I HUG HER goodbye.
"I'll be there for Thanksgiving," she persists rubbing my back.
I let go. "No, it won't be the same."
Uncle Kimmy hugs her goodbye, too as he says as he gives her the house things, "Good luck. I'm so proud of you, Luvbug."
He jesters me away as I take one. More. Glance. Gone. I sit next to him in the "U-Haul".
"Why can't she come with us?"
"Because, Kid, she wants a life with her baby. Her own life."
I know, I want to say but I here in the truck silent. I flip my phone out as I look at the picture of me and all of my friends smiling. I want to cry. My life's gone. Everything and everyone I know is gone. I remember Esmerelda taking me to the mall last week, my last week there. I remember Ty Sju's sixteenth birthday party. It had balloons, pink, red, and blue streams hanging on the ceilings of her house, it had an indoor hot tub, we went for a ride in a roofless car. Everyone was so drunk so I had to drive. It was fun the last few weeks here. But, I also remember Esmerelda crying, in sixth grade, because a boy in our PE class rejected her. I also remember the day when she almost got arrested for being framed for something her neighbors did.
The next morning, I wake up starring at the ceiling hoping yesterday was all a dream. But a harsh slash of reality hits me when Uncle Kimmy checks on us. Amilla and Natalie are watching tv on the other bed they slept in. Aunt Lucy and her kids got here a little after us last night. The ceilings in our room are nice, though.
"Who are you girls holding up?"
"Good," they say.
"How are you?" he darts his question towards me as the other two girls look at me. Amilla has dark hair that's up to her shoulders, while Natalie has red hair and freckles like her mom. Both of the girls are skinny and the same as their brother Nickolis. He has brown hair and a thin frame that holds baggy clothes all the time. I continue to lie on my bed starring at the ceiling as he dishes out the breakfast that he got from the indoor dining area.
"Come on, Indiana, eat," he persists.
"If she doesn't want it, can I eat it?" Amilla's country accent fills my ears.
Uncle Kimmy says, "No, Amilla. It's hers. She'll eat it. She'll come around."
He closes the door as Amilla grabs for my plate, "You so spoiled."
"Yeah," Natalie adds, "If I did that to my mama, she smacks me to next Thursday."
"Nah, more like Friday..."
I block out their conversation as I hear a roar of an engine. I shoot up. Wake up, Indiana. I say to myself. Wake up. I look at the bruise on my left arm from where I pinched myself from this horrible nightmare. I run into Uncle Kimmy's, Aunt Lucy's, and Nickolis's hotel room. Aunt Lucy is lifting weights, Nickolis is watching her lift them evidently waiting his turn, and Uncle Kimmy's...
Lucy stops her weight lifting, "The hell you want?!"
"Where's Uncle Kimmy?"
"Uncle Kim's outback in the truck," Nickolis adds harshly.
I run outside past the spa, past the indoor pool, past the hot tub, and past everything else that seems to be bothering me all to get to my uncle. I run out to the U-Haul truck out of breath feeling like I might pass out. Wanting all of this to just...go away. I wish it was just the four of us again, like normal. Just like it is supposed to be; Uncle Kimmy, Cassidy, her baby, and me. No one else.
He hops out of the truck as he notices me, "Hey kid, what you up to?"
I sob into his arms.
"It's going to be okay, kid, I promise."
I rip myself from his arms as I take out some of my things.
"What are you doing?"
I don't answer him, I just continue digging hopefully I dig far enough so that I can bury myself so, so deep underneath everything; cold dead, and invisible to the human eye.