*Strong language and sexual situations*
Aoto Hoshino didn't know exactly when this curious habit started.
Like any normal child, he'd been warned of the dangers of crossing the street before looking both ways. In fact, being hit by a car was his biggest fear in grade school. He lived in a busier town due to its proximity to the city, so cars often sped past at a moment's notice, honking as they drove close enough to run you into the pavement. Even so, whenever he expressed his fears to his family, he became the punchline to dinner jokes. Now, his mother begged him to carry that same fear again years later.
"What's the worst that could happen," he'd ask, crossing a street fearlessly as usual. A loud car honk usually drowned his mother's response out when they talked in the mornings. Death, they both thought. Unlike Mrs. Hoshino, Aoto didn't fear nor mind meeting death. At least not anymore.
To compromise, he changed his departure time from home to coincide with a lull in traffic. He also planned on moving out that year and knew his mother would be more likely to say yes if he appeared more "responsible." Initially he missed the thrill and symphony of car horns from his daring exploits in the morning.
Leaving fifteen minutes earlier really does make a difference, he'd thought to himself the first week of his new schedule. But over time he grew to like the otherworldly stillness that seemed to take over the street on his way to classes. Sometimes he nearly forgot that he was headed to school until the whispers started.
Even students from neighboring regions knew about him. Retrospectively, his reckless behavior from those few months gave people plenty more to discuss than the initial incident. The irony of it all, which almost drove Aoto mad, was that nothing even happened. But Aoto had wanted something to happen. So, he didn't stop the rumors that circulated, and his choice of prey was too much of a coward to defend himself, much less Aoto. He escaped and Aoto soon understood he'd been a buffer far more than he'd realized.
Boys left and right harassed him into senior year of high school. That wasn't so bad seeing as Aoto wasn't a pushover nor weak. However he caught a cruel teacher's eye. That was the tipping point for Aoto; not only did he start to fear something more than cars, he realized he liked being desired by a man.
That year, one day after school close to winter break, this teacher cornered him, and it would be the first time (though not the last) that Aoto found himself in a sticky situation. He knew if he didn't do something in that moment, he wouldn't be able to control what came later. He managed to escape and all he could think was: I need to lose it, and fast.
Finding a gay bar wasn't as hard as he'd thought; he located a discrete one only ten minutes from his house a few days later. His stunt bought him some time to find suitable options and the look of the place made it seem like it had paid off.
The interior was dark, with dimly lit chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. There was a bar in the very back of the room with various bottles of sake backlit by blue lights. There weren't that many people there at the time—the sun hadn't even begun to set, but this was the only time Aoto could easily sneak over, his cover being that he was at cram school. A bartender stood off center from the display of alcohol. He was tall with dyed blond hair that shined like gold. He looked up as Aoto approached and his light eyes glinted with humor, but also confusion.
"You know where you are?" His gruff voice sent chills down Aoto's spine and blood immediately rushed downstairs. The man I'm looking for.
"Yes, I do." Aoto didn't bother looking around, prey already in sight. He pinned the bartender under his gaze. "Are you a top?"
The bartender's large hands fumbled with the glass they'd been holding. He managed to save it from shattering on the ground before placing it down. "You can't be serious kid."
"Look, can you do me or not? I'm already prepped."
"… I'm thirty years old, kid; way too old for you."
That's not a no, and better him than Sensei. Aoto tried his best to look charming as he leaned across the bar. "I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend. We don't even have to go to a hotel, we can just go to the back." He lifted the crimson tie the bartender wore. "What do you say?"
The man stared back at him, and Aoto smiled for real. He knew he'd say yes to his request. Who wouldn't?
Aoto was right and found himself in the backroom so fast it was almost as if they teleported. The bartender pulled at his tie, and his muscles bulged slightly with the movement. Excitement and fear warmed Aoto's belly and he felt himself get wet.
"You can call me Toma-san." Aoto didn't get the chance to formally introduce himself before cool lips melded with his. It wasn't his first kiss (some of the more daring bullies had seen to that), but Aoto vowed he'd remember this day as full of firsts.
"You're shit at kissing kid," Toma laughed in the kiss before trailing his lips to Aoto's neck. "So pale…"
Toma's deep voice dipped another octave and Aoto could feel himself respond. "I'll try not to leave any long-lasting marks."
Aoto didn't try to hide the noises escaping the back of this throat as Toma's lips left a trail of fire everywhere they touched. When he got to his belt, Aoto tried to stop him by pushing his head back. "L-let me do it for you."
"It's okay. Relax." Toma took him in his mouth again and began doing something with his tongue that had Aoto responding in no time. "I'll take care of everything."