{Song Jun's point of view}
"I will not say I missed you Xian ge because for missing a person we love, we need to forget about them for some time but there was never a single moment when I forgot about you.
You were always there in my mind and in my heart! It was impossible for me to forget you even for a single moment!!"
That day I was waiting for him on the aisle to come and fetch me. We were going to meet each other after 10 years! Yes, a long time, really a long time which I survived without him, even I don't know how?
Believe me, everyone! When you wait for someone, even a single minute also feels like a year and I waited to meet him for 10 years! It was like a century or more than centuries for me!
My heart was pounding fast, so wanton that I almost felt like if it kept on going like this, it would explode inside and will come breaking all my rib cages. The thought of meeting him after our wretched parting. I was trying to keep calm but to failed miserably!
My face was as usual passive. A bitch face as they all call it but people still love me with that face or I can say they can die to get just one closer look of it!
I was waiting for him desperately. It was the first time in the last ten years that I came back home. My home but everything has changed here, like a whole new world immersed in front of my eyes, taking a new shape!
My eyes were constantly moving to every corner of the airport! The feeling of love crawling inside my whole body giving me small small electronic currents all over my body!
I put on my mask, hoodie and goggles. Yes, I needed to hide my identity here and for my privacy, I needed to hide everywhere I go! I was the face of a famous boy band! People, especially girls, were after me. Yes, boys were also equally mad for me for always running after me for pictures, videos, selfies and sometimes for touch.
I hated it. I hated it the most when someone used to touch me, but what can I do? I was the one who chose to be in this field leaving my father's flourishing business. Now it was inevitable to not get touched or pictured every time I moved in public.
But after putting on a mask, hoodie and hiding my identity I saw a person out there with whom I was in love was getting proposed to by a girl and on top of it by a very beautiful girl. I hated it, saying that the girl was so beautiful but I was never that sort of person who couldn't see something which is gorgeous for everyone's eyes!
In front of my eyes, he was smiling pleasantly looking at the girl, who was kneeling in front of him with red roses in her hands!
How was I supposed to tolerate that? How can I just stay idle in front of it? I know he is also getting famous slowly but still, it hurt somewhere inside my chest? I felt like someone stabbed me in my chest for thousands of times.
My heart summoned me to stop in front of him and shoved that girl out of my sight and then scold him about it by holding his collar, but how would I scold him? What would I have asked? Why are you smiling when she is proposing to you?? Why are you letting her do it???
If I would have asked all those questions he would have asked one question to me, wouldn't he???
"Who are you to ask me this? What relationship do we have that you are asking me this question?"
Then what answer would I have given him?
That I love him since the day I have memories of my childhood or he was the one I wanted to love for my whole life? He was the one with whom I wanted to spend my life with! My existence in this world was only because of him. Or I am a boy but still fall in love with a boy?
And that too in front of everyone who will judge him for it! No, I could not possibly do that. I can take all the slandering, scolding for myself but can't see someone doing it with him and that too when I don't know anything about his feelings for me!!!
Maybe he also loved that girl from the bottom of his heart!
It was making me go berserk but I controlled my feelings at that time just thinking about his image and stood there just looking at the scene like a maniac, but after some time it became blurry and I felt pain in my throat. It became difficult to breathe in that air!
The lonely drop of tear flowed from my left eye. I touched the wet thing on my cheek and its warmth made me realize that I was crying. I looked down at my phone and averted my gaze from my Xian ge. My gege, the only word left from my lips,
MINE!!!
And I walked away from him but yes in the same way he was standing. I walked past him slightly touching his back taking the breath in the same air my Xian ge was standing. Taking his scent in my lungs after a long wait of 10 years!
He became really tall, just like me! When we were kids he was way too taller than me but now things have changed. I was way too small from him and clingy too!
Till I was five I asked him to carry me sometimes on his back and sometimes in front too. Circling my legs around his small waist. Sniffing and kissing his neck all the time.
Yes! I was clingy, gluey, gummy but only with him. We were inseparable or it will be right to say that I was inseparable from him!!!
Till the time I was a toddler I used to wait for him to come home from school like a good child but as soon as he used to take the first step home, I used to make his life hell!!!
Yes, I was like that since the first day of my life! As an infant, I used to cry for hours for him to return back home. Then slowly when I grew up I started to wait for him at aye's home. I used to have my lunch, dinner, snacks only from his hands!
We used to play for hours but for that, he started to sacrifice his sleep to complete his homework in the night to not to miss anything.
One day when I slept over at his home, I got up in the middle of the night for water and saw him doing his studies.
"Gege why are you studying in the night? Don't you feel sleepy? Come and sleep with me right now..."
I ordered and he obeyed like always but the same night I got up again to see him sitting on his study table and then like always I made it hard for him to complete his work!
He silently came and slept next to me but I was stubborn from a young age. I circled myself around his body like an octopus. It's just that I had only 4 limbs!!!
Next day morning after my nursery school I asked mama why gege studies at night. That day was the first day I learnt that my gege loves me more than anything!
"My JuJu! He studies in the night just to give all the time to you! Do you know how much your Xian loves you??"
I knew how much my Xian ge loved me! I opened my arms fully to show my mama.
"He loves me like a big earth loves the moon who never let go of his Moon anywhere always keeps him near her!"
"Yes, what your Xian ge says is so correct, but do you know to keep that Moon constantly with her she has to make many sacrifices. It hurts JuJu, very badly. Do you want your Xian to be that Earth, who hurts herself to keep her Moon to herself??"
"Mama, my Xian ge is in pain??"
Tears made their way out as soon as words fell on the ear and then to the heart.
"Mama I am hurting my Xian ge?? Mama tell me am I hurting him??"
My mother was always this kind to me and my Xian ge,
"No my child you can never hurt your Xian ge, never but if you will give him time to complete his work in day time then he will also have peaceful night sleep. Do you understand my boy?"
"Yes, mama!! Now I will always give him time to do his own thing and after that, I will keep him for only myself!"
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
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