I got packed by the boss back to his home.
It's times like this when I wish the author would update more quickly. It makes me feel insecure not to know what's going to happen. Although your reasons may be different from mine, I believe you also wish authors would update more frequently, so it's a feeling you can understand.
I've had a dream about the long past after I fainted. I've not had this nightmare for a long time since being adopted by my master, and I don't know why I'm recalling it now. In novel terms, this is probably called a flashback.
In the dream I'm standing before the complex that should have already been burnt. My younger self has a new ball in his hands standing behind a group of children. He holds up the ball, saying, "play with me!"
Of course, nobody responded. Those kids are playing by themselves in a circle with a worn down flowery ball without even giving me a glance. Yet my younger self still doesn't give up, still holding the ball up, "please play with me!"
I didn't get an answer after yelling for a while. Those kids seem to have not seen me entirely, and even ran towards another direction. My younger self stands still, his eyes reddening. He pauses, takes a deep breath, and holds back his teeths, running outside instead. I remember this is the time when my home was still there. Theoretically as a tall, rich and handsome male deuteragonist, I should have had countless underlings and many girls around me, but that was not the case when I was young. Sure, my household was rich, but nobody was willing to come. Why? Because everyone knew the plot. They knew that when I was five, everyone would die because of us. So it is a given everyone would not wish for me to grow up. Someone even tried to strangle me, but they all failed thanks to some mysterious forces. The plot, therefore, cannot be intervened in its overall direction. So after failing to kill me, everyone took the smart choice out, which is to ignore me. Everyone not limited by plot and able to move out has done so. No matter where I went to look for people to play with, nobody would play with me. My parents and elders did not like me either. Not that I'd have problems getting fed, but nobody that nobody would care about me. I think my habit of saying stuff even to dolls or something is probably formed around this time. Nobody liked me, so I did most things myself, which is why I knew a little bit of everything. The only person who looked at me properly was the older brother who doesn't come back often. I was always very happy when he's home, because he then played with me. He knew about the plot as well, but he never thought of me as a nuisance.
And then is the day of this flashback. What was destined to happen has happened. Although I knew it would happen, and also mentally prepared myself for what I should be doing, but when it actually happened, I still completely collapsed. I remember the detail of every single bit of the tragedy. All the people I knew, all the people I didn't know, all dead, and I was in the best position to witness all of that too. My most vivid scene was when my favourite older brother stood in front of me drenched completely in blood. He was presented with the question, "will you not kill me?"
My older brother is quiet for a long time. He shakes his head, saying, "the plot says you cannot die."
I still cannot shake off those gazes of pure resentment before the people died, which explains my fear of ghosts and stuff like that. My young self then was also so scared that I didn't know where to go. When I finally managed to regain control over my body, even if I'd almost forgotten what to do due to fear, I still ran outside the City instinctively. I just ran out, trying to find who's theoretically the destined master who should be waiting to collect me. Clearly, however, my master was late, because I didn't meet him. In the end, I was staying inside an uncharted mountain for 7 days. I did return to the place once, but I could only see black charcoal bodies in black charcoal ruins. I didn't manage to find enough food to eat, and because my whole body is full of wounds I couldn't make my way elsewhere. In the end, I fainted due to hunger in a mountain cave while running a high fever, my life only being prolonged by the power of plot. It was then that my master casually made his way here. If he were to be later, who knows how much the plot could have prolonged my life for. It is then that I realised it is not reliable to rely on others.
In the end, I lived.
And then I wake up. I almost immersed myself so deeply in the flashback that I don't react, but my legs already feel better. I'm lying in a very soft bed with very soft quilt. Something I hadn't experienced in the past 10 years. I think I might have some clue as to who the boss is, but the room is currently empty, and I can't prove my hypothesis. Zhu Jue is still probably doing his best in the master practitioner's maze. Who knows where he might be at this point.
My body feels very tired. Whether because of my wounds or something else, I don't want to wake up either. I close my eyes and fall asleep like that.
When I wake up again, I can smell food; I'm certainly hungry as well, so I sit and start examining the room. This room only has a bed, a dresser and… lots of fluffy dolls.
Dolls…
I'm sitting in the middle of the room, my inner fur-loving persona being excited to death by all the dolls in the room.
No! This must be the enemy's diversion!
… I'll endure it even if it's diversion!
So when Leng Muyu walks into the room, he stands at the entrance, looking at me for god knows how long as I continued rolling in the ocean of dolls. When I see him finally, he has a brilliantly complicated emotion on him. He probably can't see me due to his nearsightedness, but I know he can hear me rolling about. And then I stand up calmly, walking towards him with my still somewhat limp leg, and takes Leng Muyu's mask away calmly.
Leng Muyu, no, Xuanyuan Muyu stands in front of me, the corner of his lips shaking, saying, "Mufeng?"
"So it was Da'ge." Though he was always moving about when I was younger, but this older brother of mine… has a younger-brother complex.
He's the rare person who treated me well among the many.
Although I'm now aware the tragedy back then seemed to have much to do with this older brother, and he's probably the ultimate villain designated by the author, but it's a plot demand and I myself was traumatised by it as well. Since the author is still too busy talking about Zhu Jue to care about us, I take my older brother's mask and throw it onto his head. He doesn't dodge, just taking the blow like that, and then embraces me, "long time no see, Mufeng."
"Why did you bring me here?"
"Oh, let's just say it's a requirement of the plot."
"I'm not the female lead."
"But you have to give the protagonist a reason to become stronger and beat the boss up, right?"
"That's Qiuyu's job."
"Now it's your job~"
"Is the author seriously going mad appealing to fujoshis?"
"That's…"
We look at each other's eyes for a moment, before my older brother suddenly chuckles, and touches my head, "don't worry. Da'ge is here for you, I won't let you be bullied."
Though so many years have passed, he still seems to be as bro-con as ever. I'm happy to see that though, so I hug my older brother happily, both of us starting to cry in that posture… not really. Mainly he's crying while hugging me, which in turn made my eyes irritate a bit, and I sniffle in reflex. Then I get hugged and get cried on for half a day, doing nothing in the end. I wanted to eat something originally, and then I forgot about that completely, so now I'm starving. And then, when older brother says he has something going on and went away, I finally get the time to have a meal dragging my limp leg behind me. It feels good to be full with dolls to hug. I suddenly start to think it might be better if Zhu Jue doesn't come save me. The author has said this won't be too long a novel, so older brother is probably the last boss in this case. Now that I think about it this is still quite a logical setting, also giving Zhu Jue a chance to have a battle with the boss. I probably also don't have to worry about anything other than to wait for Zhu Jue to save me. It feels a bit unsettling seeing the author appeal to fujoshis like that, I just hope this won't end up in a wild plot development.
So I begin my days of being kept like a pig. I eat and sleep and eat and sleep everyday. I do still practice my cultivation every day, since it's become a habit of mine over the years. Older brother would come along every day, chatting and having a meal with me or something. Though he seems to be busy on something, absent for most of the day like before. I'm not too bored myself, having become used to being alone. I just worry about Zhu Jue every now and then. Although he has the halo, he's still a kid. I think it was two months ago that he said his birthday was a few days ahead. I did promise to spend the birthday with him; I even got him a present, but thanks to the plot here I can't give it to him. It's a nice sword. Though Zhu Jue will probably get a better one later, I'm sure it's useful in the early phases still because it has limited antidote properties. I showed off my cuteness and got flirted at by my master before I acquired it.
I don't know why, but I'm starting to miss Zhu Jue. He might not have been a protagonist with distinctive traits, but in reality, he's probably the most down-to-earth among us characters who have to obey weird settings.
When will I be able to meet him, I wonder.
I am starting to feel, for the first time in a long while, that it's a bit lonely to be alone.