"I have to think about all this."
With these words, Chris ended their conversation with Shirokawa and Erzketau.
Although he promised to think, he really did not want to, because as soon as he began to think, an inexplicable anxiety hit him immediately. He did not remember how he got to his studio. The truth was unexpected and thick which made it harder sinking in. Chris just wasn't sure how did he feel about the given information. No, he wasn't going to run moping around and blame himself upfront for the refusal he was so eager to voice. After all, he is a free man born in a free Coalition. He believed that no one would look at him askance. Everyone has their own worries, there are enough volunteers, and plenty of those who want to devote themselves to the experiment to the fullest. However, something incomprehensible, something strange, some elusive feeling that he could not identify; the haunting sensation that did not immediately let him to say "no". It was not about curiosity – a common thing for Chris to feel. He also had it somewhere in the back of his head, waving banners "Do it!" But not only that.
The first thing Chris did when he got home, was plugging in the neural drive to the monitors and go filling in the gaps in extracurricular education. Josh was absolutely right, the promo was exceptional. He "went" around the entire building from the first to the sixth floors, took part in all quests, from fertilization of the proto-cell to nearly transplanting the module to a digital dummy. He also observed the embryo evolution in the module up to the tenth week – this is all that the module autonomous operation allowed; for further development, much more was needed, something that was difficult to provide without a "carrier's body". They also provided many theoretical points. The tour "group" was led around the floors and rooms by Madame Marie Francois – the chief physician of the complex, a scientific adviser specializing in the development, improvement, and application of medical technologies, remedial and hardware, both in the earthly race and in Zirkaazte. This woman is a doctor of biological, medical, chemical sciences, who has written more than just one mandatory dissertation and is probably working in the meantime on few more. The only woman, and maybe the only human individual, recognized by an extraterrestrial race as an honored specialist. And, while moving from one location to another, she voiced basic information like how the surgeries will be conducted, who can take part; she talked a lot about safety-for-humans, both of the module itself and of the whole procedure.
(Hmm...? – Chris thought to himself. – They actually visualized almost all of the theoretical material that students were allowed to access. Though, I can't fully grasp the mechanism of ovum release. Whom should I ask? Can the coordinators know how this will work exactly?)
The module is something in between, or rather combining the features of the uterus of the earthly woman and the female Zirkaazte, since their race has undergone gene modification for much longer and already more adaptive to any new changes executed to the genome.
Doctor Francois explained the differences between the uterus modules – created with advanced biomodelling technology, and the women's reproductive system, the alterations in the conception processes, for example, the fact that sexual intercourse alone is not a way to become pregnant. Therefore, those who want to actually have a child will need to resort to IVF technology. In addition, natural births are not an option. Besides, what is important to know for those who are not ready to become a dad – such as Chris – this whole party is not mandatory. The experiment is vital, but any, even minor assistance, as a result of which data will be obtained on the basis of which it will be possible to make more specific predictions and continue to improve developments in this project, will be considered a huge contribution. One can refuse or agree, can stop their participation at any point. In fact, hearing it aloud again, Chris realized that he had made a decision. Nevertheless, one more small idea had occurred to him that he wanted to realize on the sly.
The next day after lunch, they had an hour in the laboratory, and then were supposed to engage in the self-study for the rest of the day. While in his studio, Chris devoted some time to the thesis. After working on it a couple hours, he left to the kitchen corner to make some snack, thoughtful, at the same time recalling the vital conversation he had with the professor earlier this morning. Although, no matter how many times he scrolled through it, his plan did not seem to him either bold or audacious. Even more than that, it seemed to him that they were expecting from him something of the sort.
"Shirokawa-san, I'm sorry for the intrusion," Chris apologized for coming uninvited and with no prior notice.
"Stop the nonsense, Chris. On the contrary, it's good you came just now, I need to leave today for a short while to the mainland, so we clearly could miss each other," professor explained and then encouraged, "Come in, sit down, say what you wanted."
"Shirokawa-san, I've come to tell you that I've thought it over," Chris began.
"Yes," the professor made clear that he was keeping up.
"I agree with you and with coordinator Erzketau, this is not the case when one can stay away."
"Chris, I really appreciate that. Not only I, really, as you already know that. I wanted to hope that you would make such a decision," his words were filled with warm gratitude; he even jumped up from his chair and almost rushed to hug Chris.
"But I want something in return," Chris said in a rush surprising both himself and Shirokawa.
Professor raised his brow scrutinizing Chris with suspicious eyes, a slight smile in his gaze. He was silent for two seconds, then grunted, rounded the table, stood in front of Chris, and, slyly squinting his eye, said:
"That's intriguing. Come on, spill it."
"Sir, please do not consider this as rudeness, but I would like to participate in the experiment not only as a test subject, but also as an assistant," he blurted out.
Professor watched him, hesitating with an answer.
"I'm not asking for any serious tasks right away, just to observe, to help with sorting the data, I don't know... to serve you water in the surgery room! However, I want to be in a team, I need to be there when the experiment enters the active phase, I want to understand the whole process and learn from you, and be useful not only with my hormone diagram and all potential benefits," he suddenly felt embarrassed and shut up. "Sorry," he muttered, his eyes dropped to the floor.
"Chris, I don't know what to say. I'm afraid I'm just not ready to give you any answer at all. But, you do understand that in fact we will be assisted by graduate students who..."
"Yes sir. Excuse me, sir, I understand all this and..." He was embarrassed even more, grasping the meaning of what he was going to do right now. "Sir, only knowing that I will be allowed to observe the implantations and have access to analytical data I can do this – go for the implantation myself."
"Bwa-ha-ha!" a roaring laughter shook the office and rang in Chris's ears. He squeezed into a chair so hard that his legs went numb, not sure whether to give in to excitement that he was courage enough, or to fear that he would simply be expelled for such behavior. "You're a dark horse, Mister Newman, aren't you? Not as easy as you pretend to be!" Professor beamed at him, putting hands on his hips. "So it's either my 'yes' or your 'no'?"
Not giving too much trust to his vocal chords, Chris simply nodded, staring firmly, or rather squinting.
"Hmm. This should be curious. Let's do it."
Now, by all means, he had to finish his thesis as soon as possible, despite Shirokawa's assurances that this was not necessary if he will accept the offer and proceed with the experiment. Such condescension never comforted a young man; forcing events is only a small difficulty, and such challenges never frightened him. The fact that he might soon join the Shirokawa's group meant a lot to him. This is not just a step forward, rather a huge leap. If he continued to work on the seeds and attended lectures, it would take him at least another year before graduating and entering postgraduate school in order to get the head coordinator's approval to take a place among the students who are ahead of him now. He didn't even want to think of the gap in knowledge if implantations were launched now, before he could join! Chris shuddered imagining how much he will miss out.
So in fact, he needed to do the impossible. First, get the theses done ahead of all his cohorts. Second, to brush up and move heavily forward in several subjects to reach the level of postgraduates-to-be and pass the first stage of exams for Shirokawa, that is, catch up with the seniors in three months. Professor will consider his request if Chris can get at least 70% for the test. Third (and thinking this point through, Chris felt strong anxiety for in his understanding this idea was doomed to failure as soon as it flew out of the mouth of the Japanese old man) he must convince Erzketau-kri. Without him and his materials on transplantology, Chris will not be able to get a pass score in any way, well, also without this knowledge; he has nothing to do in the surgery rooms, and even in the examination rooms. In fact, what most likely meant that old cunning professor, if greenie gives the go-ahead, then everything else no longer mattered. Nauseated and panicking as he was, he understood clearly that it was too late to back down. Anyway, he already decided this for himself, dealt with the implantation application, and it was purely his own trouble how to get his place in the group. It was just another test. That's why Chris consumed the précises, formulas, theories and hypotheses provided by Shirokawa during the day, and after the lectures, he set out his own theories on botany, substantiating, and backing up with his laboratory data, and for about 56 hours he hatched a plan for cracking up the zirka in question.
"I will fail before he counts to 'two'," Chris muttered sulkily under his breath, while the zirka continued his lecture, "Or maybe even 'one'..."
"What are you mumbling there?" Josh asked absently, not taking his eyes off the screen in the center of the audience.
"Josh, how can you bribe the lizard?"
"What? What are you talking about?" a friend cast a wild glance at him. "Are you writing science fiction?"
"I need to get something… from the zirka… what he is unlikely be happy to grant... certainly not. But I need it desperately," Chris whispered hysterically. "Who in our group is the best in 'Zirkaazte culture and behavior'?"
"Are you kidding? You mean, is there anyone better than you are?" Tumblin laughed. "Wait... hold on, are you talking about this zirka in particular? You need to press Mr. Grinch, or what?" He motioned his head towards the rostrum.
"Yes."
"Listen man, no advice will help you, because if it's something you think he won't give you, then there's not a chance any of us will succeed. He doesn't take us as adults or trustworthy or worthy of his time and attention until we graduate, as if we're not human enough to go and talk to him at all. If it were up to him, he wouldn't let us dissect flat worms before we obtain PhD. He despises us; that stare of his is… chills me out, it wouldn't even occur to me to go to him with a request. You're crazy as... Oh, crap..." Josh fell silent, stiffening in his chair, his eyes fixed on the lecturer.
Chris followed his gaze and bumped on a professor's who stared at them slightly grinning. All students were busy taking notes, so it wasn't something extremely hard to spot the source of excessive noise in the auditorium. They got busted. Teachers usually took it easy. Performance, attendance, and general commitment to the knowledge and studying process were entirely on the students' conscience, but... this one glowering at them in this instance was of other type. He just stood there, staring at them with his black gaze, and from the look, it was clear that he already had a vile plan how will he deal with troublemakers.
All of his insides froze. He will surely screw this up; was there even a point in asking him today? Even if he'd consider that Josh is right and greenie is more lenient to Chris for some reason, now it was clearly not the best moment. However, there was no time to wait for a better moment – it was essential to get every piece together!
"Ah, Newman-kri," the zirka finally noted his presence when Chris walked to the teaching table, and addressed him respectfully, but with a note of superiority in his voice, which was new to Chris and hearing such tone wasn't really pleasant. "Did you still assume that Tumblin-kri explains today's material worse than me?"
Chris sighed, taking in a full chest of air, and exhaled slowly. Yes, the zirka communicated with the vast majority of students in this way. He ought to play nice and low at his period today. Nevertheless, he had long ceased to fear this 'chilly' look. He never felt chilled out looking into this impenetrable depth of aliens' eyes. Moreover, he caught himself so many times that one glance into the bottomless eyes was enough to feel calmed and at ease instantly. It was not clear to him, why do humans feel awkward with direct eye contact with Zirkaazte. It wasn't in the nature of the green lizards to yell or scold, talk angrily or even frown to repulse the interlocutor. Their faces were usually relaxed and composed, like serenity itself. Erzketau lived on Earth much longer than the major rest of zirks, having arrived here to continue the work of his father and grandfather, according to some reports about fifty years ago, and that is why he had a wider range of emotions and their manifestations, but Chris's classmates interpreted them only as contempt and arrogance. Nevertheless, it was total rubbish that the black eyes were scary because they didn't have the pupils. First, they had pupils. Perhaps one could not get this if they constantly hide their eyes. Yet, once the psychological barrier overcome, it immediately becomes clear that blackness does not fill the whole eye, but brightens from the center to the corners. Such a large, unusual pupil, which, however, also reacts to external and internal stimuli.
"I solemnly apologize for my behavior. I have shown disrespect towards your hard-working. This happened unintentionally, and I in no way had the intention of insulting you personally," Chris said sincerely, looking fearlessly straight in Erzketau's eyes.
The zirka's face to soften, the smile developed a more friendly shade.
"There's no need to be so formal, Newman-kri. You are not one to misbehave without a reason, there had to be something that greatly puts you off. It happens to the best of us. "
Chris listened to Erzketau as if he heard him for the first time really.
(Damn it, Josh is right; he's really softer with me! Maybe this'll work after all...)
"Erzketau-kri, I need your help," – (Please listen and agree!)
"What kind of?" Zirka folded hands on his chest and raised his eyebrows.
"I want to file an enrollment application to the seventh building assistants' team, where the third phase will take place," Chris said firmly.
"What?" He hardly did not understand, but was definitely surprised, even his ears twitched. "Newman-kri, I'm afraid I'll have to reject..."
"No, please listen! (No, no, no! – Chris bellowed internally) I understand that I am not yet qualified enough, but I am ready to make up for the volume of theory that I lack. I'll need to keep up with an in-depth biochemistry, human reproduction and transplantology in the first place, which I have already begun to do, and I intend to complete and finalize my thesis ahead of schedule, as well as..."
"As well as getting the approval of two more head coordinators at least. Why don't you start with them? Though I'm not sure that..."
"Please, kri, there's only yours I need!" Chris blocked zirka's path to the way out, as Erzketau was right about to leave the audience; he was on the edge, struggling staying calm, although he was almost ready to spread his arms, just to prevent the coordinators from leaving. "In addition, Professor Shirokawa..."
"Shirokawa?" Zirka asked guardedly. "What about him?"
"Um..."
"You have asked him, haven't you? Did he agree?" Erzketau asked a bit harshly. The atmosphere has gotten slightly chiller.
"He said that... he would think it over," Chris said uncertainly, glancing sideways.
"He will, of course," zirka grunted and squinted, taking a slow step toward Chris, who remained on his spot. "He will think, but he has already provided you with the materials and even suggested few candidates you need to go and flirt to get the place? What exactly have you done for him to 'think'?" He was now towering over Chris; the student blanched.
"You are mistaken," Chris said calmly, emphasizing each word. Zirka's assumption hurt him very much, but the young man understood that he had no right to succumb to his feelings now, otherwise his idea and first priority goal would inevitably fail. With a sigh he continued: "Erzketau-kri, I'm sorry, but you're wrong. All I want is to make every effort and bring maximum benefit to the future of my race."
"If this is true, then all you have to do is submit an application and get into the implantation schedule," zirka said gritting his teeth, still annoyed.
"I've already did that," Chris answered pushing further.
The reaction was silence. Erzketau straightened up and nodded to himself.
"Kazuaki, of course, is in the know," he said after a pause in the affirmative, but still as if asking.
"Yes, Professor Shirokawa knows, he was the one accepting my application."
Although Erzketau apparently did not notice that he called professor by first name, but Chris did also remember how zirka had done the same in the professor's office. There was no doubt that these two got along well. For how long had they been working together? Chris suddenly wanted to google1 when has Erzketau arrived on Earth and how old he is.
"And in what am I mistaken? Newman-kri, this is how you're trying to convince me that you are not trading your body? Let it be in the name of science..." Erzketau pointed out shaking his head disapprovingly.
"No I'm not. I do what I must. I provide myself with access to your knowledge and experience, which I am going to use for the benefit of the project as soon as possible. Do you think this is a trading? In my opinion, this is an effective management of the assets available to obtain the unavailable ones for the sake of the efficiency increase. Investing in myself and investing myself in."
Zirka examined Chris with an unreadable gaze for a while, thinking. Then he said:
"I understand your impulse, Chris, but I can't approve," and, seeing that Chris was about to put up a rebel again, put his hand on his shoulders, squeezing a little, as if trying to convey the idea not only by word, but also by touch. "I am sure that you will cope with all the material, as you intended, but without practical skills you can't get access to the seventh building."
Zirka walked away, leaving Chris boiling on the spot.
***
Chris was able to calm down after professor's refusal a lot later, when the light yellow autumn sun has already sank into the sea, and the twilight hit the ground. Only being honest with himself, he did realize that this was to be expected. Well, he was prepared to sweat a lot but push Erzketau to make things his way. Too much was at stake, and he has already wound up. All that he needed was to come up with an effective plan. Or a few.
While he was searching for some serious idea, he simply took the habit of approaching the m-estrogen program coordinator and voicing the request. When zirka's mood was clearly not the best, Chris didn't talk to him, but after the transplantology period was over, he linked his tab to the classroom projection board and draw formulas, hypotheses, or something different, based on Shirokawa's material – all that he had learned way ahead of the current program of his subject. A couple of times before the lesson, the lecturer was greeted with the inscription 'Please' on the board written in Chris's hand in nine generally accepted languages, including Sirka. Interestingly, Erzketau did not show any negative emotions to such tricks. He reacted calmly and did not try to run away from the audience until the young man finished the next attempt to show his effort and dedication to the idea of being accepted. He studied carefully the information on the board without expressing any particular emotion, and only then rewarded Chris with a confident refusal before leaving.
On the way to the sports complex, Chris continued to sort out the options for how to persuade or appease, or force greenie to give in. Showing off his brainy abilities was not enough. He tried following him everywhere like a tail, ambushing in the corridors, classrooms, dining room, but with no result. All he did was entertained the scientific coordinator and that's it. Spamming with e-mails was also not an option – physically he did not have enough time to write letters as frequently to the extent that they could shake zirka. As for those that Chris had sent, Erzketau even bothered to answer: correctly, unambiguously, and in a single line manner. Like that, with boiling brains that clearly required a reboot, Chris was on his way to relieve stress. Behind all these worries with his thesis and an impregnable alien, he merely paid attention to physical activity, somehow justifying himself by the morning five minutes at home. Well, today is a good chance to hang on rings or bars.
The atmosphere inside the gym was livelier than usual. The sounds of group trainings and inventory rattling came from different corners. Chris changed clothes, grabbed a clean towel. On the way to the training room, Chris carefully looked away from the martial arts sparring hall - he was emotionally depressed and completely depleted; he did not want to face the zirka after his systematic failures. On the other hand, why not! Chris froze as a sudden idea formed in his brain. A crazy idea, which required immediate execution. Having paced two steps back, he nevertheless peaked into the tatami hall, but saw only students practicing there.
He rushed into the locker room, jumped into uniform, grabbed a bag, and rushed back to the study buildings. He paused in the entrance hall, looking around and wondering where Erzketau-kri might be right now. He went to the reception bot, introduced himself, and requested the supervisor's schedule, but was denied this information due to lack of access rights. The search with his subject brought him the schedule for seniors, but today all the transplantology classes have already ended.
"Where can you be?"
There was no end to answers, starting from any laboratory, and there were more than two hundred of labs in the research center; finishing with the medical building and the seventh building. He went up to the administrative floor in the hope that, as a teacher, greenie could be there, but didn't have any luck with this idea. Shirokawa had his own office as the headmaster of Biosphere II, but for all the years of study, Chris once never required to know whether is the office of the head and descendant of the founder of the M-estrogen program. He had to do his head-stuff somewhere, hadn't ne?
"Maybe he has gone for dinner?" Chris asked himself aloud.
"Who?" Someone inquired from behind.
"Josh? What are you doing here?" Chris asked, surprised.
"I was at Shirokawa's, talked about the graduation dissertation," a friend explained. "And you?"
Chris sighed mournfully and said in a deadly tone:
"Looking for the lizard."
"Any luck?" friend asked him, aware of the classmate's dilemma.
"Nope. But have some thoughts," Chris told vigorously. "And I need to find him. Do you know where his office is?"
"Now you surprised me a lot. How did it happen that you don't know?"
"Well... I just managed solving all issues while in classroom. For today, his periods are over and he's not in the gym – I checked already."
"You know, I think no one will die if you text him in a group chat or just wait for the next class, which we have in two days," Josh spoke his opinion. "And while we are going to party thrown by Ivan and his neighbors in the block, I will show you where his office is."
"So you know!? Lead now!" Chris protested.
"But you will not approach him now!" Josh said with pressure. "You'll go and hang out with your classmates, whom you have already forgotten. We'll eat and drink, you will tell me what plan you've come up with and take your time to sort your thoughts out. Otherwise, if you will show up in front of him in such an excited state, he will decide that you came to slaughter him."
"Grrr," Chris was not entirely satisfied, but agreed with Tumbling's reasoning for the most part, so he simply obeyed.
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to google (v.) – Yeah, I know it's been a thousand years from now, different coding and operating system, and search engines, but hey, this idiom could travel in time just like any other, right? :)