I stood beside Mr Lukas and stared at the coffin being lowered into the ground in front of me. Something about that hole always bugs me. Six feet seems so far down. Its eerie and cold and dark. The thought of packing Jay under all that sand and never seeing her again was the ugliest thought my mind has had to process.
I pulled myself together for the eulogy.
"Uh hi everyone. As most of you all know, I'm Jasmine's girlfriend. I loved her to the ends of the earth and didn't see her as just a girlfriend. I saw her as my missing puzzle piece, my other half. She was the only best thing I had in my life and now that she's gone I've got no idea what to do next. She lit up all of our lives, and not one of us here will ever be the same. She's left an unforgettable imprint on our lives.
With her happiness and radiance, she was a blessing. She stayed happy and positive throughout her struggle with cancer. She was a warrior. And she still insisted on helping people before herself, even in sickness. All I can hope for her is that she's in the happy, beautiful place that she deserves."
Everyone nodded in agreement and I stepped down from the podium. As the funeral drew to a close, everyone left and I stayed behind until it was dark, just sitting and staring at her grave. "I hope you're happy and safe where you are Jay. I love you so much. You left too soon."
I looked down and let my tears fall to my lap. Would I ever be able to leave this grave? I cant just leave her under all that earth.
I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Sergio. "Hey there sweetheart."
---‐------------
I didn't really care.
I didn't care about the pain shooting through my legs as they hit the tar road as I ran.
I didn't care about the harsh pain in my chest as I struggled to breathe from running for so long.
Jay was gone and I didn't really care about anything anymore. Why was I even still running?
Was Sergio even there or did I imagine it? Did I dream up an excuse to override my guilt from leaving Jay's grave?
I stopped. I looked around. I could feel my pulse shooting up my legs. I was at a gas station. I walked inside and towards the bathroom, locked myself in a cubicle and sat there for a while.
I slumped against the hard porcelain of the toilet and sighed. My breath still hard from the running.
I looked around me at all the stupid graffiti on the walls. "Call for a good time*number*"
"I shat where you're sitting"
"Amina is a bitch don't date her"
"buy quality weed here!*number*"
I couldn't help but laugh. The people in this world sure are charming aren't they? What a time to be alive. The only sounds I could hear was the indistinct conversation between shop employees and customers, and various toilets and faucets dripping.
I heard a man walk in and I held my breath. He sounded like he was talking on the phone. It wasn't Sergio. This man sounded like an American, while Sergio was Italian.
But still I wouldn't trust it. Ugh. I hated unisex bathrooms. You couldn't get away from anyone. I held my knees up to my chest and nodded off to sleep.
--------
"Sorry hello?! You need to get out! we are locking up the shop!" I opened my eyes lazily and walked out of the cubicle. A young man with messy blonde hair that fell to his shoulders, and two sparkling blue eyes leaned against the wall and looked me up and down.
As soon as he locked eyes with me his face shifted from what seemed to be annoyance, to something else.
"You okay?" He said and walked a little closer. I shrugged and looked down. "I'm hiding from a man who may or may not be chasing me." His eyes widened. "Shit! Cmon let me take you to the police station!"
I shook my head. "No. I dont even know if that's worth it." He nodded in understanding.
"Well, you want me to give you a ride home? It's safer than walking." My lip quivered and I looked down. Don't cry now Mary you've done so well so far.
I took in a deep breath and looked up at him. "I dont really want to go home right now. So it's okay I'll just walk somewhere." I shrugged and pushed past him out of the door.
"Hey! Wait!" I heard him call after me. I turned to face him. "You could come stay with me until you report it. I've got a little room." I sighed.
"Look. I've just met you. I don't know who you are, and I don't even know your name." He smiled and extended an arm out to me. "Hey. I'm Travis."
Wow. Persistent.
"Mary." He nodded and smiled. He had a cute smile. His teeth were perfectly aligned and bright white. "See! Now we know each other." He said with a laugh. "And I mean, you've got better odds with me, then you do with wondering the streets alone at 11 at night."
"I guess so. Are you sure I won't be intruding?" I said cautiously. "Yeah of course you won't. It's really okay." I nodded and squeezed my hands into fists, and let go, letting out a deep breath.
"Okay. Let's go then. Thank you so much." He nodded and linked arms with me, walking me to his car. It was run down and kind of wrecked, but a car nonetheless.
I'm glad it was the car it was. Any reminder of Sergio is not welcome right now. As I climbed in he shut the door behind me like a genuine gentleman. I chuckled and folded my arms.
Looking around me I could see tons of CD's and empty fast food containers. He opened the back seat door and pulled off his uniform shirt. I couldn't help but let my eyes wonder to his chest.
His skin was lightly sun kissed and he had a very vague six pack. He was either working on it or it was fading away. Still attractive nonetheless.
I looked away before he could notice me looking. He climbed into the driver's seat with a black shirt and black leather jacket over it.
The car ride to his house was surprisingly pleasant. Talking to him was so easy.
I told him everything. A weird story, and a lot of info to give to a stranger. But I think I might have someone after all. He took it all in with zero judgement. Maybe I'm not alone. Maybe I've just found a friend.
Only time would tell.