Hi, the loss of my life..
After 3 years, we can't be more than just a bestfriend.
How are you? Actually, it's so hard to tell everything about you.
It's been 1 month after my worst heart break because of you, but everytime I open it, it still hurts, I got tremor, my heart feels so tight, my body feels the pain so hard.
But, you are good, right?
Last month, we walked at our iconic place for the last time. We were happy back then. We held each other's hands for the first time and maybe that will be the last time. At least I ever held your hand, isn't it?
But, I never thought the end of us was so cruel and full of pain, tears, and something I can't say bcs that's so heartbreaking.
You asked me to be your girlfriend. How dare you say such things? but, the next day.. you said you don't even remember it. But, I forgive you.. again
The last two days, we were just fine. But, you twt something that said you want her to give bday long text for you. That slap me in front of my face. It's so hard. It's so hard just to breathe normally.
You know… its just two days after our confession. But, you don't give a fuck about it, meanwhile I'm crying over everything we have been through.
I do regret wasting time to love you so deep. I lost my self, I got gerd everytime I remember you. I can't tell you to someone. It's just make my heart break again.
But, you did great in everything, include break my heart. You know? I never try to block someone's socmed, but I did. I blocked all of your social media. I hate you. I do hate you. Something that I can't say, when all I can do for revenge is just cursed you. You will get the worst regret for losing me, you will get the hardest miss of me with my genuineness love, you will see me everywhere but nowhere to be found bcs I blocked all of your access to me, and you will always love me so deeply until the day you die. You will never get someone better than me. I cursed you.
"I still hate you, but all I can do is crying bcs I'm just a girl, and sometimes I still missing you, eventhough I know it's so hard. I know I will get there and moved on. I will forget that you existed."
"You will regret everything, I swear. the warmth, genuineness, love, care, and every memories I gave to you will keep on haunting you."
"now birthday text is so sensitive wkwk bcs he said what he want the most tbh is "long text from her and he didn't get it this year", meanwhile I gave him bday long text, and he didn't appreciate it. when he had forget my bday, I surprised him in his bday, what a foolish."
"did you know how I felt unalive since may? but you broke me instead of hug me, thats one of the reasons I choose to let you go."
"I would always try my best to save us, even after everything you make me went through. but, your last twt… it slaps me so hard until I can't even stand for myself… now, I try my best to block ur access in my life, so do I in your life. You're that bastard."
"Everytime I thought abt ur twt that night, I suddenly realize that when I said I love you, my one and only boy best friend.. but you justt act like you're a dumb ass who disrespect my pure love for you."
"I stalk your last crush and now all I can do is delete instagram, cause I still can't handle myself and the fact that I'm insecure again just bcs of her. I do hate you and I do remember this permanent damage you did to me."
"you always did great to make me down and insecure"
"Ikr I'm so unstable, if only you know I've tried to always think positively for the sake of us several times. but, I'm only a normal person and I'm so human sometimes. I get tired, but yesterday was so hard, I can't handle, and I give up on us, I do let you go this time and I committed to not unblock you until I perfectly heal from this painful heart break"
The last chapter is.. for the sake of my life, I will not regret to losing my precious bestfriend. I did love you so deep, but I choose myself right now. God please help me… Hope I will heal