I have never considered myself an ambitious person or someone who has a lot of desires, but don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want women or a lot of money like everyone else, but rather, they are not within my priorities.
I live my day-to-day life, working, eating, going out with friends, coming home, and sleeping, on the weekends I go for a run alone, and watch TV when I get home or get a little ahead of whatever work I have piled up.
And then on Monday again my morning routine begins as I get on the train from Edogawa to Shinjuku to go to work in my typical black cloth suit, with a white shirt, blue tie, and brown shoes.
That's how it is, always the same, and everyday life like any other, and...
It was then that I realized something extremely important as I left the train station in Shinjuku.
I fell on my knees and then on my arms as if I were on all fours, as I reflected on my life and then I figured it out...
«I'm so boring.»
What the heck have you been doing Hiroshi Yoshida, since I was a kid I was only dedicated to studying, I had little social life and I never managed to date a girl for the same reasons.
With my parents I didn't talk much, although they were always by my side when I needed them, and now...
At 27 years old, I only work in an accounting office, with average pay, with low social life, and still without a girlfriend.
A tall, black-haired, above-average muscular guy like me should have no difficulty finding a girl, and yet...
«Nothing has changed since then, damn, I want a girlfriend, damn, have more friends and a better salary damn it.»
Thinking about all that, I was getting more and more depressed, I thought that letting myself be driven by my desires was something I should refrain from, but how long should I wait for something good to happen to me?
With determination, I stood up, and with my fist clenched in front of my face a new goal was opening its doors before me and then I started walking.
«You will see, from this very moment I will begin to live my life as I wish, there are no more excuses.»
The first step was to demand a raise from my boss for all the hard work I've done over the past few years, and if he refused, I could always look for a new job that paid better or at least had a better work environment.
Then I'll visit my parents, I haven't seen them in over two years, we've kept in touch by phone, but now I think that's not enough, and then I'll get together with some old classmates and maybe we'll go out on one of those group dates, even if it's extremely embarrassing.
"But I guess fate had something else in store for me."
—Bewa... —Without finishing the word I ran towards a girl.
She was a high school girl, from the badge on her vest, she must have belonged to Horikoshi High School.
She had shoulder-length hair, her face was good looking, probably at her age I would have been crazy about her, but now I can only see a young girl with a beautiful future ahead of her, and finally, her green eyes conveyed a feeling of regret, fear, and surprise.
I guess it's a logical response to what just happened, after all, I just saved her from being hit by a truck, but unfortunately, I took her place, I guess it's kind of like the equivalent exchange, one life for another, I remember reading about this event somewhere, but now I can't remember where it was.
I have always done this kind of things without thinking about the consequences since I was little even though I didn't have many friends, I always tried to help with all my strength to those who needed it, and I used to risk a lot, like in one occasion where a cat was trapped at the top of a tree and I climbed to try to rescue it, but I only ended up breaking my leg, although the cat was rescued shortly after by the firefighters.
But if you were to ask me why I do it, the only answer I could give would be that, it's in my nature after all this girl was not paying attention, as she was looking at her phone, maybe answering a message while listening to music with her headphones, many would say it would be fine to just let her die for her stupidity, but I'm not one of them.
The day I stop caring about other living things, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to call myself human again.
«Haaaa, I guess this is that end of the line.»
Even though it was a boring life, I think it wasn't a bad life, if I regret anything, it would be that I didn't realize sooner what I had to do to really start living.
What should I do to calm this girl who is watching me with a face so horrified by what is about to happen, if I'm wrong maybe she will be traumatized for life, I would prefer her to just turn a blind eye and leave as if nothing had happened, but I guess that's impossible, huh?
Time seems to move much slower in the moments before I die, so as I watched the girl, I smiled with an "everything will be fine" expression, although I don't know if it conveyed the calm I wanted to convey, and then I said...
—Live more carefully. —That short sentence made time move forward normally again.
I won't lie to you, it hurt a lot, the impact of the truck against my slender body broke all my bones from the torso down and when I fell on the ground, my head hit the pavement so my vision became a little blurry and my ears were ringing with great intensity, surprisingly I didn't die at that instant but I felt that I didn't have much time left maybe a few seconds.
All my senses were slowly being lost, my mouth which had a metallic taste, I no longer tasted anything, breathing was becoming difficult and painful, I tried to move my arms slightly, but apparently without realizing it the bones in my arms had also shattered like those in my legs.
«So, this is how it feels to know that you are going to die soon, I wonder if any Shinigami will appear at the last second before my death.»
I was never really someone very religious, I don't even visit temples very often, although I do remember when I was a kid you saw a temple together with my parents, I always used to play around, if I'm not mistaken in that place rested the Goddess... Oinari, I wonder why I will remember that now, maybe this... is... when your life passes in fro...nt of… your... eyes.
It was getting harder and harder to think and stay conscious, and in my last moments I looked at the girl, who had apparently come to help me, she was whispering some words as if they were a prayer.
And although I couldn't hear her, I knew she was apologizing countless times.
«Seriously I'm a go…od for no…thing, let…ting a gi…rl, c…ry beca…use of… me.»
With that last thought, my consciousness completely shut down.
That day, Hiroshi Yoshida had permanently left the world of the living.
「︿︿︿︿︿︿❀︿︿︿︿︿︿」
It all felt very strange and unreal at first, after all not many people have had the experience of dying and being reborn without losing the memories of their previous life, and maybe even the fact that I was reborn was something unique on my part.
But who would have imagined that my rebirth would be this way, maybe it would have been too much to ask to be reborn as a human, but this was definitely unexpected.
After losing consciousness in that accident, I thought my existence would disappear completely, but without knowing how much time had passed, I woke up as a newborn animal with all my memories intact.
And I don't mean an animal as an example of a person's characteristic, but literally an animal, a kind of wolf to be exact, although I didn't know it immediately since I couldn't see my reflection anywhere, rather it was by logic due to the birth from the womb of my new mother, who cleaned me with her tongue and took care of me until I could move on my own.
We were a rather large pack comprising a number of approximately 120 wolf beasts, and I along with my new seven siblings were always running and playing around the forest we were in.
In reality, although it was a bit confusing at first to be reincarnated as an animal, I simply decided to face it as something inevitable and naturally follow my instincts, in order to live in this new life that was given to me.
The adults in our pack, are approximately two meters tall by two and a half meters long on all fours, the males being slightly larger than the females, that is one of the reasons why I can't call them wolves, as they are quite a bit bigger than the ones I knew where I used to live.
While we do resemble wolves quite a bit in general shape, as for our fur, it is vastly more resilient than any material I have ever touched before, even though it feels strangely soft to the touch.
At first, because I had a misconception of how animals communicate, I thought I would have to be barking or roaring constantly to communicate with my brothers and the rest of the pack, but I was completely wrong.
We animals use our whole body to communicate, from our paws to our tail and ears, and our eyes are very useful when it comes to give a signal or send a brief message, it is as if we were reading each other's minds while staring at each other.
The months and years went by rather quickly, although I stopped caring about the time after the first month, so I only cared about the day and night.
I didn't really have any major worries beyond hunting and the annoying fleas that would get on us from time to time as we wallowed around the forest.
Nor did we have the fear of being attacked by some other larger beast or the like, after all, we were the strongest species in this forest.
A quiet and peaceful life, a pleasant rebirth, I felt very happy to be able to have this new life experience.
Or at least that's how I felt before "he" appeared in this forest.
The one who took away all the happiness I had in this new life.
The one who submerged me in a sea of anger and became a target for revenge.
And the one who committed the unforgivable act of taking my family away from me.
As soon as "the beast tamer" set foot in this forest my world as I knew it in this new lease on life disappeared in the blink of an eye.