"I've killed people before."
Those words chilled Kitty to the core. His brain didn't register what he'd heard at first.
"You-" Kitty began. The words stopped in his throat. "What did you say?"
Damien's head was down. "Please don't make me repeat it." He whispered in a pained voice.
That response proved he'd heard him right. He'd killed someone. Not even someone – he'd said "people". Who the hell were these people? Why did he kill them?
Green eyes checked his pale face, assessing it with concerned curiosity. Damien didn't look like a killer, especially not right now. He refused to look at Kitty. He appeared scared and ashamed, eyes filled with remorse. Kitty didn't know whether to trust him.
"Who did you kill?" Kitty asked, still studying Damien's face with a frown.
Damien opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again. After a few seconds, he finally answered. "A few people. Too many to count, but two in particular." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Actually, two along with some others, at the same time. I don't know how many exactly."
How could he not know how many he'd murdered? Kitty didn't respond. His heart was racing, but not from excitement this time. He felt sick.
"I know you must think I'm evil. In a way, I guess I am." Damien said. "But the ones I killed, they weren't good people. Especially the first two." He grimaced, like he was thinking of something horrible. "The others I killed with them were accidental. It wasn't my fault. I-" He stopped, biting his lip. "I've killed more since then, a lot more, and I continue to do so even now. But I wish I hadn't. I wish I didn't have to."
The face he made hurt Kitty. He could tell there was something more to this. He could tell he regretted it. But then again, that could have been an act to draw him in. He could even kill him next. The thought made his stomach twist. He wanted to know who Damien killed and why. Could it have been his family? He was only young, but he didn't live with his parents or any other relative. Did he kill them?
He was jolted out of his panicked musings once he realised Damien had finally raised his head. He looked him in the eye with a sorrowful face. It made Kitty want to cry. "Are you afraid of me?" He asked.
Kitty stared at him for a moment, then averted his eyes. "No. No, I'm not."
But he was lying. He was afraid. He'd never been more afraid of anyone. He wanted to trust him more than anything. But how could you trust someone with blood on his hands?
They walked in silence from then on. He knew Damien could see through his lie, and he could see how much it crushed him inside. It was Kitty's turn to lower his head. He didn't want to fear him, but he couldn't help it. These past few days had been lovely, but the boy he had come to care for might not have even existed. He barely knew anything about Damien.
As they reached the street of their house, a soft male voice shouted Damien's name. His and Kitty's heads whipped around to see a pretty boy coming their way. A black headband held back his short wavy red hair. He had a black tattoo that covered the entire top half of his torso, visible since all he wore was an open leather jacket and black shorts. As soon as Damien spotted him, his face lit up.
"Ken'ichi!"
Ken'ichi grinned and waved, and greeted Damien back.
This boy was the coolest person Kitty had ever met. He oozed charisma and grace. He was gorgeous. But Kitty never felt the twinge in his chest and the flutter in his stomach that occurred when he met Damien.
As Damien and Ken'ichi conversed in Japanese, Kitty stood there, feeling awkward. He had no idea what they were saying, but it seemed they were flirting, albeit jokingly. Kitty gave the ground a weak glare. A feeling of irritation rose up in his stomach. Damien was flirting with him before. He thought it was because he liked him, but here he was, hitting on another guy right in front of him. Kitty realised he was jealous of Ken'ichi. He felt stupid.
Black eyes glanced over at him, finally acknowledging his presence. Ken'ichi smiled. "Who's this cute boy?" He asked Damien in English. "Is he your boyfriend?"
Damien's eyes widened and he giggled, face bright red. "N-No no, he's, um, he's just a friend. Yeah, just a friend."
Damien frowned when Ken'ichi gave him a knowing grin. He protested that nothing was going on between them. Kitty's heart fluttered when he saw Damien becoming flustered over him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and huffed. How pathetic he was, having a crush on a murderer.
Swerving past the now annoyed and red-faced Damien, Ken'ichi held his hand out for Kitty to shake. His perfectly manicured black nails impressed him. "Ken'ichi Maruyama. What's your name?" Kitty shook his hand and told him his own name. Ken'ichi grinned.
"Nice to meet you." He said. "I've never seen you around here before. Did Damien buy you recently?"
With a weak frown, Kitty shook his head.
Ken'ichi laughed. "I'm kidding! I don't agree with slavery or anything. It's all a bit sick to me, owning another person, and I know Damien wouldn't contribute to it."
"You're damn right I wouldn't." Damien murmured with a look of disgust.
"You see, that's why I thought you had a thing with him." Ken'ichi turned his eyes back to Damien. "I'm surprised. With the track record you've got, I thought you'd have gotten into his pants already."
The glare Damien gave Ken'ichi was more embarrassed and shocked than rageful. It was obvious he'd hit a major nerve. Ken'ichi must have noticed, because his eyes widened with worry. Instead of waiting around for an apology, Damien gently took Kitty's hand and lead him away, telling him they were going home. Kitty didn't understand what was wrong, but he went with him anyway.
"Hey, I'm sorry, man!" Ken'ichi called to them. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Despite still being angry, Damien raised his hand and said, "It's fine. Don't worry about it."
Is this what all friends were like? Kitty shrugged to himself. It's not like he would know.
☽☾
As soon as they got back to the house, Kitty flopped onto his and Damien's bed. Damien had made a beeline to the bathroom, intending to take a shower. Kitty blushed, imagining him naked, then slapped himself for thinking such impure thoughts. He shut his eyes tight, trying to ignore the feeling of excitement in the pit of his stomach at the mental picture. You can't be attracted to a murderer, you dolt.
Kitty was glad to be home. When did he start considering this place home? He hadn't been here for very long, but he was starting to get used to it. It was much nicer than his old home, he had to admit. No more goddamn sand in his toes.
But he couldn't convince himself that he didn't miss it. The children his age and a few years older terrorised him, it was true, but there were good people in the camp. He missed them. He missed his family. It tore him up inside, not knowing if they were dead or alive. He pictured them in his head; his kind father, his brave dad, his amazing brother. He missed Jack most of all. They were inseparable. He was his only friend, his protector. He even gave him his nickname.
When Kitty was a baby, his cry was high-pitched and squeaky, like a kitten mewling, as Jack used to say. He started calling him Kitty. Their fathers started calling him it, and then others in the camp did. Soon enough, everyone knew him as Kitty. He even introduced himself with it, almost forgetting his real name. Kitty chuckled to himself at the memory. They may not have had expensive possessions or tons of money, but they had each other. That was more than enough.
Now, without them, Kitty was heartbroken. He wanted to believe they were still alive. He tried to give himself hope, convince himself it was true. But he had to face reality. It was wishful thinking. There was no way they could have survived the attack. Kitty himself wouldn't have if he wasn't hidden in a tent. When he came out, everyone around him was dead. Any survivors would have been captured and sold as slaves. They may have taken Jack since he was young, but there was no guarantee. And even if they were still alive, how would they find each other? The humans took Kitty to a country that was impossible to get to without some kind of mode of transport. They wouldn't be able to get hold of anything like that. There was no way they could get to him. He could travel to find them, but they were probably long gone by now, if they were even still in this world.
Tears filled Kitty's eyes for the thousandth time. He didn't even try to stop them. He rolled over and buried his face into the pillow, and cried until he fell asleep.