For as long as he could remember, Chris wondered why people get embarrassed when making eye contact with the zirks. Why does this bottomless blackness cause others confusion or even fear? Furthermore, why doesn't it work for him? The answer was so simple and so close.
They were standing there, kissing their lips away, breaking apart for mere moments, when they couldn't get enough air to continue, or Chris's neck was asking for rest after a long stay in a position with his head thrown back as far as possible, until Tau sat in a chair, pulling the young man into his lap. Hugging Chris tightly, he pressed his forehead to Chris's collarbone, slowly stroking his back and shoulders, and Chris caressed his neck, ears, and the back of his head with his fingers. And both wondered, how could representatives of two such highly organized intelligent races be so stupid?
"So, do you want to take me to your place?" Said Chris, shifting a bit to avoid the hand-rest that poked his back somewhat painfully.
"Um… I do," Tau hesitated, "and I don't. I mean…," he quickly continued seeing Chris's brows going up. "I feel very confused right now. I feel like I don't know what to do," he cackled nervously; being confused was definitely something he felt extremely rarely.
"You mean with the happiness that landed so unexpectedly right onto your lap?" Chris clarified, lightly stroking a fern-green cheekbone, feeling a relief inside, for he was also wanting and not wanting to go to any of their places knowing what that meant and how it would end. It's not that he wasn't happy with the idea but, perhaps it really would be too fast a development.
Realizing the situation they appeared in, he appreciated how much time he had wasted, simply lost, when he could have made an effort and sorted out his feelings much earlier. He was now ready to return all this time to Tau. Yet, at the same time, he felt that he did not want everything at once, or at least not too soon. This thoughtful and rational in everything zirka, even having the opportunity to confess his feelings, at the same moment began to deny everything, so it's better not to push but to see what pace the Grinch will set for them.
"Exactly," Tau said, not taking his eyes off Chris, slightly squinting whenever the young man's fingers touched his skin.
He looked like he was about to purr with delight, Chris thought, "But you had to see this coming," he said. "I mean, I called you out for that talk." He made round eyes.
Tau sighed, lowering his gaze for the first time this night. "It never hurts keeping your guard engaged when… I mean if… I mean that I'm from a different race and… Not so many humans are inclined to like our looks and the idea–"
"What!? No! You've gotta be kidding me!" Chris jumped off Tau's lap and looked at him in disbelief. "You say you have presumed that I could… what? Be repulsed by your looks or what!?"
"Well," Tau began calmly with a slight tint of humor in his voice, "you never showed any signs that it was otherwise."
Chris exhaled, sitting back and leaning to touch his forehead to Tau's, and whispered, "You're right, I never did. In fact, I have never considered that there's anything there to show."
He found the soft Tau's lips and kissed him again. Slowly and gently, caressing his face with fingertips and tracing the curves of his body where he could reach. They both did that; very softly, not overdoing it, not trying to arouse even in the slightest, just absorbing the tactile image of a being in an embrace.
After a while, they broke off; Chris stared into the black pools with incredibly dilated pupils, seeing his reflection in them. Tau's forest smell tickled his nostrils, willy-nilly evoking memories of the events from the Australian rainforest. Tau gently stroked Chris's back. Finally, he sighed and smiled. Reality slowly began to leak into his mind. It was the middle of the night, and tomorrow they need to be fresh and ready to perform. It was a little easier for him, but the young man urgently needed to be put to bed.
"Chris, I don't think we should stay here too long."
"Yes, you are right." Chris nodded, reluctantly disengaging his hands and standing next to the table. "Don't tell me you're really going to stay and work." He arched an eyebrow questioningly.
"That's what needs to be done," Tau said after a slight hesitation. "But I'll gladly walk you home before I start here."
"No, it's okay, I'm good." Chris took a couple of steps towards the door and then turned around again. "You're not going to shock me tomorrow with the news that nothing of this happened?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
Tau's smile that blossomed on his face at that moment could have healed hopeless patients.
"That should be the least of your worries." He let it sink in for a moment and continued. "And by the way, about that invitation, do you have any plans for the weekend?"
Chris beamed, "Oh, yes, I have plans, I'm not sure what they are, but you'd better take care of it!"
Tau lowered his head, smiling again, "Good night, kri."
"Good night, kri."
Chris left the room and firmly locked the door behind him. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest; his head was slightly spinning from everything: his own audacity, the success of the venture, and the lingering anticipation of tomorrow, the weekend, and each subsequent day that he would spend knowing that it's going to be different for them from now on. Chris was absolutely sure that he had never felt so overflowing with feelings, and it felt amazing.
Tau watched from a window as the young man crossed the square in front of the research center and turned onto the path leading to the residential area. He was regretful now. Who needed those reports? They're all about to land in his locker for good! Why didn't he insist on going with Chris or suggest getting somewhere together? But, well, the boy surely needs his time to process what happened. He acted out of character; at least Tau had never seen him like that in a relationship, except perhaps in scientific activities. Could it be that he is like this because he is dealing with Tau? Did he make the difference? Tau did not know how to feel about this, but he was sure that he would understand very soon. And if Tau makes him act in a new way, then he will make every effort so that Chris begins to feel the world in a new way, so that nothing makes him change his mind.
Tau did not remember how many there were. For this, he was sometimes ashamed, but he also understood that it could not be otherwise. The youth for each Zirkaazte person was a period when they had no power over their emotions, desires, and ambitions. It was a short time, and every member of their race breathed a sigh of relief when it ended. After the first bright stage of maturation, it was time to purify thoughts, reassess one's past, and accept it, and it was time to search for one's goal. At this stage, there was no longer any place for indulging, and the urges became less manifesting. Each grown-up zirka became a kind of worker bee of the multibillion Zirkaazte hive, which spread to the farthest corners of the universe.
He didn't remember how many there were but he remembered everything about the one he lost. He remembered how he looked, the sound of his voice, the smell of his skin. He remembered everything they talked about, how they spent their time together. And how, in an instant, everything disappeared, died, and crumbled to dust.
Damn, that was so long ago.
He remembered, but he wanted to forget. Up to this day. Now he knew that he would not let himself forget how one of his most desired scenarios of the future was trampled. This time, Tau will do everything right, will do everything to give Chris and himself the wonderful future that awaits them.
Chris couldn't take the smile off his face on his way to work in the morning. He strolled, radiating joy, nodding to everyone, infecting with a positive attitude and transforming even the most gloomy, sleepy faces he met along the way. His lungs filled with thick moist air with a slight taste of bergamot. Slightly attaching himself back to reality, he sniffed the air, turned his head, trying to find the source of the citrus smell, and his eyes widened in amazement. The entire reception hall was bursting with vibrant colors. The familiar white interior with occasional sprinklings of mint was now rampant with lush green twigs and wreaths of the southern spruce. The table and reception desk were complemented by vases with tangerines, a nod to an unforgotten past.
"Unbelievable, it's New Year's week," Chris muttered under his breath as he glanced at the information board behind Tony, the desk boy on shift. It said Wednesday, December 29, 857AR.
What the heck, ran through his mind while he remembered yesterday's events. Has Tau known for when he invited Chris out? But wait… He paused to wonder for a bit. It appears that New Year's Eve is going to be this Friday. Has Tau planned to start their weekend on Friday or Saturday? Did it matter?
In the past, all celebrations of this holiday he spent with a group of people in whose company this or that period of his life flowed, and with whom Chris did not always want to associate any festivity. The situation changed only a couple of times. He did not exactly remember how he spent the first new year with someone alone; most likely, it was with a London boyfriend. It all started with the traditional gathering, a table full of dishes, at which mutual friends sat, of which Chris knew only three. And at the very end, when he got bored and began to get ready to go home, the guy followed him, only to leave the party without arousing suspicion. Their relationship was already falling apart then, and they were going to go to each respective home as soon as they got out of the entrance.
However, the magic of New Year's Eve decided to send a bewitchingly beautiful snowfall to Earth. For about five minutes, the two stood with their heads raised towards the sky, not wanting to take their eyes off the slender round dance of smoothly swirling lush lumps of snowflakes, and something happened at that moment. The two set off in the same direction without exchanging a word and spent that snowy night together. It was their last night of love, and they both tried to make it memorable. They knew that in the morning they would wake up as different people – changed inside and with changed feelings towards each other – strangers.
Chris's insides were trembling slightly when he approached the staff room. He knew that Tau would be inside and most likely alone. Or rather, he would like the transplantologist to be alone. Chris needed some time, their time to validate what they discussed and agreed upon, so to speak. And he could not – didn't want to – postpone the action until the end of the day, not even until lunch.
"You're early today, kri," Chris hesitated for a fraction of a second, entering the room. Tau was at his desk, apparently working on those reports from yesterday. He hoped that it didn't mean that the zirka was still working on them since yesterday!? "Don't they usually give a day off after such a long and probably tiring trip?"
Tau hesitated just as much but quickly recovered and smiled relaxed, "They do but it is not really in our nature to crave for a day off," he squinted while Chris slowly approached him with a slight smile as Tau talked. "Aren't you too early though? Did you sleep well?"
"It was a long night and I'm glad it's over," the young man leaned in and pressed his lips to Tau's. Tau stood up to hug him, not breaking the kiss, but then he heard something and a thought to break off crossed his mind at the same very moment as Chris strengthened his grip on Tau's back and then it was too late – the door opened letting a loud couple in.
"He really said that I swear–" There was a gasp and, "Well, fuck me twice!"
Chris flinched so hard that he bumped his teeth against the Tau's and at the same time bit the tip of his tongue. Quickly recoiling from the zirka and turning around to face the door, he looked with frightened eyes at Madame Marie and Rangira, who looked at the men with the same eyes and jaws dropped.
Chris groaned softly and tried to lick his lips nervously; his tongue stung and he put his hand over his mouth as if that could help soothe the pain. Tau turned out to be the most imperturbable at that moment, he stood in front of Chris, took his hand away and with a demanding, "Let me see", pressed his fingers on the young man's chin. Chris obeyed and, opening his mouth slightly, stuck out his tongue for inspection. The skin folded between the zirka's brow arches.
"You bit it through." The transplantologist decided his verdict and opened one of the drawers in his table, rummaged through it, found a small vial of antiseptic and sprinkled it on the damaged body part. Chris gasped again and quickly closed his mouth, looking offended at the Grinch. Then he realized that he, in fact, was not to blame at all, and turned his displeased look at the ladies, who had already recovered from the shock and simply stood watching the unfolding drama.
"Rangie, baby, you treat," François nodded her head.
"With pleasure," the other replied, smiling sweetly at Chris and Tau.
"So, today we have Jeremiah?" Madame clarified, gathering her stuff, "at ten o'clock?"
"Yes," Tau confirmed. "Is O.R. ready?"
Chris cleared his throat, "Yes, I checked, the interns are there this morning. That is, since earlier in the morning, Shirokawa is testing them for strength, it seems to me."
"The old man does not lose it with age," Madame commented.
"No, he doesn't," Tau chuckled. "Where is he, by the way?"
"Oh, he asked yesterday not to wait for him for the beginning." Rangira remarked softly, "he said... wanted to get some sleep... finally."
Everyone involved in the conversation snickered softly.
"Well, then I'm leaving to see what the interns managed to break there," Marie headed for the door. "Rangie, are you with me?"
"I'll join you shortly," she nodded, "Wanna fetch some results at the lab."
"Wonderful!" Madame grinned and looked at both men. "Don't go overboard, we still need your golden hands and brilliant mind, professor." She winked and was off. Rangira followed suit.
"Women these days," Chris laughed lightly when they were left alone again. "Well," he looked at Tau, "that was fast. Is it bad that they know?"
"Why do you think it might be bad?" Tau asked, showing sudden alarm.
"I'm not sure really." Chris shrugged. "Are we breaching any regulations? Like, you know, no staff dating etcetera, etcetera."
"No, I don't think so," Tau smiled and put his arms around Chris.
The young man turned in the circle of his arms and looked into his face. "You were saying?"
Tau leaned in until he could feel Chris's warmth on his face. "I didn't finish." He whispered into Chris's mouth.