It's 9 pm and we've reached the point where we're going our separate ways.
"I can walk by myself from here."
Rin turns to me as she says that.
"Thank you so much for today, I had a lot of fun."
She supports her words with a beautiful smile as the street light shines down on her face. I knit my eyebrows in response.
Inside those crystal pupils is an emotion that definitely doesn't scream happiness or anything of the like. It's something I, without a doubt, would have missed if I weren't her childhood friend.
"I'll walk you home."
That proposition comes out of my mouth before I have time to process it. Rin gently closes her eyes and shakes her head.
"Thanks for offering, but it's fine. You're tired too, so you should go home and get some rest."
"Thanks for the considerations, but I'm a-okay, if I do say so myself. It's getting late, so it's for the best if I walk you home."
"But..."
I reach out my hand, and my fingers interlock with her dainty fingers.
"Well, that's what I would say to show off, but truthfully, I just want to spend more time with you, Rin."
Rin's pupils go all round like marbles. Before I know it, she lets her guard down.
"I see..."
The spring in her voice betrays the cold front she tries to put up. I give her small hands a tighter squeeze.
"I feel the same way too, Tohru-kun."
Words aren't necessary anymore. And so, with our four legs, we make our way to Rin's house. We don't really talk about anything, instead the two of us slowly continue our trek. The areas where we live are a ways away from the nearest station, so there's not many people. Besides, it's late at night and the chances of passing by someone else is highly unlikely.
From a distance, the thundering of a train can be heard. Once in a while, a car drives by the road near us. And right beside me, I can hear the sound of Rin's breaths.
For a moment, those noises all disappear. That sweet scent from besides drifts up to my nose, my mind going all numb in response.
I shake my head, telling myself to stop. As I shake those accursed thoughts from my head, Rin is in high spirits as she hums away. It's a performance that only I know about. I can feel electricity flowing through my nerves again, The usual 10 minute walk takes us 15, as we finally arrive at Rin's house.
"Thanks again for today."
"No problem, I had a lot of fun too."
"Did you get some good inspiration for your story?"
"Oh yeah, it was perfect! I think I'll write a 100,000 character story about cat cafes!"
"You really are going to make a story about a cat cafe?"
"That should be plenty for a complete story!"
"Well, at least you're enthusiastic. Anyways..."
Rin bows her head in front of me.
"Thank you for everything... I really mean it."
"It's fine, no need to worry about it. Just think of it as one one hundredth of payback for everything you've done for me."
"Then as thanks, I'll make you some bamboo shoots for your lunch tomorrow."
"Crap, looks like it just became one one thousandth."
"Bamboo shoots shouldn't inflate the rate of thanks."
I sense a subtle change in her attitude. I felt that sense of discomfort before too. Those regal features are taking on a gloomy look.
"Hey..."
"Yes?"
"Is... something wrong?"
"Huh?"
"Well, it's just that... you don't seem to be doing all that well."
Rin blinks in surprise to my straight forward question. With a hum, the light above my head turns on.
"Oh I know, having to part ways makes you feel all lonely, huh? It has to be that!"
I cross my arms as I put on a grandiose show. If I joke around like this, maybe Rin will return to her normal self. The tension was supposed to go in smoke but...
"You really can just see right through me..."
Her being so serious catches me off guard. Before I can think of what to say, Rin opens her mouth again.
"Tohru-kun, at McDonalds, remember when you said there was a possibility we would never meet if Syrup wasn't there?"
"Y-yeah... I did say that."
I learned something surprising today. In the early summer of second grade, I had a chance encounter at the school library. Little did I know, Syrup was the catalyst for all of that. I finally got to hear the other side of the story from our meeting ten years ago. Learning that now was a major shock to my system.
"I was imagining it in my head, if we never met that time... how different would things be?"
We look up at the starless sky as Rin bares her feelings.
"Talking with you, eating all those delicious foods, even just hanging out with you... That would have never happened."
...
"And I just began to feel so lonely."
It feels like that feeble smile on her face would fade away into the night if I tried to touch it. I try to imagine it in my head.
What if Rin and I never met?
Talking with Rin, eating all those delicious foods with and even hanging out with her. And as a reader, she supported my dream every day. I had a smile on my face when I those supportive comments saying my story was good. And when my dream came true, we cried together. All those irreplaceable memories would disappear just like that.
Ah, she's right. Imagining that makes me feel lonely too. It hurts, as if the blood vessels in my chest started to clump together.
"T-Tohru-kun?"
Before I realize what's going on, Rin snuggles herself against my chest. It's so warm and I feel so dizzy from the smell.
"Everything will be fine, because I'll be here."
I tell that to Rin, as if I'm making an eternal vow.
"Forever and always, I'll be with you."
Those were words to put Rin at ease and also to distract from my own loneliness. I squeeze both my arms and I start to stroke her long and luscious hair, as if I'm making Rin in fact actually exists.
"Me too."
Rin returns my hug. Maybe she felt the sense of loneliness that was growing within me too. For a little while, we share each other's warmth. Eventually, we separate, realizing we're both outdoors.
"Ah... we did something so bold in public..."
"I-I'm more manly than you think I am."
I throw out my chest, trying to put on a brave face, but even a pencil could burst open my facade.
"I'm well aware of that but..."
Saying that, Rin brings her face closer to mine.
"How about you only show your manly side in front of me?"
"Of course. I'll make sure to act like a beautiful girl in front of everyone but you then."
"How about I get the truck ready now?"
"Are you trying to get me isekai'd!?"
Rin puts her hand over her mouth as she laughs. It's a pure smile that is as bright as the eye can see.
"Alright then, see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you."
And so, we part ways. I turn my back on the waving Rin and head towards my house. The air in the city isn't that great, but I feel amazing, I mean, this is my first date with Rin. Thinking back, this has to be the best day of my life.