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Yeah! Here's the new chapter!
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Well, all of you may be wondering if I had anything to do with the article about Lockhart in the Daily Prophet, and the answer to that question is... Of course I do!
You guys weren't thinking that the only thing I was going to do with him this year was play pranks on him, right?
I already knew Lockhart wouldn't continue teaching DADA for more than a year, and this time it wouldn't be the fault of the curse Riddle cast on the DADA teacher post, as it's already gone thanks to me, who took the diadem in the Room of Hidden Things.
Ironically, I didn't even know the diadem was the cause of the curse. I only found out that the curse was broken when I went back to analyzing the diadem and saw that its magic was trying to connect to the school, or more specifically, the DADA classroom.
But back to the subject...
I knew that thanks to the changes I made Lockhart wouldn't obliviate himself like he did in canon, and so from the beginning of classes I started planning a way to get rid of this stupid peacock man.
And I didn't just want him fired from the post of professor of DADA, I wanted more... I wanted him arrested in Azkaban.
And I had everything I needed to get him arrested, or more specifically, Lockhart did.
So I just needed to put my plan into action.
The initial stage of my plan was to show everyone at school that he was useless, and he did most of the work himself with his stupid classes.
I helped ruin his reputation in my own way, which was humiliating him with pranks.
When his reputation was already very low I decided to start with the second part of my plan.
I sent Skeeter a letter anonymously, telling her about how Lockhart was a useless show-off, and as a reporter who loved to defame someone, Skeeter was ecstatic about my letter, and after that I started exchanging letters with her weekly.
I had convinced her to have an interview with Lockhart, so she could find out more and then publish a full notice about him.
It was easy to get Lockhart to meet Skeeter in a private room at the Three Broomsticks, Skeeter only had to send a letter saying he wanted to interview multi-award-winning Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin and blah blah blah.
And on the day of the interview I cast the disillusionment charm on myself and went to Hogsmead through the secret passages. In Hogsmead I followed him to Three Broomsticks, and when he was talking to Skeeter I just had to throw a few drops of Veritaserum I stole from Snape's Potions Storeroom into Lockhart's drink.
After that I cast a [Confundus], making him talk all about himself and his 'feats' under the potion without even realizing what he was talking about, and then I sat in the corner and enjoyed the show.
And I have to say, Skeeter is great at looking up information. She knew what questions to ask, and in the end I could only look pityingly at Lockhart who hadn't noticed the Quick-Quotes Quill writing furiously.
At the end of this interview, Skeeter came out with a big smile on his face and some very interesting and juicy information, and I who had remained in the room disappeared with all traces of the Veritaserum potion from Lockhart's cup and body.
After that I took his wand and erased his memory, and because of that he doesn't remember about what happened in the interview, and when the Aurors look they will see that he used the [Obliviate] spell recently.
And that was my entire plan to destroy Lockhart, and so far everything is going the way I planned.
I knew the ministry wasn't going to try to hush up the case, as many of the purebloods who lined the minister's pockets didn't like Lockhart.
And I didn't worry about the horny ladies who would try to defend Lockhart, as for every excited lady there was an angry husband, and those husbands would do anything to end the man their wives keep talking about and dreaming about.
Not to mention the sensible women who didn't fall for this show-off idiot.
And with that I didn't have to do anything but sit back and wait for the news about Lockhart to arrive, informing me that he had been found guilty of his crimes and that he would be sent to Azkaban.
Sometimes even I'm afraid of my evil and vengeful mind...
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-Great Hall - Dinner-
"I would like everyone's attention" Dumbledore said rising from his seat, his voice echoing through the Great Hall drawing the attention of all the students.
'That's what I call having presence' I thought, shaking my head in wonder.
"As you know, there has been some shocking news about your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, and upon this news the ministry has decided that he should be interrogated at a hearing to verify the veracity of the information in this news." Headmaster said, and now everyone was concentrating on his words.
"After an extensive and careful trial, the ministry found that the information cited in the newspaper article about Mr. Lockhart is indeed true, and after a debate he was found guilty of his crimes, and for that he was sent to Azkaban."
When the Headmaster finished speaking, all the students and even the teachers exclaimed, surprised and shocked, and some students were even crying, but I didn't know if they were tears of sadness or happiness... Probably both.
And meanwhile I was totally using my occlumency to keep myself from laughing like a maniac, but I was so happy that even occlumency couldn't stop a smile from breaking out on my face.
"You look very happy" Luna said to me.
"Weird, because I'm sure you're very happy too," I said, looking at the smile she had on her face.
"I don't know what you're talking about... Maybe the Wrackspurts are affecting your mind" she told me, looking away.
"Uhm" I said unconvinced.
"And with this news, I would like to apologize to all of you" the Headmaster said with regret and guilt in his tone, and everyone turned to look at him confused, "I was the one who hired Mr. Lockhart, and even though he didn't having done nothing dangerous in your time as a teacher here, I still feel like I owe you all an apology and..."
The Headmaster couldn't even finish talking as all the students started screaming that it wasn't his fault and that he shouldn't apologize to us.
Even the teachers were saying he wasn't to blame for anything, and I could feel the Headmaster's sadness and guilt shift to uncertainty and relief.
He then looked at all the students, seeing that they were defending him and trying to cheer him up, and a small smile appeared on his old face.
'That's why he's the leader of the light' I thought with a smile, wanting to said 'fuck you' to all those Dumbledors in fanfics who are evil manipulators who have no feelings or emotions.
"Ahem... I'm glad to see that you guys don't blame me for hiring Mr. Lockhart, but I still feel like I'm guilty that you guys didn't have a good DADA teacher this year" the Headmaster said, and before so that the others could start defending him again he continued, "And that's why, as a way for me apologize to you and for not having a professor for the position, until the end of this school year I will be professor of Defense Against your Dark Arts!"
Finishing saying that, the Headmaster looked at everyone with his blue eyes shining, with a smile on his face.
When the students heard that they would have Albus himself many names Dumbledore in person teaching them DADA they started clapping and cheering excitedly.
And even I was cheering, as this would be the first time I had a decent DADA teacher teaching me.
"Today can be considered one of the best days of my life here at Hogwarts," I heard Terry say happily.
"Mine too my friend, mine too," I said, a smile on my face.
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-Meanwhile in Azkaban-
In a corridor of this huge prison, two guards could be seen dragging a handcuffed prisoner who was wearing a dark blue prison uniform with gray stripes.
The uniform was torn and dirty, but it matched the prisoner's dirty, messy appearance.
"No! Please, I'm innocent!" Lockhart screamed as he was dragged by guards to his cell.
"Yes, yes, we know" one of the guards said rolling his eyes.
"I can't stay here! I'm Gilderoy Lockhart! I have an Order of Merlin: Third Class and..." Lockhart started to speak while crying.
"and is an Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League" the guard interrupted him, continuing his sentence for him, "Everyone has heard you say that at least 10 times since you got here" he said wearily.
"Hey, maybe you can win over the Dementors with your smile five-times champion of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile" the other guard said nudging Lockhart, a mocking smile on his face, probably being one of the husbands who has a wife who was in love with Lockhart.
"Dementors?" Lockhart asked in a panic, but no one answered him.
The guards then continued to drag him to his cell, ignoring his screams and cries.
Arriving in front of a dirty and cold cell the guards took off Lockhart's handcuffs and threw him into the cell without ceremony.
After falling to the floor Lockhart sat up, looking around in fear and disgust.
"I hope you survive without your hair gel" the same guard as before said with a mocking and cruel smile after closing the cell, and then without waiting for an answer from Lockhart he and the other guard turned and left, leaving Lockhart alone to process that last sentence.
...
...
...
...
"Am I going to run out of my hair gel? No... This can't be happening! My hair... My gel... My photos..." Lockhart started muttering with a look of despair and madness on his face, pulling the hairs off his head.
"NOOOOOOO!" a cry of despair echoed through the prison, but it was drowned out by the screams and laughter of the other prisoners, who were amused by the suffering of their cell neighbor.
End.
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(End AN: And another question. If you could change one couple in the franchise, which couple would you change?
And considering all the HP fanfics you've read, who is your favorite couple?)