More silence, more steps, more vastness I couldn't explore, more unknown space which set me on edge. After a bit too long, I heard him open a door.
"This will be your room here at the Warren Estate my lady, it is located on the far south end of the estate for your privacy." Turning my direction inside, two more people stood in front of me; their presence blurred together in a blob of faint light.
"And these will be your maids- Cacy and Robin. They'll be here to help you."
Where my skin crawled, now my teeth threatened to shatter own another. Somehow, I couldn't tell which I preferred more- the 'help' that Klinden offered, or the excessive aide of these people. I've worked hard to carry myself on my own. I don't expect or want to be coddled. Unable to hold back, my hand tenderly pressed into my forehead, the stinging and burning in my limbs taking their toll.
"I'll excuse myself my lady, I trust you to our skilled maids."
I know I am supposed to be grateful, and I was, but each word and action felt grating. With a hard thud of my cane, I could roughly tell where I thought the bed was and guided myself forward, my palm finding the soft comforter of a large bed. Something else-
Some other dim being flickered against my eyes. Scanning the room, the flicker was smaller and much fainter than the two people silently watching me on the other side of the room, but perhaps I only noticed it because it was right in front of me. Ever so cautious, my hand slowly edged towards the specks in the dark before a smooth, soft, paper-like leaf brushed against my hand. A vase of flowers.
"Do you like them my lady?" I startled slightly as I turned around, half forgetting and wholly wishing they were not there. A sheepish nod was my answer as I returned to the bed and waited, wanting to explore in privacy.
"Would you like us to run a bath after your long journey? I heard the carriage ride was five hours."
Five hours. Not surprised. Still harboring the aching in my legs, I gave a firm nod.
"Then we'll run a bath and prepare you your dinner, we hope you enjoy your stay at Warren Estate."
Please get out, I wanted to say, but since it was all trapped in my mind, there was no point focusing on it. Perhaps because I was forced to live with my thoughts and emotions on the forefront rather than the back of my consciousness, it clicked that my irritation wasn't because of the help I was getting, but because of the help I hadn't received even once as a Count's daughter. No- more than that- it was because, while 'Eleanor Estette' had been able to see and walk on her own, she was still somehow ten times more pathetic than 'Lily Warren' was.
As one of the maids exited to a small adjoined room, the other left for the kitchen- the sound of water being drawn chanting from behind the door. A private bath and a private room- another perfect, though unfamiliar, luxury. Tapping into the bathroom and avoiding the maid, though I hadn't pinned down names yet, I took note of the slight difference of the air here and the calming smell of scented shampoos. After a few minutes, the sounds quieted as she stepped aside.
"You're bath is ready miss, will you need help b-" I firmly shook my head 'no' and made a cross with my arms.
"Alright." The soft and polite nature of her voice calmed me as she politely showed me where a small table was next to the tub with a towel, the shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and some scented oils. She also led me to a small vanity on the opposite wall, where fresh clothes and bandages were, noting that the staff of the estate were optimistic that I would quickly recover.
'Recover'- I had almost forgotten that that was the ultimate goal since 'changing'. Did Lord Fomlé tell them I was sick? But what... If I stayed like this?
Somehow, knowing there was a mirror right in front of me at this moment, and still being unable to see myself only spiked my fear, but I pushed the thorned feeling far away from my mind.
It's better to be content with how I am now than wish for more than I deserve, right?
Completed with acquainting me with the room, she retreated back towards the door as a thin sliding sounded.
"This is a screen divider which blocks anyone from seeing you should they open the door. Though that wouldn't happen, we know you value your privacy. Dinner will be set on your table in the same arrangement noted by Lord Fomlé, and your belongings have been organized in the large nightstand on the left side of your bed. Your laundry can go in the basket on the right side of your bed. Do you have any questions?"
Another tired shake of my head, but she was more gentle than everyone else in the house, and to the point. I appreciated that. At the sound of her footsteps retreating, I peeled away my clothes and set to undoing my bandages, hissing at the new wounds which cracked down my arms in legs in thin and deep vertical lines. I'm as delicate as a glass doll...
Though I probably shouldn't be bathing with fresh wounds, I avoided the soaps and decided to soak in the warm water, the tense wring of my body slightly baying. This first token of rest was anxious, but it was a welcome moment of solitude against all the changes of today. New people, new place- even if I wasn't in this state I would be overwhelmed; I had never been acquainted with many people before. Still, after living sheltered with only Lord Fomlé for so long, it was a bit of a shock to process so many sudden differences. It hasn't even been a full day yet and there's that small feeling on the base of my neck that makes me miss the place I had come to treat like home: the room, the alpine smell- a weak taste left in my mouth. I'm a grown woman- I shouldn't already be missing that place like a clingy child... but I do miss it. And I miss Lord Fomlé too.
While the bath was mildly relaxing, I stepped out and set to rewrapping my body, trying to get a grip on myself. This is my new life. This is my second chance. After putting myself together with fresh ointment and bandages, I dressed and grabbed my cane before weakly pulling back the screen divider and returning to my room. On the table with the flower vase I could smell a vegetable soup and fresh bread, my stomach grumbling as I sat down and easily finished it. Sensing one of the maids outside of the door, I gave a timid knock before she welcomed herself inside.
"Did you enjoy dinner?" It was the same one from before, to whom I nodded gratefully, and even offered a slight bow as thanks. I had already gathered a respect for her.
"I'm glad. To wake you up, I will knock on your door twice. If you would like me to enter feel free to knock twice back. I'll bring your breakfast to you when you are ready and knock three times, and when you are ready for me to set it down on your table, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock back three times."
My ego once again reared its head, but for a simple system, it provided the first structure to my new life here, and for that I was more than ready to achieve. With another nod, she cleared my plates and excused herself, finally leaving me to my own room.
A deep breath flew from my mouth as I set aside my cloak on the nightstand, my cane set against my bed. The bedding was silky, the pillows as soft as clouds. With my head upon the pillow, I drew my hand to the small strands of hair which poked out from my bandages. Feeling the rough follicles, I knew there was even more truth to Lord Fomlé's words. Where my hair was once wavy, it was more slowly morphing into something else. I held the hope that I wouldn't go bald, and I didn't think I would, but even that possibility shirked me slightly.
Was it that I cared more about my looks now that I couldn't see them for myself? Pulling the blankets further up like it were a shield, I tried to shake my negative thoughts away.
I always assume the worst- it's the way of the human mind.
Human mind...
Would I even keep that after awhile?