"Saber, give me your hand, and don't slack!"
"Same for you avenger, don't leave behind."
These were the dialogues of two 'evil' alters of two infamous heroines of Chaldea, Artoria Alter, and Jeanne Alter, or Salter and Jalter respectively.
"No way… are those really edgy heroines from before?!" Gudako can't believe in her eyes how synchronized their attacks were responding without even the need for proper command.
Salter and Jalter were nothing like that. In fact, they would have eaten each other and this singularity would be the death of humanity's master if not for our MC's timely arrival and taming these alters.
(Flashback)
"Ice queen bitch! Why didn't you give me a ride to hide out?!"
"I had Master with me. And even if I could, I won't ever give a ride to mad dog."
Jalter and Salter again started their bickering.
"Awww…" Poor Gudako could only massage her forehead as she just dodged a death bullet since Jalter and Salter even started their bickering in midst of the fight.
She knew that she was not going to survive this singularity.
"Humph! I guess your manwhore really got in your nerves, ice bitch queen!"
"I dare you to call him manwhore one more time and I will salt your virgin ass!"
Now that Einar was mentioned, their fight went from just bickering to worst that they both drew their weapons.
"Oi, stop!" Gudako had to jump to stop them.
"Master, give me command and let me kill this ice bitch queen. She only has one place and that is that man's bed!"
"Master, don't stop me from killing this virgin mad dog. I am going to Excalibur her ass."
"I will Le Grondement de la Haine your mouth if you call me virgin one more time!"
"Gosh, please go to your rooms and relax. We will discuss this matter tomorrow!"
Be it temporarily, she was able to calm the storm and earthquake finally and came to her room when a screen appeared in front of her.
[Ahn~ Senpai, how is it going…? Hmm~]
For some reason, Mash was moaning while sweating and… naked?
"Mash! What are you doing and with whom?!" Gudako thought that something was terribly wrong.
Mash didn't come with her in this singularity so she could only control servants that were summoned in this singularity.
[Ah senpai, it's not what you are thinking… I am with Einar-senpai- Ahnn~ dame senpai, please don't put that thing inside all of sudden!]
"You are with my husbando!? Mash, Einar, get away from each other this instant!" Gudako can't believe that she was deceived by her kohai. She felt like she has been NTRed.
[Relax, I am only giving her massage.] It was Einar who was calm.
"Oh thank god!" Gudako sighed in relief. She was still suspecting but she can't do anything from another part of the world.
After that Gudako explained everything to Einar and he agreed to help since it includes two saberface.
The next day Einar came and Gudako introduced him to two alters.
"Hello, I am Einar Sirius du lac, a lancer but also somewhat caster too. I hope we get along." Einar greeted like a proper gentleman however in the next moment, his image was shattered by two heroines.
"So you are the infamous manwhore that this ice bitch queen takes so much pride."
A tick mark appeared on Einar's face but he still maintained his smile from the rude comment of Jalter.
"Didn't I tell you not to come out from your room? Since when did my slave get this brave as to defy his master?"
Another tick mark appeared on his face but he was still calm. He was her slave? Since when?
"Haha, guess the infamous lancer is not only manwhore but also a slave to this ice bitch queen."
"Mad dog, he is my slave so don't drag your useless butt here!"
And they started bickering again but this time they even involved Einar too.
"This is fucking enough," Einar finally changed his calm and charming face into cold and demonic one.
He knew that they both require some lessons so he first asked Gudako to leave the three of them alone then took out a wooden bench from his storage.
He cast a spell on both of them paralyzing their bodies and placed them on the bench on their belly.
"Hey wait! What the hell do you think you are doing? You scum!"
"Slave, this is not the time to do this here!"
Jalter and salter were both helpless since they were in a very awkward position.
However, it didn't stop Einar from what he was doing.
Since both of them were in their Shinjuku sprite, Einar first removed Salter's nicker and then lifted Jalter's skirt making them show their panties. He didn't do that to ogle their pale butt but to punish them.
He enlarged his hand, raised in the heaven, and dropped on their asses like the punishment of God.
"Aaaaaaaaa!" Both of them screamed from their lungs out.
One bitch slap to their butt drained 5% of their HP. However, Einar didn't care about their agony and help cry and continued to spank their butts until only 10% of their HP was left.
"Now, who is manwhore and slave again?" Einar asked coldly.
Jalter and Salter shuddered from fear. They didn't dare to even lift their eyes to face him. Their butts were in terrible pain that they couldn't even sit.
Sniff*
They then became teary after the beat down. Salter was sad that she got humiliated by her slave (lover) and Jalter was angry that this manwhore (Secret crush) dare to lift his hand on her.
Einar sighed and smiled. He was mad but had already taught them a lesson.
He first lifted Salter and placed on his lap facing each other.
"Wait, Einar-"
Before she could reason with him, he already closed her mouth with his lips and began to smooch her. Salter also didn't mind showing some honest feeling and rolled her arms around his neck.
"W-w-w-what?!" Jalter blushed from embarrassment after watching two couples kissing each other so passionately in front of her. She was a little mad that they were showing this kind of play without any care of her presence and not because she was jealous or anything!
Einar then parted with Salter after sucking the life out of her and placed the fainted Salter on the sofa to deal with another alter.
"W-what do you think you are doing!? S-stay back! Don't come! Do it with me too… I mean nooo! " Jalter was desperate and her mind was fantasying about Einar and doing with him but she will never submit for such kind of brazen act even if her body wants to enjoy the forbidden fruit.
However, against her expectations, Einar didn't touch her sexual part but gave her a warm hug. She was confused and flustered but didn't say anything and both of them remained in that position for a minute.
After that Einar placed Jalter on his lap and began healing her ass with his right hand.
"Humph, you are such a pervert." Jalter was blushing and was against Einar touching her butt but she didn't stop him since she was being healed.
"Yes, I am."
"You are also a cheater."
"Yeah, kind of but I only show my feelings to Artoria and anyone who has a similar spirit origin. Besides, she allowed me to have as many wives as I want."
"You are so lecher! But don't put your feelings for me! I am not like my other-self. I am just clone made with hatred and war-"
"I know perfectly well what are you so no need to concern yourself. Artoria also has one but you see when you love someone you have to accept their dark part too." Einar explained.
Salter who heard him came and hugged his left arm. She was totally different from before like a maiden in love.
"See? I don't really care if you are evil or good… well as long as saberface so I don't care what are you. You are you, Jenny."
"What did you call me?!"
"Jenny, it is better than calling you Alter or Jalter all the time. Do you like it?"
"Humph, don't go so lovey-dovey with me. Call me whatever you want!"
"Haha, you are so cute, Jenny!" Einar chuckled.
"Oi, Einar. How big are you gonna expand your harem with this mad dog included?" Salter asked.
"Icy bitch queen!"
"First of all, don't call others with such vulgar names. Second I don't have a harem." Einar explained. It is not a harem if the same person manifests with a different class.
"…" Salter and Jalter looked at him if he was even serious.
"O-okay I am playboy so what? I will take everyone's responsibility." Einar rolled his eyes.
After their chat, Einar gave Jalter her super-boost just like Jeanne and they went to clear Demon God Pillar.
(Flashback ends)
"Can you sit somewhere?" Einar asked Gudako who was sitting on his lap.
"I am your master! I also have a right to sit on your thighs! Why other servants can enjoy your lap but your master can't?! Is it too much to ask?!" Gudako used emotional blackmailing.
"O-of course not. You can sit wherever you want master." Einar smiled helplessly.
On the other hand, Jalter and salter also unleashed their noble phantasms.
"Le Grondement de la Haine!"
"Excalibur Morgan!"
And with Einar's super buffs, the demon god pillar was reduced to ashes.
Alter heroines came and glared at Gudako who was taking advantage of their situation. Gudako flinched and silently got up from his lap to let two alters have some fun with Einar.
"Girls, let me make you some spicy food. In the desert, I will be making French for our Jenny." Einar stood up and grabbed two heroines' waists and offered.
"Humph, don't think that I will fall for your advances!" Jalter was as tsundere as ever.
"Einar, I won't let you use condoms when we go to bed, and make sure to teach that this stupid girl about sex if she is coming on your bed," Salter suggested.
"Hah!? W-what are you saying?! I won't do that with a jerk like him!"
And so two alters stated quarreling again and then left the venue.
"What about me….?" Gudako can't believe that her servants left them to enjoy themselves.
---
(Marvel Cinematic Universe)
Avengers were having a party in avengers' tower and all men were taking turns who will lift Thor's hammer.
"Argg!" Steve Rogers was the last one but he was also not worthy enough to lift Mjölnir.
However, Thor noticed that Steve managed to slightly move the hammer.
"I guess no one is worthy enough!" Thor laughed as he was strongest among all avengers.
Suddenly a boy with blond hair around 17 years old came with a wine bottle in his hand. His face was also red from drunkenness.
He was Einar Sirius du lac who came here after wishing for Holy Grail to have skills like Zoro from One Piece. What he was expecting were swords skills but instead, what he got was his 'Getting Lost' ability. Now he ends up here and got drunk.
"Hic* hey, guys… enjoying the booty party…!" The boy was drunk.
"Hey, who the hell are you?" Tony asked.
"I am regular everyday normal motherfuker~" Einar giggled with a hiccup. Einar then came near the table and held Mjölnir's grip and without waiting even for a second, he easily lifted the god's weapon.
"What!?" Everyone stood up in surprise.
"Hey! Tell me who are you?!" Thor was angry.
"I am… hmmm? Ah-ha! I am worthy~. Hic* Happy destroying and fixing this world guys. Bye bitches!" Einar then put his two fingers on his forehead and disappeared.
"Did I… Did I just get robbed?" Thor was at loss on words.
(Shot on iPhone by J Titan)