Chereads / Vanishing Embers / Chapter 101 - Blur

Chapter 101 - Blur

For days, Aisha trudged in the direction of the sunrise, her feet barely making any print in the ground. Mountains, desert, forest… started to blend together into a blur of nothingness, as her thoughts, too, started to muddle together.

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The days became weeks.

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(This wouldn't take nearly as long if you just walked faster.)

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"I'm hungry." Aisha complained.

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(You just ate an entire deer!)

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Aisha frowned as she looked at her blood-ridden hands, and the carcasses that surrounded her. Aiyu was right, she should be full enough to burst. Hell, she had even stolen the souls from some poor, naive bandits, and yet, she felt empty.

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Her teeth grit, and she winced in pain as the pain in her stomach intensified, becoming sharp, like her skin was tearing. She let loose a gasp of pain as she turned on her side, ready to throw up. And yet nothing came out - despite how much she gagged, even when she put her fingers down her throat, her stomach, somehow, was completely empty.

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"What's happening!?" Aisha choked out. "It hurts, it hurts!"

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Aisha felt the skin on her abdomen scream in pain, and gasping for breath, she quickly lifted her shirt up, frantically looking for whatever the hell was tearing through her stomach.

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She didn't have to look for very long, as Aisha saw, with a terrified expression, the skin on her stomach begin to bulge and stretch, like something was trying to escape her abdomen.

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It wasn't long before the skin began to give way, and beads of blood began to form as the flesh stretched thinner and thinner, until finally, it ripped open, a tear opening on Aisha's stomach, almost a foot long.

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Brushing a bit of the sweat off her forehead, and panting heavily, the fey girl cautiously looked down, fearfully running a finger over the seam of the tear in her stomach. The churning in her stomach had stopped, and all that was left of the pain was the faint stinging from the edges of the wound. Strangely enough, even as the rip began to heal, the gap in her abdomen did not close, instead leaving a hole in the center of her chest, right below her breasts.

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Aisha removed the glove from her right hand, and despite Aiyu's protests, trembling with anxiety, she stuck a bare finger in the hole.

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"Eeek!" Aisha squealed, as she felt something… wet.

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(It's your insides! Of course it's wet!)

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"Um… yeah." Aisha said bashfully. "Uh…"

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Aisha stuck a dainty finger back in, and this time, Aisha pushed into herself for a good second before jerking back, her face pale.

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"Something licked my finger." Aisha whispered.

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Aiyu said nothing. Sure enough, after a few seconds, the pink of a little tongue poked out of Aisha's navel, lazily hanging outside of the cavity like a dog's tongue.

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"What the fuck…" Aisha whispered, as she reached down to poke at the tongue with her finger.

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Aisha shivered as her finger made contact. She could feel the tongue, but despite her best efforts, she couldn't seem to control it, the fleshy appendage moving completely out of instinct. Aisha was powerless as the little tongue started to lap at her finger.

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She was hesitant to reach further, but she did, reaching further into the cavity to find out where the hell the tongue came from. But she soon decided to stop when she poked something inside of her body that made her gasp, an unpleasant feeling that let her know that she was poking around where she was definitely not supposed to. In the end, Aisha was left panting, resting her back against a rock as she let the tongue lick her finger.

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"It tickles." Aisha whispered.

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.

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Aisha had decided to ignore the mouth in her stomach for the time being, despite how concerning it seemed. It just seemed… wrong, to reach into herself like that, and she didn't want to risk disturbing or inciting whatever the hell caused her to grow a mouth on her stomach.

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Neither she or Aiyu had control over it. It seemed to be anchored deep in Aisha's body, almost a meter deep.

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It didn't do much, save for drooling over her tummy and shirt - it was a little annoying, but she decided that fooling around with it in the middle of the mountains, infested with monsters and bandits, and far from any civilization, was a good idea.

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The fact that she wasn't all that worried about it… worried her slightly.

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It was indicative of her mind changing. Her thoughts and values. Physical changes she was fine with… but what if she stopped… wanting to please her mistress?

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What if eventually, she stopped loving her?

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.

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(Self doubt isn't going to help you this far in.) Aiyu whispered into her ears. (You might be free of the world of the humes, but there is no going back from this. From me.)

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"I don't intend on going back." Aisha mumbled, as she curled up on her side, trying desperately to get some warmth into her body. The cold stones beneath her chest did nothing in that regard, and the frigid mountain air didn't help either.

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There wasn't any fletching to start a fire, and the flames she conjured from her own body emit no heat.

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Figures… There was no way she could produce any warmth. She had never… made anything. Never created, only stolen from other people. There was nothing inside of her in the first place, so how could she give anything?

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"What's wrong with me…" Aisha sighed.

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But nobody responded. She half expected to hear the voice of someone she knew… some unknown ally, or someone who had decided to follow her… someone who had come back to life… anybody.

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But there really wasn't anything. Just her and her thoughts.

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Even Feng… the mysterious reaper, who seemed to be around her at all times, who was omnipresent in the cold…

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There was no life here to reap. Except for her own, Aisha supposed.

.

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*Crunch crunch crunch*

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Aisha's eyes slowly opened, hearing the faint sound of heavy bootfalls growing closer and closer.

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Nevermind. There in fact, were people stupid enough to be here with her.

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Or rather, a few unwilling people, led by one exceptionally stupid person.

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As in soldiers.

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"...we go back and ditch this suicide mission." A young, male voice said, poorly attempting to whisper.

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"Shut up!" Someone else hissed, much louder. "There are monsters here!"

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"We haven't run into monsters in days." A third, lax voice sighed. "Something is driving them off."

"Something does feel off."

"Why don't we just turn back?" The first voice said nervously. "People don't go here for a reason!"

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"The passes are too narrow to fit carts for an entire army. But we're just a small taskforce, this is fine!"

"I feel like you're missing the point-"

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Aisha felt a pair of eyes on her form, feigning sleep, and heard the sound of about a dozen pairs of boots coming to a halt all at once. They were powerful… at least for soldiers, each would probably be the strength of an agent.

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"What is that?" Someone whispered. "A person?"

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"There's no way. Without a backpack, or any supplies? Out in the cold?"

"Maybe they need help! We should send someone back with-"

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"Don't be retarded! Look at the head!"

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Aisha heard murmuring and gasps.

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"A demon? Out here?"

"They're everywhere. Let's just kill it!"

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"Maybe we should just let it be…" Murmured a small voice, drowned out immediately by cries of agreement and fear.

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Damn, Aisha was hungry. She wanted to eat all of these people - she wanted to let them try to kill her, fail miserably, and have that justify her tearing them apart.

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"I'll give you all an opportunity to leave." She growled.

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Aisha expected at least a few startled gasps, but was surprised when she was met with nothing but the sound of readied weapons. The soldiers were well trained, and disciplined.

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Aisha sighed loudly. Which meant they would be a pain to fight, and would probably not take her offer.

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"Wouldn't you like to talk this through?" Aisha drawled half-heartedly. "I'm an adventurer."

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"Demons can't be adventurers!" Someone hissed.

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"You would be surprised." Aisha mumbled, rising to her feet.

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A foolish soldier took Aisha's tired movement as an opportunity to attack, and soon, the fey girl found herself with the tip of a magisteel spear wedged into her throat, the shaft bending and straining against the force.

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Aisha didn't have to even look to see the horrified expression on the soldier's face, and more than a few uncertain steps backwards were taken at the sight of the interaction.

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"SPELLCASTERS!" The soldier at the front commanded - Aisha assumed he was the commander, at least - and at his order, the soldiers started to shift awkwardly in an attempt to make suitable room for the mages in the back of the formation.

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However, there was simply not enough room on the pass, and as the formation moved around uselessly, Aisha rose to her feet, just a hint of that immense power bubbling up to her fingertips. The mouth in her stomach started to pant, and saliva began to drip down her stomach.

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"KILL HER!" The officer screamed, and motioned towards Aisha, but before the words even left his mouth, he found himself hurtling off the side of the mountain in a wide arc, plummeting down the massive drop.

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There was a heavy crash as he landed at the bottom, but the pained, weak wheeze that left his body told Aisha that he was still alive. A lance of pain shot through her stomach, clearly protesting the discarding of a potential meal.

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"That's one." She muttered to herself.

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A second soldier charged at her, a crazed expression on his face, an expression that quickly dissipated when Aisha snapped the shaft of his fully metal spear like a twig. The metal groaned and creaked as Aisha forced it down, and when the thing finally snapped, the sound that it emit was like an explosion, echoing far into the mountains. Shocked and desperate, the soldier attempted to thrust the broken shaft into her body, but was once more met with an incredibly solid body, the demon woman not even bothering to dodge the weak hit.

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A few spells flew into her body, but Aisha ignored them, even as they lit up her body like small little fireworks. Pushing the poor boy onto his back, Aisha stomped down on his leg, watching uncaringly as he cried out in pain, his bones breaking under the force.

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With another kick, Aisha sent him back to his comrades, who, annoyingly, looked ready to fight.

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"You still have enough men to carry your wounded back." Aisha glared. "If you leave now, you can all still live."

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"And why should we believe you, demon!?"

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Aisha growled, a deep, inhuman growl. "Because if you don't, I'll break all your bones and leave you all here to be eaten by the wyverns."

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Aisha motioned to the crippled soldier, who was still groaning in agony, half clutching, half trying to avoid clutching his shattered leg. The others seemed to avoid looking at him, desperately trying to refrain from seeing the damage.

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With her words, Aisha released a bit of her sinister aura into the air, the mana thick and cloudy. It ate away at the stone like acid, and for a moment, there was fear that the falling stones may cause an avalanche.

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But after a while, it stopped, lasting just long enough for a bit of fear to show on the soldier's faces. Aisha looked into their eyes with malice, ignoring the pain that came from her stomach - dammit, dammit dammit! She needed to eat, but -

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(It's not the right thing to do.) A voice - her own voice, not Aiyu's - whispered. (Kayle entrusted his will to you.)

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A soldier stepped forward.

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"Hey…" She said hesitantly. "W..why don't we just retreat? We barely have enough supplies to get out of here, and now that the captain and Tomas are injured…"

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A few murmurs of agreement were heard from the band of soldiers with a few suspicious, resentful glances. It seemed that, barring the presence of their captain, they were more eager to listen to reason. Aisha breathed out in relief, but there was also a part of her that was disappointed. As helmeted heads began to turn away, Aisha felt the mouth on her stomach lick her stomach.

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"Wait." She interrupted, breaths heavy, desperate. The heat in her stomach was beginning to become unbearable.

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"One of you stays with me." Aisha demanded.

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That got the soldiers to stiffen up.

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"I knew it!" Someone said. "I knew that monster wouldn t-"

"Shut up." Aisha growled, inhumane. She didn't exactly know how, but her voice went deep, into a register that was normally impossible for humans.

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Ah, she could barely call herself a human at this point.

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"We'd rather all die than-"

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Aisha's panting turned into rasping, and suddenly, the earth began to literally shake, cracks beginning to form underneath her feet. A bit of her power - the same power that had slain gods, leaked out, and for a split second, the soldiers could see the frightening visage of something behind her - a vaguely human shape, misty and dark, with bright red eyes.

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Blood ran cold, and suddenly, it was like they could feel the chill of the night again, teeth chattering, and limbs shaking.

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The sound of thousands of tons of stone shifting was heard, and with a deafening grinding, horrified eyes watched as the mountain peak beside them started to crack and split. The well-disciplined soldiers, conditioned for years to steel their minds, could only stare wide eyed as the mountain next to them crashed into the ground, sending tremors through the earth.

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"I- I'll sacrifice myself!" A young man cried. "I"

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"No." Aisha snarled. "A girl!"

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"W…what? I… I… I-mean-"

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The sound of helmets shifting was heard again, and though she could barely see anything but white, Aisha could feel the fear, the betrayal, the anger coming off of the young woman, hands clutching her spear desperately.

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"You can't do this to me!" She shrieked. "If it weren't for me, you would have all charged in and died anyway! No! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I WANT TO LIVE YOU DEMI-SCUM I'LL-"

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But despite how hard she thrashed, the female was unable to prevent her 'comrades' from restraining her arms, pushing her resisting body towards the awaiting Aisha. She turned to the soldiers, hurling insult and threat alike, but they did nothing to stop them, as they forced her onto her ass, with one last push.

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"I-" She screamed, before her blood ran cold, feeling a terrifying, terrifying presence behind her.

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"No." She whimpered, as Aisha hooked her hand beneath her helmet, lifting it off to reveal a head of silky black hair. "No, please. Please. Monster, I…"

.

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"I'm not going to hurt you." Aisha managed to struggle out, after what felt like an eternity of silence, fumbling with the woman's armor.

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"...W-what?"

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The soldier let out a shriek of fear as Aisha growled in impatience, tearing apart her metal armor like paper and discarding it off the side of the mountain. Her body was dirty and sweaty underneath, a white tank top hiding a shapely chest, her muscles well-defined from years of training.

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She gasped when she felt something trailing along her stomach - but when she felt something soft at her back, her fearful expression grew confused.

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Why did the demon have her arms around her chest like that? Why did the demon's soft little chest feel so good against her back? Why was there a soft cheek resting against her shoulder?

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Why did… why did it feel so ridiculously good?

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"U-um…" She stammered. "Miss… demon. What are you… doing?"

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"..."

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Feeling a little brave, and with the impaired judgment that came with the euphoric feeling stemming from her back, the soldier decided to look Aisha in the eyes, staring right into those clear red eyes, glimmering like gemstones.

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"O-oh…" She said softly, unconsciously hugging the little demon closer to her in an attempt to envelop herself in more of that pleasant feeling. "You're… just just a lonely little thing… Oh… mmm…"

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Eyes hazing over in contentment, the soldier scooped Aisha up into her arms, breathing a shuddering breath, full of pleasure. Without thinking, she buried her face into the top of her head, breathing in her scent… like grass candy.

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"What's your name?" The woman asked absentmindedly, rubbing herself up against Aisha's soft little marshmallow plush body. "I'm… I'm Sadine…"

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"It's Aisha."

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Sadine mewled in contentment as she hugged Aisha tighter in her lap. It felt like… it felt like she was home, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, with a hand between her legs lazily pleasing herself. A cloying, numbing kind of pleasure, that came from contentment.

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Distinctly, Sadine recognized that she should not be feeling this good. She should not be nuzzling the demon that crippled two of her squadmates. She should not be unbuckling her trousers, trying to get at her lower lips…

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The flush of embarrassment came with a bit of clarity, and she suddenly looked at Aisha, eyes focusing.

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"Aisha…" Sadine shuddered. "W-why… are you doing this to me? W-what are you doing to me exactly?"

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"Feeding" Aisha mumbled.

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"Hhhhuh?"

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"I just… need to be close to someone." Aisha said quietly. "I'll carry you around… I'll feed you, and once I'm out of the mountains… I'll let you go."

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Sadine blushed slightly. She didn't know if it was the pleasure magic talking or not, but… that sounded really nice. Traveling with such a cute girl… being fed, carried around like a princess… cuddling…

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"Th-that sounds good…" Sadine mumbled sleepily.

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Sadine grinned softly, letting the fatigue leak out of her limbs, letting herself relax. Usually, she would have been marching until a few hours before sunrise… and even then, the rest was restless, and the light quickly rose to wake them.

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Hah. The others would still be - and burdened with two injured as well. Serves them right, for trying to feed her to the demon - now here she was, sleeping happily, cuddled up all warm with this soft girl, and soon able to stroll leisurely out of the mountains at a comfortable pace.

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She would probably be pronounced dead. Which meant her family would be compensated, and she would never have to be a soldier again.

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Ah… What a stroke of luck!

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.

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"S…so, um, what brings you… here? In no man's land… uh, I guess… it's better than the wastes?"

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"I'm not from the wastes." Aisha mumbled. "I'm… I'm not."

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Sadine looked at her traveling companion with a curious expression. Clearly, the girl meant to elaborate on the statement, but stopped for some reason. Rather than press the demon further, though…

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"...Reluctant to answer?"

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"It's just a long story." Aisha said quietly, shaking her head as she kicked a rock off the mountainside. "I'm tired of telling it. Doesn't matter anyways."

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"Doesn't matter?" The ex-soldier parroted.

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"What I was in the past has no importance to what I must do now." Aisha mumbled.

"Surely not." Sadine frowned. "The past shapes the present. Who you are now is a direct consequence of your past actions. Just because the past has already happened, doesn't mean that it's not still important."

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"Oh?" Aisha raised an eyebrow. "A philosopher?"

Sadine frowned. "Us soldiers are many things before we were forced to tread this path."

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"Then what say you?" Aisha asked. "How should we, as humans, treat the past to align with the will of the gods?"

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"It…" Sadine hesitated. "It depends."

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"What a non-answer." Aisha mumbled.

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"The world often doesn't work in black and white." Sadine countered. "To begin with, there is no true or false."

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Aisha clicked her tongue in displeasure. "Such thinking is the mindset of a loser. What does this kind of meaningless exercise accomplish?"

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"That's kind of harsh." Sadine said, frowning.

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"I-... sorry." The short girl mumbled, looking downwards.

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There it was again. That… restraint. It shouldn't have been noteworthy - restraint was a… extremely common trait.

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And yet, it just felt wrong. Someone so strong, so fearsome… Who could level a mountain easily… It just felt wrong, for someone like that to be practicing, of all things, restraint. But she decided to let it go, not wanting to anger the short girl.

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After a long, terse silence, filled with nothing but the sound of crunching rocks and gravel underfoot, Sadine could no longer take the awkward atmosphere.

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"Hey…" She said nervously. "Uh… speaking of philosophy… what do you think separates humans from animals?"

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Aisha visibly stiffened, and when she turned to face her companion, her face was full of shock. It was a strange thing to see - especially because she had seemed so subdued when they had been talking.

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"What?"

"What do you think-"

"Where did that question come from?" Aisha demanded, eyes wide and paranoid. "Who put you up to this?"

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"I… I don't know?" Sadine reeled back, hands up defensively. "I-it's just something I learned from history textbooks!"

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"History textbooks?" Aisha asked, her breaths slowing down.

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"Y-yeah…" Sadine said cautiously. "You know… the question that Alrak posed to the greater gods…"

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Aisha furrowed her brows.

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"A lot of people don't study Alrak, so I'm not surprised that you don't know about it." Sadine sighed. "It's just something that you're supposed to think about, you know?"

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"I'm familiar with the question." Aisha said slowly.

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"..."

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"..."

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"So what's your answer?"

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"I don't know." Aisha mumbled.

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"I think it's okay to not have an answer." Sadine mused. "The thought process is really the part that matters."

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"You know, that in and of itself is an answer." Aisha said. "It's fitting for a philosopher."

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"What do you mean?"

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"It's a non-answer."

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The days passed, and without much difficulty, save for a monster or two, Aisha and Sadine made their way out of the mountain range, into the bordering lands of the Sakura empire. 

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Aisha was instantly struck by the stark difference between the lush landscapes that appeared before her, the trees plentiful and the grass vibrant green, compared to the almost barren, dry plains of the Arcadian empire. The terrain was hilly, which was a little annoying for her, not really being able to see anything in front of her, but everything just seemed so much more alive.

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Sadine seemed to feel the same way, the way she openly gaped at every little land formation, every boulder, every little stream that they passed through.

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"Whoa!" She shouted excitedly, holding her hands up to her chest. "Look! Look! That rock is so big!"

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(Ah… she's kind of cute.)

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"It's not even that big." Aisha rolled her eyes, a slight smile touching on the corner of her lips.

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It quickly faded, though.

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Returning to her thoughts, the scenery quickly blended back into that muddled gray and green splotch around her. Everything seemed to blend together at this point - even her thoughts, usually so sharp and distinct, seemed to disappear into an ocean of memories, of experiences and emotions.

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(Mihhhhhhhbbllllluuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

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(I don't even…)

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Aisha just sighed, shaking her head softly as she looked downwards. The only thing keeping her together at this point was her memories of mistress. That feeling… of adoration, of pure love…

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Purpose…

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Was she really that kind of woman? That had to be loved and pampered all the time?

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Ugh, who was she kidding.

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For a second, Aisha looked softly at Sadine. She felt… bad, at the very least. Using her like this, as a battery to power herself. Perhaps at some point, she would have felt a desire to pursue this woman… a nice body, cute personality, nice to hug…

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But Sadine was scared of her. And Aisha was just so… tired.

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She wanted a woman who would pamper her. Who would pick her up and pet and kiss her and-

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(I get the point.) Aiyu sighed, exasperated.

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"Mmmmm…" Aisha mumbled, feeling her heartbeat through her shirt.

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Where once, there was an intense pounding, there was now just a slight flush.

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Where once, she would have panicked at the thought… the thought of losing her love for mistress… there was now just sadness. The memories were starting to grow weaker - and while they were still vivid and clear, Aisha no longer felt the rush of emotions that she once did.

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Blinking slightly, Aisha felt a hand on her back, and as if seeing for the first time, she recognized that the sight in front of her wasn't the same blend of green/brown scenery that they had been walking through for days. The small, vertical splotches in the distance were most definitely not animals or rocks.

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"I suppose this means we part ways." Aisha said softly, her expression completely unreadable. Whereas the mosaic of emotions of Sadine's face was completely visible, the girl clearly hesitant to just leave the girl she had been traveling with for… days? Weeks?

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Ugh…

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"I guess it is." Sadine said sadly. "Um…"

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Aisha knew that if she insisted, that this woman would stay with her. After all, she didn't really have anything else. They were in the same boat - in a new land, with nothing to their names.

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And yet…

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"Yeah." Aisha mumbled.

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"Then… see you." Sadine waved.

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"Mh."

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And just like that, she was gone.

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It was kind of freeing, really… feeling an attraction to someone, and just letting go. No more… clingy girlfriend.

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No chance of being hurt…

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For a while, she just sat there. Prolonging her next journey, into a new land… closer to reuniting with her mistress, and yet literally further than ever.

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She wouldn't have been terribly unhappy if she could just sit here fore-

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"KITTY CAT! HAHAHAHA! NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYA NYA NYA!"

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"What the fuck!?"