As Adelia made her way back to her palace, she suddenly changed her mind. The weather was beautiful and she was in a great mood.
She took the long way back, through the Rose Garden.
As it was after the blooming season, the roses had begun to lose petals, and the heavy scent coming from them was intoxicatingly strong.
She sat down on a bench and looked around thoughtfully. Since waking up last night, she felt her mind and her heart had been going full tilt.
All in all, she didn't think she'd done so badly.. It was only a day into this second chance, but she felt the changes were positive.
She was quite proud of how quick she was to adjust to her new situation, and she felt she had been calm and rational in her approach.
But there was a knawing feeling in the back of her mind she needed to address.
In a way, she knew that eventually she would know whether the events in this life were going to reflect her last life. She had even chosen certain events as tests. But it didn't answer other questions.
How should she treat people around her? Should she, or could she punish people in this life for things they had yet to commit. She didn't think so.
But if the kingdom was at stake, would she be forced to regardless?
It was tough. She didn't have anyone to lean on this aspect. She couldn't think of anyone she could repeat her story to without sounding totally crazy.
The last thing she needed was to be labelled as insane. Then no matter how much she tried to warn people, or push things in the right direction, her words would be discounted as the words of a crazy person.
She sighed.
It was unfair in a sense. If she was going to carry this for the rest of her life, she would always feel a disconnect between herself and the people around her who were unaware.
Something like a rebirth, or going back in time, or a prophetic dream. Whatever it was, it changes everything.
She scanned one of the knights escorting her. Was he one of the Royal Guard that had been present at her execution? Were all of her current escorts with her today there that day as well?
She knew even if they were, it probably wasn't their fault. Her name had been poisoned so thoroughly in her last life, even she would have hated herself had she been anyone else.
And because Genevieve was her only escort all that time, the Royal Guard were no different from any other citizens. There was no way they could have known unless they'd really looked for it. And even then, if they did, they would probably have been disposed of.
Her heart hurt.
She had already made the decision to keep Genevieve out of it, but right now, with all the uncertainty around her, she remembered the picture of his back as he stood in front of her in the throne room.
Back then it had calmed her and she was sure it would calm her now. She knew it was wrong, she knew it was unfair, but she really wanted to see him.
One constant between then and now.
Her throat felt tight but she forced a smile. Not seeing him again wasn't the worst thing that could happen.
In this life, he hasn't even met her. Even if it was constant for her, it wouldn't be for him.
That realization hurt too, but Adelia knew she couldn't continue down this path of regret and longing. His death had hurt her deeply, and she knew it was something she could never allow a second time.
She turned her thoughts back to the positives. Her rebirth was a stroke of luck - a second chance, for her and her people. Today had been a happy occasion, with many smiles and faces she would have given anything a thousand times over to see in her past life.
She stood up and went straight to her palace. She had rested long enough, it was time to get to work again.
****
"Would you like some tea, Princess?" Mary asked, her eyes filled with concern.
Adelia forced a smile.
"Actually, it's so hot today. Could you have the maids prepare Elderflower water instead?"
"With some ice.." she added.
Mary left Adelia's drawing room to follow her commands.
Adelia was looking down at the guest list the King had asked her to confirm.
She couldn't believe she'd forgotten. On the list was both Nathaniel and Genevieve.
At this point in time, Genevieve was still the Duke of Mercia. Because he was underage, the Duchy was being run by his steward, she assumed. Or however they handled it in Mercia.
Mercia was different to the other duchies - the Ducal family had extremely close ties to the Royal Family, and were permitted vast control over their own territory. In fact, as far as she knew, the only thing the King could demand from them, was the use of their soldiers for the kingdom's defense.
Despite all this, or perhaps because of, Adelia knew already that Genevieve wouldn't be in attendance. Due to internal reasons the royal family were not privy to, he had never attended her birthdays before, and due to the Call, Genevieve would be marching to Gelly's wall with his troops this time anyway.
But Nathaniel most certainly would be.
The realisation had come at the worst possible time. She had just calmed her heart, and now it had been set off again. At this rate, she'd die from the stress in this life long before anything else could kill her.
---
Mary knocked at the door politely before pushing the door open.
"Your Elderflower water, Princess."
She set the water on the edge of the desk and stood to the side, wringing her hands with worry.
Adelia leaned back in her chair and smiled at Mary reassuringly.
"I can see I've worried you, Mary, but it's really ok."
Mary pursed her lips.
"Adelia..."
It wasn't very often Mary called her directly, and only when none of the maids were around.
"Are you sure, dear? I thought so this morning before you met with the King. You were smiling so brightly, but you - "
She hesitated.
"You still looked so sad."
Mary's whole face had twisted horribly and her hands were now a tangled mess from all the wringing. Adelia felt she deserved a thousand deaths for worrying the kind old lady to this degree.
"I told the King that I want to move back to the Tietia Palace. Maybe it's because I need to leave my childhood behind now, and that made me a little sad."
It wasn't a complete lie.
Her answer seemed to be enough for Mary - although there was still a trace of misbelief in her eyes as she clapped her hands and grinned broadly.
"Oh Princess, that is fantastic news!"
Adelia grit her teeth. Everyone was so happy about this news. She really had been wayward in her past life.
The traces had now left Mary completely and she was in a complete huff of excitement.
"I'll get the maids to start preparing right away! And don't you worry, Adelia dear, I will make sure it is all done so quickly and perfectly all you'll need to do is walk from here to there and everything will be prepared."
Adelia couldn't help giggling. It seemed Mary was a little more excited than the others.
Set on her newfound objective, Mary excused herself and from the sounds of rushing and banging in the Palace, Adelia assumed the maids were being drilled quite hard.
Adelia looked down at the document on her desk. Now that her mood had lifted she looked at it in a new light.
She didn't know how she'd treat Nathaniel yet. It would be difficult for her to treat him the same as she did in her first life at this time, but if she mentally prepared herself, she was sure she could do something passable.
She reached out, took her quill and signed at the bottom. Wrapping the document up into a roll, she poured melted wax over the edges and pushed her signet ring into the wax, forming a seal.
She thought back to her relationship with Nathaniel at this time. They were on fairly good terms.
In some ways she had even looked forward to their marriage. There was no love or anything like that - but she had respected him. He was even kind and respectful.
She didn't know if it was an act, or things had changed later. She remembered for sure it all changed suddenly on the night of her wedding - but she wasn't sure if there were signs before then that she hadn't noticed.
A thought suddenly occured to her. The two would exchange letters often at this age.
She reached down to her right and pulled open the bottom door. As she'd remembered, there were a stack of letters piled neatly in the drawer.
She took the top letter in the pile and began to read.
She had a vague memory of this letter. They'd exchanged stories of their lives - hers had been about her travels around the country helping her citizens and avoiding her tutors, and his reply had been about his time at 'University'.
Universities didn't exist in Erin but from Nathaniel's letter she had discovered they were large institutions where many academics gathered to research.
She had been fascinated and they had later talked about setting up similar institutions in Erin when one day they ruled the kingdom together.
Adelia scoffed and threw the letter back into the drawer.
On second thought, it was going to be difficult to treat him the same as he expected. Once a snake, always a snake. She really wanted to know what was truly going through his mind when he'd written such heartfelt lies.
She chewed her tongue.
No. As much as it made her angry, maybe she could glean something.
She pulled the full stack of letters out of the drawer and began to read.