"HEY."
I leaned on to give her a kiss on her cheek before taking my seat.
I smiled at her as I look at her simple but elegant look.
She's wearing a dark green, sleeveless, fitted dress. It's neckline shows a bit of her cleavage. Only deep enough.
She's wearing a silver necklace that matches her earings. Her hair just laid down.
I approached her to put some of her hair strands at the back of her ears. She smiled sweetly at the gesture. I smiled a bit and stared at her for a second before going back to my seat.
"Have you waited long?"
I asked Sandra as I raised my hand, calling the waiter.
She smiled after shaking her haid a bit.
"No. You're just in time." I smiled upon hearing her sweet, angelic voice.
"You look so beautiful, Sandra."
I didn't realize I said that out loud! I laughed at myself.
Dude, you're spacing out!
She laughed a bit at what I said. I gave her an amused look.
"Why? I'm telling you the truth." She waved her hand in front of my face and tried to supress her smile. Her cheeks are now turning red.
Cute.
"Hey, come on! Let's just order." She tried to sound irritated but that didn't work. I chuckled at her cuteness.
Sandra's a well known architect. She's in demand not just here but also to different countries.
She's a very busy person as I am. But she always makes her time available for us. One thing that I like about her. We date each other atleast once a week.
We understand each other even if sometimes, our schedules just won't meet! Sometimes, I would surprise her by visiting her at their office.
There's no way a man could not like her. She's a package. And I know my feelings towards her. It's just that, I know I'm still not that fully into her.
We actually talk about my situation often. I don't want to be unfair to her. Besides, neither of us really expected that we'll end up dating each other for real.
We both thought we won't have a spark. But it happened.
And I'm glad that she understands and that she agreed on keeping our relationship lowkey and slowly.
We were laughing when my phone vibrated from my pocket. Laurence is calling. I answered. Gesturing my hands at Sandra, telling her I'll just get the call. She just nodded before covering her mouth with her hand.
I suppressed my laughter knowing she's still on the verge of laughing from our conversations.
"Yow dude, sup!" I answered.
"Bro. Shit, I'm so nervous. This is it, man!" My smile faded a bit. I forced back a smile when I realized Sandra's looking at me.
I cleared my throat before asking the question I'm afraid of asking.
"Why? You planning on doing the proposal already?" I bit the inside of my lips. I saw Sandra's worried look.
I reached for her hand on the table and smiled. I know that didn't reach my eyes, but I want to assure her that it's okay.
"Damn dude, it's all planned! You'll be the one to fetch her, okay? Tomorrow afternoon. I'll just text you the location and what you will say as an excuse. Do you have plans tomorrow? You can't miss the day!" I know he didn't intend to mean anything bad. I know my place. I know that I'm just a close friend to the both of them. And of course, them for me too. I just can't help but feel these unnecessary bad feelings.
I shook my head to brush away the thoughts and smiled again.
"Of course. We're talking about Felix here! Of course that is impossible, dude!" I made myself sound like I was just messing with him but In reality, I just wanted to throw my cellphone and runaway from here. But I can't do that.
Not in front of Sandra..
"Be sure to be there tomorrow, okay?" He is persistent.
"I got it, I got it! Your pestering my date, dude! Come on~"
I joked.
"Hey! Say hi to Sandra for me! Alright, alright. You didn't tell me I was being a pester to your date, dude, sorry! Hahahaha! I'll see you tomorrow! Shit, pray for me bro! Gotta go! Bye~ Luv you bro!"
I shook my head as I stare at my phone...
My smile faded little by little when I suddenly realized what we just talked about.
I knew that this day would eventually come...
It's already been a few months since me and Laurence talked about this, and I am aware and been preparing myself for this.
But why does it still affect me this way?!
I still can't help but feel this way...
I felt Sandra's grip on my hand tightened which brought me back to reality.
I almost forgot that I am with her!
I apologetically looked at her and smiled. She caressed my cheek and nodded.
"It's always alright to be true to yourself, Felix. You don't need to pretend that you're always strong in front of me. Let me see every piece of you. Let me join you on your process of healing. I won't mind. I understand. I promise."
I stood up to moved to her side and hugged her. I'm so thankful I have her. Even if I can't give her my hundred percent yet, she's contented.
I felt her hugged me too while caressing my back.
I promise myself that one day, I will give her even greater than my one hundred percent. One day, I won't be thinking of other besides you girl anymore. One day, it will only be her.
So please just bare with me a little longer.. Sandra...