the servants to leave the area and have knights stationed at a certain radius from the Pavilion.
'The issue seems to be a big one.' She thought and when she turn around to look at her other meal companions, they don't seem a little bit fazed about it. Lyma's curiosity increases as she saw this.
"Before I begin, I want to ask how far you have remembered now."
"I cannot say I can remember everything now. But I remember the most of it. Do you have a particular memory you want me to remember, Father?"
"Yes. The day of your coming of age. Do you remember what happened?"
Lyma instantly stilled at the mention of that day. And the room somehow felt colder and heavier than it was before.
Way back when Lyma does not remember anything about Pandora's past she is eager to know them. But when memories started to flow in her brain, she can no longer say the same. Especially the memory about Pandora's coming of age.
The moment the memory flashed inside her, a mix of different emotions swirl inside her chest. The most dominant one being fear. That's when Lyma thought that the Minister of Defense's description of what happened is justifiable. That day was chaotic.
"Yes I do, Father." Her voice was visibly tight and controlled.
The King nodded. "Do you remember the details?"
Lyma's chest felt heavy. She knew what the King wanted her to remember in particular during that day. It was that moment.
"Is it about...my...what my hands did, Father?" It was hard to say those words for Lyma. She can still feel how Pandora felt that day as if she was the one present.
The fear. It's the fear that consumed Pandora's body. And now the same fear is slowly enveloping her.
"Yes."
Lyma curled her hands. 'So it was about that day.' She swallowed an invisible lump in her throat.
"What about it, Father."
Cold sweat is forming on Lyma's back. She can feel sipping through her skin and she shivered.
"The curse of death. Corrosion."
After the king uttered the word it became a trigger for Pandora's memories of that day to explode inside Lyma's head making her clench her hands and her face pale. The gush of painful memories made her wanted to vomit.
'I can't do this. This is...This too much.' Lyma abruptly stood up.
"Please excuse me." And then she bolted out from the pavilion.
Her feet brought Lyma back to her Palace. But instead of heading towards her bedroom, she turn towards the garden. There was a small path that leads to the big bushes that separates the garden. And because the bushes are thick, it has a lot of space inside that could be used as a hiding spot.
Lyma curled herself inside, shaking. She cannot explain exactly but her body is feeling so much fear at the moment.
'How did Pandora survived after that?' What she's feeling can be compared to being swallowed whole by a black abyss. Then you are left all by yourself in a black space. No one except you. No entrance. No exit. Nothing. Lyma wanted to scream.
As time trickled, her body started to calm down. And when Lyma thought she was fine, she crawled out of the bush and back to the garden. That's when she saw Lily turning her head left and right as if looking for something...for someone. And when she spotted Lyma standing by the corner, she immediately approached her.
"Your Highness! I was worried sick." Lily grabbed both her hands. "How are you feeling, Your Highness?" She can clearly see her pale face.
Lyma wanted to smile and reassure Lily. But even though she can no longer feel the 'fear' she still not in the state where she can fake being fine. As a matter of fact, when Lyma saw Lily her chest started to feel heavy again and she wanted to cry.
'It was painful.'
"Lily." One word. It was enough for Lily to understand. She immediately hugged Lyma tightly.
"Go on, Your Highness. Please let it all out."
As if on cue, Lyma's tears started to fall and she sobbed in Lily's embrace.
(Edited)