Chereads / Hemocyanin - DISCONTINUED / Chapter 4 - Amorphous

Chapter 4 - Amorphous

It took a long time for Blair to calm herself down. She would stop crying for a bit, only for a stray thought to put her back into the loop of self-destructive thoughts. She sat there with Jellybean in her arms for a while, unable to process everything that happened properly.

Eventually, she was able to calm herself down enough to move from her place on the floor and find something to take her mind off of things. She needed to distract herself until she could think about it with a clearer head. Her eyes fell on her laptop and she decided to spend her day off being a couch potato.

"Looks like it's cat video time, huh Jellybean?"

Jellybean made a sound that was vaguely like a 'meow' and Blair chuckled. After about 30 minutes of watching really dumb cats react to random things, Blair ended up laughing so hard someone would be able to hear it through the walls if anyone were there. Unfortunately, at some point, all the cat video compilations started to repeat the same clips and she had to find something else to do.

Now that she was feeling a bit better, she decided to approach the clothing situation again. While the suit was a part of her body, her form wasn't as static as it used to be. She told Jellybean to close his eyes for a bit and he dutifully turned off his camera and turned around. She picked up the hoodie that she left on the floor, as well as a shirt and some pants. She tried to focus on the feeling of her skin and recalled cross-sections she saw in biology textbooks to help the process along. For a while her cells were confused, and she felt pins and needles all over her body as they tried to decipher her commands. It was almost as if they didn't quite remember how a human body was supposed to be structured. She gritted her teeth at that thought and wondered why. Surely a species that was meant to copy another lifeform on the cellular level should be able to remember the right structure? Perhaps the conditions of her infection caused a problem. Whatever that problem was, she was grateful for it as it was probably the reason she was still herself.

When her hands returned to a normal un-gloved state, she sighed in relief. Before long, she was able to plop down on her bed in a comfy outfit. Of course, this one was absorbed just like the suit was, but she had the feeling that it would be easier to change like that in the future. Now that she was decent and didn't look like her skin was melting, she told Jellybean he could look.

"So, how do you feel about movies?" She asked the little robot. He gave her two thumbs up. She got up and went to the lounge in the barracks to grab a quick bowl of popcorn. Popcorn didn't have any nutritional value to begin with, so she didn't expect to be disappointed by that. She plopped down on her bed with a large bowl and her computer, and she put on an old superhero series. It was a lot more fun than it was relaxing, but she didn't really care. It had been a while since she had a good movie binge.

It was a couple of hours past noon by the time Blair decided to get up and stretch. The day/night cycle on Kypros was a few hours longer than on Earth, but nothing passed the time like an action movie marathon. She decided to go over to the greenhouse for a little bit. The walk would be nice, and she needed to get out of the small confines of her room.

She told Jellybean to turn around again as she 'changed' into her suit again. The process was much easier this time, so she changed back and forth a few times as a test. As weird as it was, it was comforting to know that it wouldn't be such a hassle next time she wanted to dress a bit more comfortably. With that out of the way, she grabbed her helmet by the door and led Jellybean outside.

The greenhouse was in the center of the labs so that the windows all around had a view inside. It was really great for keeping up morale, but Blair always preferred to look at it from the inside. There were few flowering plants because most of the plants were for food, but there were some flowers in the center that Clark planted to look nice rather than provide food.

Once she arrived in the greenhouse, Blair sat down in front of a relatively small oleander bush and listened for any people inside. While she didn't see anyone, she wanted to be safe. The only sounds she could hear were the dripping of the different watering systems, the air filtration, and the soft whirring that came from Jellybean's machinery. Good. She steeled herself for a hard conversation, but she knew she still had to work through her thoughts.

"Jellybean, did McReady tell you what happened to me?"

He nodded sadly. He didn't know exactly what it all meant, but he knew that Blair was hurt and confused and in a lot of danger.

"I don't know what to do," she sighed. "I'm a monster in human skin, but I still think like myself. How do I live like this?" She looked at her hands, and Jellybean took one in his own hands. His hands were dwarfed by hers, but she got the message. At least, she thought she did. She wasn't exactly the best at recognizing social cues, and it didn't help that Jellybean was nonverbal, but his body language was surprisingly reassuring. "I just- this all feels so wrong. I can't explain it."

"I really screwed up. I should have known there was something odd about that specimen."

Jellybean shook his head at her and beeped disapprovingly.

"I mean, I guess it was hard to tell. I look normal, don't I? But still, I can't help but wish none of this happened."

He nodded as if he understood and reached up to give her a hug. She hugged him back, but it wasn't as desperate as earlier. Blair remembered how nice and normal it felt to eat popcorn, wear normal clothes, and now to receive a hug. Perhaps she could adjust to her new way of life.

"It will be hard, but I think I can get used to this. I don't know what's going to happen when I go back to earth, but for now, I just gotta take it one day at a time." Blair smiled and Jellybean cheered with a fist in the air. "Now, let's get you back to your 'mom'. I have some stuff to do."