Elisse's POV
"This can't be happening!" I said in disbelief as I blinked several times to make sure I am reading it right. In my hand was a piece of stick where women either made them estatic or scared upon getting the results. For me, it was both. I guess somehow I knew this would happen after a night of unimaginable pleasure had occured between me and... Jax.
Yes. Jax and I had spent so many nights together in either his apartment or mine. Most of the time we use protection but one particular night, the night of all nights, where I completely forgot that I haven't taken any pills and he didn't use protection. We were both very drunk and so hot that we just "do the did" without even thinking of the consequences.
I guess I was in the moment of passion or maybe I just relied on the irregular cycle of my period that I wasn't aware he actually squirted that warm liquid inside me and the result was in this stick. A pregnancy test that visibly showed two horizontal lines, after peeing on it.
I got five positives! Five positives from different pregnancy tests! What will I do? How will I tell Jax?
My head spins. I knew it's not a panic attack but probably due to the pregnancy. Morning sickness got the better of me as I started to vomit. For the past few days, I have been feeling more tired than usual and has been vomiting non-stop. That's why I decided to take a test.
I went to the sink in the bathroom and just barfed. I have an eight o' clock appointment with a client this morning and here I am barely standing from all this madness.
'Ugh! Why me?'
After that day Jax helped me in reporting the incident, he took me home and we spent the whole day together. It started with a coffee, then kissing in the couch and later on, all the clothes went flying on the floor. How we ended up in my bedroom, I have no idea. What I remember is that he was a good kisser to the point that I just lost control of myself and moaned the whole time. The man was an expert in bed!
His perfectly sculpted body, kissable lips and jet black hair in which I literally ran my fingers through the whole time his huge manhood was inside me, was so perfect that we lasted for thirty minutes. He became my pill. My drug, that drives me nuts and on the edge every time we touched. There was not a single time that we were together that we never did it. I felt like we were Christian and Anastasia from the Fifty Shades movie minus all the ropes and crazy sex toys they used. We made use of what we have which is more natural and exciting, if you know what I mean.
We went out a couple of times. He would picked me up from work sometimes and go out to dinner or just do something exciting. That night that we had an explosive and passionate night, we came from a party. Chelsea and Olive announced their engagement. We were happy for them so booze filled up the whole place as Jax and I couldn't keep our hands off each other. Until, later on, we decided to get a cab out of our drunkenness. As soon as we got to my door, we felt the need to get in each other's pants, that we almost ripped our own clothes off, ready to devour each other.
I wasn't thinking. Jax was amazing. He is actually gentle and very protective. After that day, there was not a day that he never checks in with me. We don't have labels yet. What we have is just a special kind of relationship. The kind wherein you feel you just belong in each other's arms.. that every time he touches you, sparks fly sending light all over your body and gives you a satisfying feeling of being... home.
Am I in love? Not sure yet. But one thing I knew, I like him.... a lot. It is the very first time I felt this way towards a man since... Miguel Lee. I liked him being around. There wasn't a day I stopped looking for him. He makes me happy and that's what's important.
But, now what? What will he say about this? How will I tell him? Can I just say, "you're going to be a dad, Jax" when we're not even a couple? How?
There was a knock on my front door and I slowly dragged myself out of the bathroom to open it. As I opened it, I saw Jax standing outside, smiling.
Oh god!
"Hi. How's my beautiful Elisse?" His? I suddenly become his possession and it's weird but it made me feel special.
"I-I'm good," I said nervously as I closed the front door. "It's still early Jax. What are you doing here?"
"Well..." he wrapped his arms around my waist. His warm hands feeling my back sending little currents throughout my body. "I wanted to check in with you as you said you were sick."
Should I tell him? I suddenly felt nervous. But even if he rejects it, that's fine with me. I can take care of my own child even if I am clueless on how to do it. The most important thing is, I definitely will learn how to love... odd but suddenly, I believed it. Maybe not in a romantic way but at least, the idea of holding a child in your arms make me feel wonderful. The smile.. the hugs that you can get from them... I guess that counts as LOVE.
I smiled at him. In my own time, I will tell him. But right now, it was too early. I still need to get a blood test done and find out how to control my morning sickness. Thinking about it, I suddenly felt awful and pushed Jax away, running to the bathroom. I barfed in the sink as I heard Jax striding quickly towards me and I shut the door on his face, locking it.
"Elisse... are you okay?" he said as he knocked on the door frantically. "Elisse! Open the door please. Let me help you."
"No... it's okay. I just... I don't want you to see me like this," I groaned.
I heard him laugh behind the door. "I've seen worst, honey. So whatever it is, I can handle it."
"I dont't know... maybe not this one."
"Elisse... you don't need to get embarassed. Please, honey, let me help you. Open the door..."
I was about to open the door when I remembered the pregnancy tests. I need to get rid of them before he finds out.
"Elisse.." he called again as I took them all on top of the sink and into the trash can. Thank goodness my trash bin is quite full, so even if I am disgusted by all the creepy stuff I put in there, I dipped them all on the bottom of the can. My eyes were closed the whole time and stopped myself from puking again. It was so gross that I have to wash my hands two times with foaming soap so I won't think about it.
I opened the door, trying to smile. I felt guilty hiding this from him but this is the only way for me to find out if everything is going to be okay...because this is not the first time it ever happened. The first time has been difficult already and having it repeated, it made me more nervous and anxious.
For some, they would think it is better to get rid of it but I can't seem to put it in my head. So as much as I am not sure where this is all going between me and Jax, I still want to keep the baby. His baby.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.
"Y-Yeah. Maybe just something I ate last night," I said and tried not to look into his eyes.
"Do you want me to take you to the hospital? It might be something? Stomach bug or... wait! You're not pregnant, are you?"
I didn't know what to say. Should I tell him?
"W-Why would you say that?" I asked, still avoiding his eyes. I tried to walk past him but my knees wobbled and I felt nauseous. I held on to his arm and he held me, keeping me in balance.
"Easy. Let's get you to bed," he said as he scooped me up in his strong arms and brought me to my bedroom. He laid me gently on the bed as he took off his shoes and jacket, dropping them to the floor to sit down beside me. He took another pillow and placed it beneath my head to propped me up. I turned on my side to face him as he sat down beside me.
"Jax..." I uttered. It was so hard to resist his sweetness. His gentleness just made my heart melt every time and wishing for more.
"Come here," he said as I lay myself on top of his chest. He ran his fingers through my ginger hair and I closed my eyes. He kissed the top of my head as his other hand took my hand and held it playfully. I just smiled.
"So, I was thinking... maybe we can go out and meet some friends in my office."
"What?!" My head popped up all of a sudden in surprise. "Why?"
"Don't you want to meet Tristan? I'm sure you would like to meet the guy Jane was dating."
The last time I spoke to Jane was a week ago, telling me about how wonderful Tristan is. That it was a bit exciting sneaking out of the office every lunch time. I was actually glad for Jane that she had finally found someone who made her happy. But meeting other people, high-end people in particular, made me nervous all of a sudden.
I have tried my best to keep myself away from these kind of people, partly to be judged and mostly because I might bumped into someone who knew me... who knew my secrets... my past. I am not ready to tell anyone yet... not now, not ever. Most especially now that I am carrying Jax's baby...
"Why do you want me to go?" I asked. I have never been to events where I am introduced as a girlfriend or even a date and for the first time I felt awkward. Not that I don't know how to socialize, which I surely am, but meeting some rich people made me uncomfortable.
"Why not?" he replied and held my face. "Listen, Elisse, I liked you a lot and for me, you are really special. Besides, I would need a date so other women would not hover over me during the party."
I raised my eyebrow at him.
"You think you're quite a catch, don't you?" I teased.
"Well, what do you think?" and he lowered his head towards me, kissing me passionately. I suddenly felt ashamed for not even brushing my teeth and he might have tasted my bile in my mouth. So, I pushed him away and he let go of my lips. He looked at me, confused.
"Sorry," I smiled, sheepishly. "My mouth tastes bad and... you might get the virus."
He chuckled. "Well, I don't mind getting sick if I'm going to be with the sexiest woman alive."
Before I could speak, he kissed me again. We lasted for a few seconds before my stomach started to churn again. I pushed him away and ran quickly to the bathroom. I made sure I locked the door and I barfed once again.
"How are you?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist as soon as I got out of the bathroom. "Can you take a shower or do you want me to do it for you?"
"Shower? Why?"
"Well, we're going to see Dr. Cruz today, my physician. I think you need to be checked out."
"What? Jax, you don't need to-"
"I insist. Now, do you want to take a shower by yourself or..." and his hand creeped in under my night slip. He bit his lip as he touched my sensitive part. I almost lost balance as he slowly massaged it. I closed my eyes as I held onto his neck.
"How does it make you feel?"
I didn't answer as my brain cells just focused on one thing only: his fingers inside me. He maneuvred his fingers slowly then faster as my whole body heats up and the next thing you know, we were both in the shower naked. We did it in the shower and somehow I didn't even feel a single minute to vomit. It felt like his kisses just cured my morning sicknes.
A few minutes later, we were in bed. Our bodies exposed under the sheets and we were spooning.
I can do this all day.
Then it dawned me. I looked at the father of my child intimately. I know it would be too soon and I was not really planning on telling him now but... there was something about him that made me feel raw... open. Like every part of me just wanted to let him know who I am... that I should never be afraid to show him.
This is his baby after all and he needs to know.... now. It doesn't matter if it's too early to tell. Somehow my gut feeling knew that this baby will live... that it will want to live to meet his parents. I knew from there that Jax would be a great dad...
"Jax," I started as I held his face.
"Yes..."
"Uhmm..."
"Go on, Elisse."
"I took a test this morning."
"And..."
"I got five positives..." there I said it. I was waiting for his shocking reply but instead he smiled at me.
"I know..."
I creased my eyebrows. " What do you mean?"
"I knew you will get pregnant with that one time, Elisse."
I stared at his gentle black eyes. Those eyes that tell me that "I will take care of you" and that I should not worry because he will be there. He will be responsible of it.
I smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss.
"Thank you," are the only words I can say for now and placed my head on his rock hard chest. For the first time, I finally felt safe... I'm home.