Gerard looked at Jerlina ordering another drink. She had no change in her emotions if not she seemed a little disgusted.
But he is the one to blame for not explaining everything differently. Had he not let his emotions control him, she'd have believed whatever he tells her like in the past.
Why Emma left his school is directly connected to him and Emma is blackmailing him with that truth. And so he didn't want to answer Jerlina's question.
He decided to tell his story in a way to invoke her sympathy. Till now he didn't speak to her about it because he didn't want her to pity him but now he needed his pity. He didn't want to lose her. He knew how kind-hearted she is and wanted to distract her and turn her disbelief into pity.
