It was a hot summer day. Alphonse is having a blast reading P. G. Wodehouse's Aunts aren't Gentleman in cool air conditioned room. Alphonse was the kind of guy who used to read science and math books mostly until he was introduced to Wodehouse by his friend. It was about lunch time and Alphonse has no inspiration to cook on such hot days. He went out to get Some Naans and Chicken Tikka Masala at the nearby Indian restaurant. Alphonse loved curry. While he was walking on the street, he heard a faint sound of racing car. He ignored it and kept on walking but unfortunately the driver had lost control and rammed the car into Alphonse who was at the corner.

Alphonse woke up. The last thing he remembered was sound of rushing car. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't see anything. Everything was dark. For a moment he wondered if he was blind then suddenly an old woman popped out from nowhere.

"Welcome to the afterlife"

Alphonse cried in surprise.

"Wait, what the dickens? I'm dead?"

"Yes, you are."

"Who the dickens are you?"

"Technically, I'm also human but lot more capable of what a human can do or think. You can say I'm father to all humans or even god. On second thought, don't call me god. It feels odd."

"Huh. Who would have thought that god would be woman."

"True but I believe gender is just a social construct."

"This isn't some elaborate prank by hospital staff to fool me, right?"

"That would be good prank but this is as real as it gets. If you are not convinced, see if you can touch yourself"

Alphonse raised his hand towards his face and tried to touch his face. It just went through his face to other side. He didn't feel anything. He was weirded out. If he has died, how can his self still exists. He still retains his consciousness, his beliefs, opinions, likes and dislikes.

"You're surprised that you still retain consciousness even after death. I can see that considering the type of person you are."

"Yes, I'm absolutely baffled. I thought death would be the end of everything mental. Nothing more than bunch of organic waste."

"Logically, true. Your knowledge comes from the science of early 21st century where humans haven't yet mastered their bodies. Consciousness or Qualia is something that is in your soul."

"Soul? What kind of nonsense are you talking about?

"Not nonsense, my lad. Souls are real but they weren't detected by humans yet. They couldn't sense it or find it. It is like conservation of energy or gravitational field. You know it exists but you couldn't feel it. Our knowledge and science is limited by the things we observe and sense around."

"True, soul sounds very vague. By the way why did you kill me so early in life? It isn't like I am a bad person. I am just a normal guy."

"Huh, what? I killed you? You think everyone is being judged by someone? No way, no one cares about what you people do in your small worlds. You know how much work it is to watch over every single person and judge them? Huh, I forgot that you people once thought you were the center of universe. Anyway, we will only interfere when people do what they aren't supposed to do."

"I see, that makes sense. So there is no such thing as heaven and hell, I guess? What happens to me now?"

"Heaven and Hell are made by you people to more or less direct people in certain way although I don't think it did any real good. Anyway it doesn't matter as everyone gets fresh start in their next life. So, which alternate universe would you like to go?"

"I don't know. Send me somewhere interesting, somewhere opposite to earth but I wouldn't remember anything right?"

"Okay and yes, you won't remember anything. It is time to clean your soul of it's experiences and memories."

The old woman pointed her hand towards Alphonse and muttered something. Alphonse felt something odd in his body but it didn't last long. She was surprised.

"An irregular after so many centuries. This will be interesting."

"Irregular? What do you mean?"

"Irregulars are someone who has their soul mutated or corrupted through unknown means. They are powerful souls wielding great powers and if they are not checked, they would be nuisance/ disturbing the natural flow of world. I may have to kill you."

"Powerful? I'm helpless and you want to kill me. You should give me a chance at least. By killing do you mean killing the soul? How do you do that?"

"That's a secret. Maybe, I should give you second chance but most irregulars have been nutcases."

"I believe everyone is crazy to some extent but they see themselves as normal and others crazy. If they think they are crazy then they won't do crazy things."

"Indubitably. Alright, here you go. Have fun and most importantly be sensible."

The old woman whispered something again which froze Alphonse's body. He was unable to move and after couple of seconds his legs disappeared. He didn't feel any pain but he had no legs and was still able to stand. Another couple of seconds later, his hands disappeared. He felt no pain but nervous not knowing what will happen and where she will go.

"How come I am floating in air, is this some king of magic?"

"Your body is an illusion. You don't have a body now. What you're seeing what you desire to see. You are a soul now. Souls don't have any mass"

"Interesting"

Now Alphonse's torso and head disappeared leaving behind small round transparent ball which is floating in air which is the soul.

Seeing Alphonse's soul Old Woman thought, "So this is the irregular's soul. It looks more transparent than normal souls. Definitely not a normal one. My spell just passed through the soul and I was unable to kill him. I hope this one doesn't cause chaos in the new world. I could seal the soul but I am not sure how long it will last."

Alphonse's soul then got sucked up by some force left the place. Alphonse woke up again and it was all dark again. He could feel his extremities and know that he is just too small. He wondered if he is in some kind of laboratory or maybe inside some woman's womb. He sensed that he was being pushed. He could hear some people speaking but he couldn't understand what they are saying. After a while, he was forcibly pushed out of the thing he was in.

Alphonse was out. It seemed like ages since he felt real. He was cold and uncomfortable. The lady that was holding Alphonse looked at him lovingly and cleaned him up and wrapped him in cloth. Alphonse felt warm and comfortable with everything wrapped up, he felt sleepy and soon he was asleep.

Meanwhile the mother who gave birth, caught up some air and turned towards blonde haired burly man who was watching the baby, "Honey, how is the baby? Is it boy or girl?"

"It is a boy babe and he looks handsome like his father."

The lady who was taking care of Alphonse listened to the conversation and chuckled. She turned to the hairy blonde man and sarcastically said, "Which mirror do you use Herald? There must be something wrong with your mirror. I hope he takes after our father looks wise. What do you say sis?" She looked towards the woman in bed.

"I don't know Angela. I just hope the boy grows healthy."

Herald who was still engrossed over his new born didn't pay much attention to his sister-in-law's comment and replied with a plain face smiling at his son, "There goes your aunt Angela. I hope you don't pick up this sarcasm from your aunt Alphonse."

Angela was about to say something back but she was interrupted by her sister.

"Alright, settle down you two. This would go on forever. Let Alphonse rest."