"Oi! Love! Did the archduchess let ye out early today?" a voluptuous older woman with crooked teeth and brown curly hair slid a glass of milk down the bar counter. On her right hand, she only had three fingers. Thunderous applause had just ended a bittersweet song.
Its young singer was of humble appearance. She had a matte of unkempt black hair, a minuscule stature, and a golden cotton dress of such low quality as to resemble pyrite. Yet her song carried the sorrow of a thousand spinsters.
The dirty, destitute patrons eagerly repeated the song in a half chant, half wail throughout the crowded bar, as if trying to recreate the magic. But, as broken hearts often fought one another, they could not keep in sync, find the tune, or even remember the words. The proprietress, the voluptuous older woman, yelled at them to shut up, and they listened. They knew better than to argue with a top Courageous Companion.
"Come on, Mrs. Simmons, you know that Florence would never let me leave the house." A 16-year-old Ravenna Springfield replied. In truth, she was a street urchin. She seemed pleased that she could captivate a room full of drunkards with just her voice.
"As much as I hate to say this, love, ye should listen to your sister sometimes." Mrs. Simmons spoke with a thick gottish accent.
"But I'm protected by you, aren't I? Leyforette is perfectly safe now. Now that men like Mr. Simmons run things."
"Love, please. My husband may be a loveable brute, but that's all he is. The royal police are useless too."
"Then who keeps the peace around here?"
"Me, love."
"Really? Even though you're behind the counter all day?"
"Especially because I'm behind the counter all day."
Ravenna doubted the validity of her assertion but knew better than to question it.
"Love, I keep the peace because, as long as I can keep the Armed Companions drinking to your sweet little voice, I am the most powerful woman in Loranisburg."
"Even more powerful than the queen?"
"What can royalty do? When Graverobber comes for them?"
"Isn't Graverobber dead?"
"You're right, love, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret." Mrs. Simmons leaned closer. It was safe now to divulge secrets since the bar was rowdy again. Telling drunks to shut up is like swim-herding sharks while you have an open wound. "Graverobber isn't dead, but only we Leyforette Companions know this fact."
Ravenna's romantic imagination overtook rationality. To her, Graverobber was a young and dashing masked avenger who rescued maidens and smote evildoers in their villainous lairs. He was the paragon of justice that all should aspire to be. Mrs. Simmons silently sighed at her young protégé, who lost herself in fantasy. Mrs. Simmons knew that Graverobber was a bitter and crippled old man, one who hated the world and forgave none of its mistakes.
After a while, Ravenna pondered, "Why did you tell me this?"
"Because nobody would believe ye, Love. It's much better to have an assassin that no one expects."
Ravenna was suddenly more interested in another infamous Companion. "What about Buccaneer? Is there nothing that you could do about him?"
"The Nulmar Armed Companions have wanted to punish him, Love. But none of us could put together enough boats to catch the rat bastard. Oh, what money would we pay for the Companion Slayer right now!" The proprietress reminisced, as she had participated in a celebration when Marshal Desmond Canzones, the infamous Companion Slayer, smashed Bucanneer at the naval battle of Kraken Point. Catching wind of this, Buccaneer had the commoners who arranged the festivities lined up and shot.
Buccaneer was, after all, the pirate king of the Paradise Islands. He followed very few Companion protocols since he still mustered the largest naval fleet in the world. His Paradise Companions slaughtered and pillaged as they pleased.
"Is it true that the Armed Companions have magical artifacts? If so, what are Buccaneer's?"
"I'm afraid so, Love. I've never met Buccaneer myself, but I've heard that he has a tri-cornered hat that could summon lightning." Mrs. Simmons tore off a hat from a passed-out drunk. She made gestures with the fingers on her whole hand that imitated a mighty storm.
"That's so boring," state a bemused Ravenna.
"Alright, times up, Love. Go sing another song!"
Just as Ravenna was about to get up, the bar's front door burst open, and an earthly officer of the royal police entered. He effortlessly carried a bruised up and unconscious Mr. Simmons. The bar's ambiance turned sinister as half of the patrons went to hide while the other half stood up and brandished their weapons.
"I am here on my authority as an officer of the law. This man was pursuing and abducting Lorian citizens. What have you to say about his actions?" The officer yelled, stroking his great beard while indulging in a slow and drawn-out country accent.
"Careful, Love. Ye run and hide now. That's Darius of the Crone's cult. He's a very nasty man."
"I'm not scared of him," said Ravenna with dignified aplomb.
Mrs. Simmons was about to gesture to some of her men to carry Ravenna to safety when a feminine voice began to speak arrogantly. "What about our treaty, Darius? As I recall, the royal police have no jurisdiction over what we choose to do. Now, you don't think we'll just let you walk away? We don't forgive those who hurt one of ours."
"And who are you, lassie?" he was already one foot out the door when her provocation turned him around.
"Call me Florist; now, let me make a floral arrangement; out of you."
"I ain't scared of you, lassie."
The feminine voice behind a newspaper lowered it to reveal a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties. She had thick-framed glasses, deep red lips, and auburn hair. She was serene like the queen from an old storybook.
"Is it true that you don't bleed, sir?"
"ye"
"That's all I needed to hear" Florist reached into her purse and threw a miniature cactus. Meanwhile, the wizened officer struggled to equip his baton and pistol. At once, the rest of the regular companions sat down, grabbed their drinks again, and started cheering. Even the patrons who fled the bar are now rubbernecking at the action. Miraculously, upon impact, the cactus grew two and a half meters tall and began punching Darius like a skilled boxer. Darius yowled in pain and then fired two shots at Florist, who hid behind the massive, impenetrable frond of a lily pad she suddenly grew from her purse. Quietly, Ravenna snuck behind him. She hit him in the head with a bottle of prestige wine. True to his word, Darius did not bleed, yet his dignity was murdered as he was tossed through the front windows by the cactus. Grasping vines from the surrounding ivy quickly reached down from the walls. They bounded Darius to themselves and suspended him like a tavern sign.
"Let me down, you nasty wren...." as finally, the ivy gagged Darius in the mouth.
Florist casually strolled over and sat by Ravenna at the bar. Ravenna was star-struck. The young woman who had a faint resemblance to her boring sister had proven to be the most remarkable individual Ravenna had ever met.
"Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Lady Florist, Sir Francis Prickly, and his lady wife, Liliana Paddington!" Mrs. Simmons announced at the top of her lungs to the undying affection of everyone. The cheering and applause continued uproariously for what seemed like ages. Meanwhile, the cactus bowed, and the lily pad curtsied with its frond.
"You know.... we Companions and the Crone's Cult never got along. You're such a cute little songstress... Ravenna, was it?" slurred Florist, stealing Ravenna's glass of milk and then pinching Ravenna's cheeks, like an estranged aunt doting on her niece.
"You're amazing! I had no idea magic was real!" Ravenna replied as Florist wrapped her arm around her, swaying and gently mouthing the words of Ravenna's lonely little song. Ravenna wondered when was the last time someone held her like this.
"Huh? Oh, it is, but you can't surmise it from me. I am just using Companion technology... but only I can use it. That Darius, on the other hand, is cursed; cursed to fight until his mind gives out." Florist tapped on her floral hairpin, and the cactus and lily pad returned to their miniature states and hopped back into her purse. She took the pin off and showed it to Ravenna. "It's called Bios..., and it's the source of my power... Anyways I'm going back to my boutique."
And like that, Florist left, staggering like a flame in the wind. She was so drunk that she completely forgot about Darius, who would probably hang until someone decided he had enough.
It was ten more minutes before poor Mr. Simmons would wake up. When he did, he began rambling excitedly and incoherently about his day. Finally, Mrs. Simmons told him to calm down and start from the beginning.
"Okay, so this morning, I went to make sure an unsanctioned batch of lunarfritz would make it to Loranisburg safely. The order had come anonymously but from high up. It had rained the night before, and the idiot coppers escorting it had fallen off the bridge at Fishhook village. So I decided to do the delivery myself. I sent Gerald and Kent to fish out the drowning coppers, but none of us could dislodge the wagon in the river. All of a sudden, this spanking new Armed Companion shows up out of nowhere claiming to be... Duelist of the Nulmars. Now I started panicking because... claims to be... working for... Graverobber." Gotti Simmons started choking a little.
"Breath, honey, breath." Mrs. Simmons insisted.
"He was a thirty-odd-year-old man that could've passed for a local fishmonger. Now, the only people who knew Graverobber was alive were us. For a moment, I had thought he had come to kill us, but then I remembered Graverobber would never send someone else to execute a sentence. Instead, he helped us dig the lunarfritz out of the river. But he insisted on delivering it himself. Something else about him frightened me, so I tailed him out of curiosity.
Gotti Simmons took another deep breath. "Suddenly, we were accosted by this lone copper who must have also been tailing him. The next thing I knew, he beat us all up. The copper threw us in the trunk of my car and drove us here. I passed out before entering the bar."
"What a strange day you've had, my dear. Come, now you're safe. No one hurts Margo Simmons's family in Leyforette." Mrs. Simmons embraced her husband lovingly.
Gotti Simmons's eyes suddenly lit up in fresh horror. "Oh, sweet Micashion! I know why Duelist scared me so."
Ravenna listened intently. She wondered what sort of magical artifact that Duelist held. Nobody noticed that Darius had quietly slipped away.
"The way he could make one fear rabbits, the way he could sell sand in the desert, that was the ghost of the Companion Slayer, but where were his scars?"