Changmin and I really did not need to talk. No. We did not want to talk. We just wanted to revel in the escape we had found ourselves. Our silent comfort, however, was interrupted by his phone ringing not more than five minutes into it. When he took his right hand away from me to get his phone, his eyes revealed annoyance.
He was so easy to read even when I couldn't see most of his face.
He frowned on checking the caller ID, pressed the volume down button to silence his phone and then put it back in his pocket instead of answering it. He didn't look too pleased.
"What happened?" I asked slowly, sitting up a bit to look at him properly. Given that it was already past midnight, it was weird that he would even get a call at all but I had thought that it was probably one of 04:00 am's members calling to check in on him but his reaction told me that that was not the case. "Who was it?"
"I don't know." He responded bitterly, still frowning when he looked out the window once more.
"You don't know?" What was that supposed to mean? "At this time of the night too…"
"It's… I think someone managed to get their hands on my number." He said.
"Someone, as in… a fan?" I enquired.
He nodded. "This isn't the first time that she has called. It's been happening for about 3 weeks now. She calls at all the odd hours."
"Wait. What?" I sat up fully. "A sasaeng fan? Why didn't you block the number?"
"I blocked the first ten numbers that she used."
I gawked at him in disbelief. "Have you reported it?"
"Yes. I'll just have to change my number. No one can track her down because she keeps using different numbers." He sighed. "She'll probably stop if I keep ignoring her? If a call comes at times like this, I just don't answer. The only problem is if she calls during normal hours because I can't tell if it's her or work-related."
"But, Hyung, if she calls at such times, won't your sleep get disturbed?" It was difficult enough to get rest without needing such a nuisance.
He glanced at me. "That is a problem too."
That's just… "Switch it off."
"Can't do that." He shook his head. "Own schedules, alarms, work, my people."
I could understand what that was like too but if it was such a pain then what else could be done?
"I don't really want to make it an issue, so I'm not publicly addressing it. So far, it's just been one person. It'll be a pain if she lets my number leak. I don't want to instigate her to do that. I can't just change my number because this is my official number and changing it means getting it changed in a lot of other places." Before he could continue, his phone began ringing again. He silenced it again and looked at me a little helplessly. "I'll do something about this if it goes on for too long. I promise."
"So, you'll put up with this till then." I didn't like that.
"Ya." He wrapped the arm that was around my shoulder around my neck this time, pulling me in to give me a hug of sorts before settling again for my shoulders. "Don't worry. I'll take care of myself."
"You'd better." I pouted a little. "There's nothing that I can do about this so…"
"It's okay. I'm fine." He smiled at me when our eyes met again.
Fine. But then again, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"Hm? Because you'll worry unnecessarily?"
"It's not unnecessary."
"It's really nothing, Jeongwoo. Besides, it's something I have to deal with myself. I would have told you if it had gotten unbearable."
"See, that's even more worrisome."
He laughed lightly. "Alright then. I'll tell you everything from now on."
"It's… not that I want to know EVERYTHING… It'd be good if you could take me into your confidence a bit more." What was I getting all shy about now for?
"Got it." He nodded.
He had never been the kind to hide anything from me. If he really did not feel like telling me before this, it must not have bothered him too much. He must have thought that it would eventually stop if he did not pay much attention to it.
To be fair, I had a thing or two that I hadn't told him either. For instance, the fight that Jaehyeon and I had had regarding us. Somehow, I felt that I couldn't tell him about it because he might hold it against Jaehyeon and I did not want that no matter what.
I had some troublesome Hyungs…
"Text me when you get home." I told him after getting out of the cab, holding the door open and leaning in to see him inside the cab.
"I will." He nodded and gave me a quick wave. "Sleep well."
I won't be seeing him tomorrow, would I? "Good night." I smiled, shut the cab door and stepped back to watch it drive away. Then I went right back to the dorm. It was already past 01:00 am when I opened the front door and so, I was justifiably surprised to find Yeojun and Hanseol sitting in the living room and watching TV.
"You're still up?"
"Yes, somehow." Hanseol replied and motioned to Yeojun behind his back with his eyes when Yeojun smiled at me. "Welcome back, Hyung."
Wait. Hanseol, what did that mean? "Yes. Sorry for being this late."
"You can sleep in tomorrow anyway. We don't have anything scheduled till 11:00 am." Yeojun stretched.
"That's why I stayed out this long." I nodded. "I'm getting right to bed now though. You should too."
"Ah. I guess I'll go sleep now too." Yeojun got up and looked at Hanseol. "You should too, Hyung."
"Yes. I'm going." Hanseol switched the TV off and stood up from the couch. "Good night."
I wished Yeojun good night as I took off my mask and beanie and walked up to Hanseol. Once Yeojun had gone into the room, I gave Hanseol a quizzical look.
"I found him sitting here when I finished working at around 12:00 am." He told me, glancing towards the room once more. "He had gone to bed with Mingyu after dinner saying that the work-out had tired him."
"Then why…" Could he not sleep? "Did he overwork himself today?" But Yeojun was the kind who worked out decently well every day. Today should not have done that to him.
"I didn't feel like leaving him alone so I joined him. He didn't object to it in any way."
Which meant that he didn't mind the company. There was only one reason why he had done something similar before. "Is… Is it because I was out?"
He shrugged. "He didn't say anything when I had asked what was wrong. Only that he wasn't feeling sleepy."
"I thought it had gotten better." I frowned, remembering how he used to stay awake till all five of us were back home after the incident at the convenience store. He had stopped doing that a while ago though. "Did something happen?"
"Not that I'm aware of." Hanseol replied. "We would have known, right? Or… we're just overthinking this and he just couldn't sleep."
"That's not good either."
"Well, he is a little attached to you. When you were getting so late, he probably got worried."
"I had told everyone that I would be late." I sighed.
"01:00 am is later than your usual 'late'." He pointed out. "Not that we have any complaints. You can do what you want. I'm just trying to figure out what kept him up. He was watching the time too."
A pang of guilt gripped me. By the sound of it, it really did look like he was waiting up for me. He even went to bed as soon as I got home. The realisation made me scrunch up my eyebrows. "Hanseol-ah…"
"Ah. Why?" He frowned on seeing my face.
"Should I not have stayed out this late?"
"Ya. What are you saying?" He shook his head, came over and grabbed the back of my collar, pulling me towards mine and Jaehyeon's room's shut door. "You go sleep instead of thinking up anything unnecessary. We'll deal with this later."
He had a gruff way of showing that he cared. We were used to it. In fact, he wouldn't have been Hanseol if he didn't do something like this once in a while. "Okay. Then." I stopped outside the closed door and turned to him when he released my collar. "Good night." I gave him a hug that he did not (and I was not quite expecting him to) return.
"Mm. Good night." He rolled his eyes, messed up my hair and went towards his own room after switching off the lights. "Don't wake up too early."
"I'll try." I opened my door to find the lights on. "Oh?" I had thought that Mingyu and Jaehyeon had both gone to sleep but I found my beloved roommate sitting up in bed with a heavy-looking book in his hand and his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He spared me not even a glance. I sighed. "And what kept you up, Hyung?"
"You." He replied without even a moment's thought.
"What is it with everyone in this household?" I chuckled and shook my head as I shut the door. He was so engrossed in his book that he was not even looking at me. It was obvious what had kept him up. "What are you reading?"
"Classical literature. Collection." He responded word-by-word as if he was reading in his mind in between the words. It was a rare sight to see him reading something so intently.
Without disturbing him any further, I went about getting ready for bed. Just as I was going to crawl into the covers, he shut his book with a heavy sigh and looked at me without saying anything.
Um… "What?"
"It's a heavy read."
"Language-wise or story-wise?" I asked and sat down at the edge of my bed. He seemed to be up for a talk.
"Story-wise. I'm a little lost. And sad." He pouted.
I laughed at his childish display. "Okay. Tell me what happened."
He narrowed his eyes at me, then waved a hand in dismissal. "If I start now, it will end only tomorrow morning. We should really just sleep."
"What's with the mood swings?" I laughed again and stood up, extending a hand towards him for the book. It would be easier for me to put it away. "If you're not reading anymore."
He looked from my open hand to my face, then caught my hand with his left and brought his right around my torso as he pulled me onto the bed over himself such that I ended up on my back on his left with my legs lying over him. I had the air knocked out of me. "That felt like a tackle…"
"It was." He settled for hugging me and shut his eyes.
This man…
I just lay there and let him be. "Jun was up till now."
"I heard." He nodded.
"You heard Hanseol and I talking?"
"No. I heard the three of you saying good night." He clarified. "It surprised me too. I had thought that it was only Hanseol watching TV."
I shook my head. "It looked like he was waiting up for me- Yeojun."
"As in?"
"Like he used to before. He used to wait for everyone to get home before going to bed." I explained.
"Don't worry too much about it. I'm sure he just suddenly woke up and realised that you hadn't come home despite it getting so late and then decided to wait." He reached over and patted my head before returning to hug me. "People tend to miss you when you're away."
I chuckled. I hoped it really was just that. "What are you going to do for the two weeks that we are going to be on break? I'm not going to be around."
"About that… I've been thinking about it a lot. We should all go out somewhere together or at least visit each other. I want you all to meet my Han Seulbi. Besides, I can't do two full weeks without you and the kids."
"Ah, Hyung, what's with that?!" I laughed and hit his arm at which he opened his eyes and chuckled too.
"What? I'm serious."
"I know. But your Han Seulbi… She's not even your daughter. I can imagine what you would be like if you had a daughter of your own."
"I would adore her to death, of course." He shrugged, then added. "That is, if at all I get married."
Ah. This kind of talk… "Hyung, where do you think we will be in ten years?"
He looked at me in question. "Why all of a sudden?"
"Just like that. I just happened to think about it." I met his eyes. "Do you think S.T.A.Y will still be there?"
"Hm. Let's see." He thought. "We would all be in our thirties, having finished our Military services."
"Uwah… That sounds so far in the future!" I mused.
"Ten years is a very long time." He nodded. "That would make it fourteen years of S.T.A.Y. That's also… a very long time."
"I want to still be making music." I said.
"I want to still be with you too- making music and lounging around like this, wondering about what we were like ten years ago."
Changmin, where would we be?
A moment of silence passed as we imagined all that, then I sighed and tapped his arm. "Let go, Hyung. Let's sleep."
"Just sleep here." He hugged me tighter instead of letting go though.
I flailed my legs a little. "I'm uncomfortable."
He loosened his hold on me. "Then get comfortable."
"Why? Let me go back to my bed. You can sleep comfortably too." He had always been clingy but it felt like he was being especially so tonight.
"I just read a very heavy story and I feel sad." He pouted. "It won't kill you to stay with me."
Exasperated, I climbed in to lie down properly. "You shouldn't read that at night anymore."
"I won't." He nodded, then turned and switched off the bedside lamp that was on, coming back to hug me. "Good night, Jeongwoo-ya."
"Mm. Good night."
I read Changmin's message informing me that he had gotten home and wishing me a good night only when I woke up around 07:30 am the next morning.