"What if it turns out that the one who killed you was not a bad person, or rather someone you never imagined at all, to do this. Do you still believe that there are really good people in this world?" Marvel's question made me pause for a moment, I looked into his eyes that were so sad..
"I believe there are really good people, many good people around me. I often get warmth and trust from them. Good people are always around other good people, if you want to find them. Then you have to be a good person. first. isn't that so ?. " I asked back, and he immediately hugged me slowly. The warm hug from Marvel certainly calmed me down.
"Why do you ask about good people? What killed me was one of the good people I really trust ?." I asked Marvel, because he hasn't told me anything at the moment. what exactly is he hiding?
"No, yes .. Maybe both." Marvel said, he took his embrace away from me. can only look into his eyes with a confused face, why does he look nervous now?
"Did something happen first? That you couldn't tell me who killed me in the past?" I asked again, becoming more and more curious about my past.
"Maybe later, after everything is really worth talking about. I'll tell you who killed you in the past." Marvel got up from his seat, he then walked to the refrigerator and took a cold drink from one of the famous brands. then he drank it fast.
I just pay attention to what Marvel is doing, maybe this is not the time to ask what I really want to know, or maybe there were some mistakes in the past that made Marvel unable to tell further, I'm sure Marvel has its own reasons for now.
He walked back to me, I just kept quiet and saw him who was very restless.
"You want to sleep again? Because of me you wake up and now you can't even sleep anymore, huh?" I said softly, I stood up and gently stroked his arm. I chose to go back to the bed and climb into bed.
I just let Marvel who was still standing and holding a drink in his hand, I just watched from the direction of the bed. Laying down my body well, my eyes stared straight without wanting to say anything else.
"You know Ele, at night sometimes I always stay up all night just to imagine the times with you. Every moon shines brightly in the sky, when the stars are so beautiful looking at me, I always imagine you beside me and always there. by my side. But all of it feels just like a shadow so empty, I can only Hope for these decades. I can only wait for you to come back and be by my side.
But .. somehow, when you really was beside me. I feel that you are just a body without a soul, you don't remember me and never know who I really am. Your different attitude, your words that always make me feel strange. all of that really. Makes me a little sad, why? Why after decades have I waited silently for you. waiting for you so long, I only got a body without a soul like this? Why can't I find the real you? is it because I have done so many mistakes?
Is it because of the curse? to make you see me as nothing more than a famous rich man? You know me, not as your husband. But as a stranger in your life. "Marvel's sayings made me open my eyes very wide, I looked into his eyes that were already staring into mine without stopping.
he saw me and walked slowly towards me, his eyes indeed staring with disappointment. But he just kept quiet without wanting to cry, let alone sad, everything Marvel said was like words without meaning. I can't see if he's really sad or just telling a story that doesn't live up to his expectations.
"Because I was born to live with my own world, not to live for anyone. Let alone live for you. Am I wrong if I don't remember you? Am I wrong if I only think of you as someone else?" I get back out of bed, walking slowly toward Marvel.
I saw his eyes that were so deep, had many complicated meanings. I kept walking towards him, holding his burly shoulders. touching it and stroking it gently. I feel every smooth skin covered with a thin T-shirt. I stopped moving my hands behind her neck, then I moved my hands again and touched his soft black hair.
It felt strange, when my instincts moved my own hand. I just want to touch it and feel every flow of blood that is in its body. I seemed obsessed with reality and also the past that had happened.
"You know Marvel? Sometimes there is a very bitter reality to accept, when you take someone's blood and suck it out, at that time you have planted karma that is worth it, where one day your blood will be taken and sucked until it runs out as well.
There is a fact that does feel strange and annoying, if today I don't remember you and just look at you with an ordinary gaze. while you wish I looked at you with full of love, maybe in the past you've seen me with an ordinary gaze too. That's why now karma is working on you. Isn't that Marvelo Salvador ?. "I stopped the movement of my hands and my mouth. I had time to think why I could say all these words so fluently ?.
"So you think that now I'm feeling a karma of past mistakes?" Asked Marvel, he was standing in front of me. I'm behind his body and can only stare at his wide and beautiful back.
"Yes, of course .. What else makes you feel this way? Why can I leave you and now don't remember you at all? Doesn't that feel annoying? Is God always playing with us? Until he cursed you? . " I asked.
For a while there was no sound from Marvel's reply, he was just silent and only heard the sound of hunting breath.
I shut my mouth for a moment, what am I really saying? why did it feel like those words were too creepy for me to say by myself? what's wrong with my mouth
Ahhh .. Ele! what exactly are you talking about to Marvel?
"You're right, I feel all of this because of past mistakes. Mistakes that may never be forgiven." Marvel said quietly, he then walked away leaving me. he just came out of the room, I can only see his back slowly walking away.