Recently I have been thinking about this for a while. no matter how hard I try I keep giving up no matter how well I start I always give up when I see people surpassing me. I don't try yet I always expected myself to be better. its truly very sad excuse of an existence. I feel as If I am a failure no at least people can remember those who failed the fear of being forgotten breaks my heart how ever this is the truth I wasted my life and all the chances of better experience in life.

how ever I feel more broken I feel tired and I want to die because of the amount of meaningless expectations, such a useless excuse like me how can have any expectations from this trashcan of the man. this feeling of meaningless guilt breaks me, I feel regret for everything I have done and in way I don't understand it.

you know at first I didn't like it when some women wish for all the men to die or be erased from this world but now I kinda agree with it because this way I too can die or be erased after all I have no desire to live anymore I know if you are a men and reading this you may say "you want someone to kill us all so you could die as well. are you crazy?" and the answer is yes. you know one for all and all for one but outside of that miss input joke I really don't know.

I don't understand humans.

all I know is that this story will be about me learning what ever I can and see what is humanity humanity.