"James Acorn, I am going to kill you!"
You can call it empty threats, but the boy called James Acorn knew for certain it wasn't. That's the least he expected after willingly looking for the trouble of the biggest baddest and meanest bully in School.
And as he dashed off for dear life he could only hope his plans will work accordingly. He won't be so sure though, despite the fact that he tested them for the gazillionth time yesterday. The Universe always had a way of screwing him up time unending. All he wished for today is just a little cooperation.
He could hear Collins Andrew's minions pounding after him, they may be big alright but they were not smart. Shouldn't they be suspicious about his manoeuvre? Shouldn't they wonder why he acted so rash? What gave a little boy like him the guts to come challenge them, why did he become so brave?
Instead the bird brain, bigger-than-their-age nincompoops were coming thick after him. Like a daft mouse they are going to be caught in his trap. That thought brought smiles to James' face.
Apologies to the mouse too. Comparing Collins and his minions to those wonderful rodents was an insult to the mouse family. Mice were way smarter than them, ask Benny. And to give Collins a cheap shot between the legs, that felt awesome. He enjoyed the way his face distorted in pain, the way his breath ceased and he collapsed under his own weight. It felt like Christmas.
Who could think the great and mighty Collins will cry like that or call for his mommy. Who would think he would roll on the floor like a pig! And he caught everything on video. Oh, today is the happiest day of his life!
He just needed to lure the rest of the band into his trap and then mission accomplished. Best term ever. More like best year ever!
James came up the stairs going for to the laboratories. Just a few more blocks and they will be exactly where he wants then to be.
"Don't ever think we are letting you go, James Acorn, you are as good as dead!"
Essh, talk of repetition, he heard the first time. Yes sure they would do everything bad thing in the world to him when they catch him. Let them catch him first, all these threats is taking away all the fun. They can talk to his rough ugly spotty arse....
Eshh.
Bad word. Mrs Holloway won't like that. She's warned him many times, he should stay away from the the a-word, the f-word, the s-word and the p-word.
All of the other words he knew, but what is the p-word? He had always wondered.
Pancakes?
No! Certainly not! No time to think of that now. It was the end of session and he had a date with destiny!
Like a gazelle he sprang into the lab and disappeared in the company of test tubes, flasks and other lab equipments.
Now camera in place, he waited for the game. In a minute they rushed in, breathing hard. Just a few sprints in the London summer sun and look how tired they were. All muscles, no brains no frigging stamina too, exactly what he wanted.
"Where are you James? Come out you piece of thrash!" someone said, James knew it was Babe, Collins right hand. Perhaps their leader was still clutching his genitals in pain. Sweet!
You will see, oh you will see. Just a moment now and we will know who is thrash and who is not.
"You had better come out now! If you come now we promise we won't kill you totally!"
"We will only break your your fingers and your nose. Not much harm done" That must be potato head Otis.
The band laughed. James shook his head, this will be so interesting, he will laugh his head off when they pee their pants in the next few minutes.
"Or we will just remove your oso..osho..oshopha..errr...osophagum!"
What?
"Osophagum?"
"You know, that tube in your throat that you swallow with" Babe said
"Is it osophagum? Is that what it's called?"
"I pretty much think that is it, or do you know it?"
"I think it's Osophagon"
Oh brother.
"Rarely so, I think it is..."
"It is oesophagus, you bloody nit wit!" suddenly roared James.
Eshh.
Not a err...totally bad word so he doesn't have a problem with his favourite teacher. The only problem is he has given away his position by not being able to stand his pursuer's stupidity. And bullocks, his plan was about two minutes from operation. Oh the Universe, why!
"There you are, we were starting to get worried you won't take our proposal and we will have to kill you totally"
They laughed, James can't see the joke. (Even I can't get the joke. If you can send me an email).
"So should we punch you silly now or wait for Collins to do the honors"
"Anythi..."
"On second thoughts, I think we should pound you silly. You made us run too hard and called me nit wit"
"Yeah"
As they charged after him, little James called "Wait!"
Like magic, they stopped. They shouldn't have.
"Shouldn't you be a little curious about who put me up to this. Clearly I am not courageous to go against you fine strong gentlemen on my own"
Babe looked at him like he was crazy. He seem to be thinking. James finally understood why he doesn't do that often. He looked ugly when he thinks. More like Shrek.
"Who?"
It's working! Only a few seconds more.
"I wish I can tell you, but I can't"
Babe grabbed James by the collar, terror in his eyes.
"Who, tell me this instant!"
"It's...."
Babe and the band shifted impatiently, their eyes twitching in the punishing wait. Speak boy, speak!
"Jesse Lingard"
What!
Babe chuckled "Very funny, James" His amusement turns at once to a frown "Wait, Who is Jesse Lingard?"
"You are a Manchester fan and you don't know Jesse Lingard!" James wanted to scream but Babes stupidity was more shocking than he had imagined. His perfect o shaped mouth curved out into an evil smile.
"The tooth ferry's cousin"
"Really, I didn't know the tooth ferry had a cousin? Does the tooth ferry have a cousin Otis?
"Oh yeah, he is really...oh wait, are you sure the tooth ferry has a cousin?"
Stupid idiots!
"Have you caught the fool?" suddenly called Collins from the laboratory doorway. His face was red with rage and nothing can give him solace than tearing James Acorn apart. Oh dear.
Something beeped and James knew he was saved. That's the signal to put the hydraulics to play. Let the games begin! He wriggled himself free off Babes grip just in time as a slimy fluid poured from the ceilings on their heads.
"What is this, you piece of thrash!" Collins said
"One second to find out!...Ladies!"
As if on cue a cabinet opened and a sea of mice broke out. With fire in their eyes they swoop on the band feeding on the jelly on they bodies. The bullies scattered and tried to wrestle the rodents off. The slime on the ground didn't help, they slipped and tripped over one another, sliding yards across the laboratory floor.
James burst into laughter when a rodent entered into Collins trousers. The big bad boy pulled off his cloth and exposed his SpongeBob boxers. He lost his balance again, collapsing over a number of innocent mice.
"And now face two!"
James pushed a button on a remote and the upper cabinets that used to hold some chemicals snapped open. Only it wasn't chemicals that were in it, it was an intrusion of cockroaches.
Knowing how terrified of roaches Collins Andrew was, this will make him surely pee his pants.
"Say hello to my brown friends"
"No, no, not the damn cockroaches, please not the bloody cockroaches!" Collins said
"Bloody hell, James you are a monster!" Babe added
James busted into the scariest evil laughter he could muster "Calling a monster makes me happy!"
"No, stop, not the cockroaches. I will do anything you want. Please don't set the cockroaches on me...I am begging you!"
James laughed again "Anything I want?"
"Anything, just say it and it's yours!"
The cockroaches were getting very closer, any moment now they will over run the terrified boys.
"So what do I want?" James was mulling over it
"Hurry James"
"You will leave I and all my friends all alone. No more picking on us or bullying us, it's over Collins. Can you do that?"
"Yes, yes, yes!"
"Okay. We have got a deal"
With a push of a button, the advancing mob of roaches stopped. They make a three hundred and sixty degree turn and retraced their cabinet.
Collins and his mob were too stupid or frightened to suspect that there must be something not right about the cockroaches. No time in human history has a boy known to control roaches. There is something up with them arthropods.
"Thank you, thank you"
Collins Andrews isn't all that tough eh. He will be a good boy, won't he?
"Thank you, Tha..."
As the boys were standing up, Otis slipped hard, held on to Collins and the other one whom James doesn't know his name. But the other boys were also standing in the slime. They couldn't hold their grip. They were falling again. Collins trying to prevent the fall reached out for the cabinet's door. It couldn't hold their weight. It broke taking all the cabinets with it.
The crash was catastrophic. The noise was so great it could be heard all across the school.
Laboratory equipment stored away crashed across the room. Tripod stands and glassware scattering everywhere. Even the stool on which James stood gave way and he fell into the mixture of slime, glass, dead mice and strange cockroaches.
When everything settled he looked at the extent of the damage. Although he wasn't injured, two thirds of the laboratory was destroyed. The whole cabinet had fallen over Collins and his gang and they had collapsed under its impact. He only hoped they were not seriously injured.
Raising himself up from the glass littered floor, the lab door opened again. In his eyes was surprise as he dart them from place to place. He was Mr D. Linus, the Science teacher. Holy Mother Of ice creams.
The one thing you need to know about this man is that he despises James Acorn. The feeling is however mutual, even greater from the perspective of the teenage boy. He doesn't know what the "D" in his name stands for but he tells everyone it's Devil.
Think of the Devil and he will appear
He had finally done something for Mr Linus to nail him. He had finally fallen pawn in his chess game. The Science teachers amazement soften into a gentle smile. James wasn't fooled by his calmness, he knew for certain he was in big trouble. Only God can save him now.
"Mr James Acorn, we need to take a stroll to the Quarters"
~~~~~<>~~~~~
It took an hour for Captain Alfred to arrive. In that hour they made him wait in the Principal's office. Dr. Ann Higginbotham was a nice little woman, a little petite for her age. She has bright auburn hair which was grizzling out on the fringes. Although she was usually all cute and smile, today her face was blazing and fiery, like a mother bear robbed of her honey.
She was starring hawkishly down on James through her gold rimmed double lens spectacles, a fusion of anger and disappointment in her eyes. Of course Mr Linus had related to her an exaggerated story, watching James video didn't justify any of his actions. She had described them using two words.
Cruel and despicable
Ouch
"Before I take any decision, I am going to see your parents" The principal has said.
James had known, Mom won't come, she is going to send Alfred. Although the principal specified she wanted a parent, she got to make do with the old Soldier turned housekeeper.
Alfred walked into the room. He was a tall man in his typical attire; black suit, shining shoes and a top hat. Always the elaborate one with his looks, the old chap won't leave a stone unturned for a chance to impress the ladies.
Alfred served as a pilot in the Royal Navy in the 70s but when he got seriously injured when a fighter plane crashed few meters he was sitting, he quit. Tried his luck as a singer but failed, did some stuff for t.v too. He was going to make his big break with a major role in the 1985 block buster movie All about Ginny when he was sued by his ex wife.
The suit ruined him and rendered him penniless. And that was his financial state until he met the Acorns. He has never left since.
"Good Afternoon, Dr. Higginbotham"
"Good Afternoon, Captain Alfred"
"Permit me to say, you are looking rather extraordinary in that clothing today"
The Principal smiled broadly "Thank you very much"
"Is it the....
"Wow it is, you know your designs, Captain"
"Could I have the pleasure of sitting down?"
"Oh yes, please take your seat"
The chair was a bit small for him but he managed to squeeze his legs under the Principal's table.
"So what is this about, I came as soon as I could"
"Yes, this is about James. As I told you on the phone, the boy has caused some serious trouble"
Alfred looked at the boy for the first time since he arrived.
"James single handy destroyed the school's chemistry laboratory"
"What?"
"If that's the only thing I won't be this angry. He bullied four boys and left them seriously injured in the rubble. These boys sustained grave injuries they had to be hospitalized"
"I really don't believe this"
"It's true, he's got everything on video. Ask him to show you on his phone"
James reluctantly played the video. Alfred was shocked.
"I am sure there must be a good reason for dear James to do such a devilish thing. James is such a sweet boy, he can't possible do this out of malice"
"Are you saying there must be a reason for violence? What do I tell the parents of those kids he injured, that they deserved it?"
"I am not saying that, I just think we need to hear from James. I know him too well, he is nothing like this"
"Well people change. His sister is the gentlest student I know wouldn't hurt a butterfly the lovely girl. And James wasn't like this before. At least not before....
James eyes shot up and met the Principal's. The second he waited was like a million years, venom rising in his belly. Don't say it Dr. H. Don't say it.
"...his father died!"
Without thinking, James Acorn, the little boy with the freaked face picked up his bag and stormed out of the office. He couldn't care less what his punishment will be.