As the sun shines through my window blinding me as I woke up, the first thought that popped in my head was "Where are my blinds, why is it so bright?" Then I realized as I opened my eyes and looked around my room. Instead of my usual grey Sienna dressing table, I was now greeted with the lovely view of unpacked boxes. The usual sight of seeing my makeup kit all packed together nicely and photos of my friends sticking up in the corners of the side mirrors is now a pile of cardboard in my "new" room. Seeing all that makes me sick and just proves the events of last week was not some horrible dream. Ugh just remembering it makes me so mad...

"Wait you got to be kidding me mom, why are we moving to Tennessee? What about my life here? What about all my friends?" my mom must be losing her mind to think we can just up and leave our home. Only to move to some rural town in the South of all places. Maybe I can try to talk her and Dad out of– before I could even finish my thought my mother stopped packing, and looked my direction to say, "Jade - honey, sorry to tell you but we are moving and no matter what you try to think of or say will change our minds. Your father has lost his job and we were already struggling to make ends meet already with the both of us working full-time. We were finally able to find a place that'll hire your father and won't go into too much debt in the process." After she said all that I was stunned. That was the first time she didn't weigh in my opinion. Though what stunned me the most after hearing her speech was that not even once did they share that we were struggling. Especially the fact my dad didn't tell me he lost his job.

I tried to come up with a counter argument – anything to stop us from moving to Tennessee. I walked back to my room and to pace around. All while thinking of how I can turn this situation around. I dont want to leave the home I've lived in for 15 years, that's just cruel. Like isn't New York a place that is filled to the brim with was job opportunities for everyone right? How come my Dad couldn't find another job in the "city of dreams"? Pretty sure he can work at some fast food place or work 3 jobs or something. Why must we leave? I stopped pacing only to shout, "Ugh this is so aggravating!!" then plopped on my bed just has I had my 'bRiGhT iDeA' which consistsed of "Maybe I can convince my Dad to change his mind. Ask him to find and work as many jobs as he can and like I can get a job at Starbucks or McDonald's to help out so we dont need to leave". Then he'll surely agree and it'll be two against one in favor of not leaving! That way mom will definitely have to give in! After that thought I stood up to find where my dad is to convince him of my 'bRiGhT iDeA'.

Little did I know at that time my dad was taking this news the hardest. He tried everything he could to find a new job. He went job hunting for weeks on end with multiple interviews only for a "young and hip" person to steal the job out from under him. After being told so many times that wants "young enough" or "sorry you're not the kind of person they were looking for" the stress piled up. So much so that he picked up the bottle again. After 13 years of being sober - after vowing to stay clean for his kid and provide for his family like a "real husband and father" should. It all came crashing down when all the past due payments came in along with the multitude of rejections. Throw in the moral struggle that he must provide for his family and you got the case of "I am a failure of a parent" attitude.

At the time though when I first found him in the bathroom drinking until he felt numb. It really scared me. I never seen my father like that nor will the memory of that day go away. Seeing him like that my huge idea of convincing him to stay was erased from my mind. He looked at me with his usual slick black hair in disarray and his hazel eyes having deep shadows under them. His eyes were deep red with tears staining his eyelashes and his cheek. But what was really shocking at the time was the mass amount of beer cans surrounding him in and out of the tub. I tried to hold back a gasp when I saw this but my hands could barely mask the sound. After that he notice me standing there, he tried to wipe the tears away and gave me a tired smile. Then he said "I'm sorry honey, but daddy's busy now. Please close the door and tell your mother I broke our promise." Even as shocked as I was seeing him in the tub with beer cans surrounding him, I did as he said.

I closed the door and immediately went to my parents room where I knew my mom was packing up their clothes. I rushed in their room to see my moms back as she was trying to busy herself with packing. I walked over to here and said, "Mom, um dad told me to tell you he broke his promise. I dont know what that means but he is in the tub with beer cans surrounding him and like he was crying." After I told my mom what was going on, she stopped picking up a her t-shirts mid-way through, only to look at me with wide green eyes. She tried to cover her mouth to hide her shock but it was so pronounced on her face you couldn't miss it. As the shock of what I said was sinking in she slowly let herself sit down on the bed then she grabbed my hand.

After a few seconds of silence she looks at me with her green eyes welling up with tears and her messy brown hair falling down on her face. She opened her mouth a few times but nothing came out until she said "Thanks for letting me know honey. You should go pack up your things. We are leaving within the week..." When she let go of my hand, I knew I should leave but before I could my mouth moved faster than my brain. I told her "Well okay, within in the week is good. Gives me time to say goodbye to everything before we leave. Everything going to be fine right?" As I said that I wanted to crawl under a rock. I sounded so selfish. Before she could answer I just turned around and walked into my room.

After that moment I stopped complaining about the move and made sure help put as much as I can. So that night I started packing all my stuff up because I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to see my dad look like that again. It felt so strange seeing him break down like that.