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Chapter 58 - I am an orphan now!

*Mackenzie pov

Yoongi and Shay have both been stepped down from ICU and are continuing to recover well. They have been on the general surgical ward for a week now and Drs are happy with their progress. They should be able to go home in a day or so. Yoongi complains about his physio and the food. Shay is more upset by his need for a haircut. He has his eye on one of the pretty young nurses looking after him and feels insecure and unattractive. I think he looks cute with his hair flopped over one eye, and I'm certain the beautiful young nurse does too! A Mothers instinct.

I informed Yoongi of all the latest information on his father on the day he was transferred from ICU. He tells me never to call him that again. If we really have to mention him at all he is to be referred to as Jay only from now on. I am so sad for him. They may not have had a great relationship, infact it was rather toxic and Yoongi is better off out of it, but he has just lost his remaining living parent. I tell him so but he is unmoved. "He is nothing to me anymore. He has never been the father I needed, or deserved. He is dead to me. He no longer exists. He was not present in my life as a child, he is responsible for my Mother's death and he almost stole my future from me. I am an orphan now and I couldn't be happier"

Jay has been charged with 3 counts of false imprisonment, 2 counts of attempted murder, possession of an illegal firearm, smuggling of a firearm and a few other small charges that will probably be dismissed. The lawyers report he is likely to go to prison for a minimum of 15 years, which he will serve in England. If he is still alive after that time passes he will be extradited back to Korea to face charges for his part in my kidnap and attempted murder.

Jag-eun and Jong-un are both fine now and have been in to visit a few times. Yoongi can't believe he was in his induced coma for over 3 weeks. Big hit have sent flowers and cards and told him to relax and get well, but not to take too much longer about it as they need him and Namjoon back!! He laughs at that. The rest of BTS have been FaceTiming him regularly which has been fun. They are all great guys. They really are all very close. Yoongi and Namjoon have even had some work related zoom meetings from his hospital bed.

Between all the other activity Yoongi has been writing furiously whilst recovering this past week. He has had a pen in his hand 24 hours a day since waking up in ICU.

A few days ago he almost used a pair of pencils instead of chopsticks to eat his lunch. He has gone through a number of pens already, their exsanguinated ink used to write page after page of lyrics, music arrangements, beat patterns and collaboration suggestions. He has been prolific. Unfalteringly driven. Inspiration has hit him hard. It is fascinating to watch this process. He is very insular and not very communicative when he's working, but he is so focussed, so immersed in his creativity that I am more than happy to quietly watch. Namjoon tells me over coffee one afternoon that Yoongi has been known to shut himself away for weeks at a time when he is inspired, desperate to get everything transferred from his head onto a page, tangible evidence of his genius, but also of his vulnerability, passion and also his compassion. It is his therapy. Committing his thoughts to paper helps him to work through his feelings about and towards those in his life, allowing his mind to remain healthy. He has worked so hard. Yesterday morning I found him asleep in his chair, his left cheek on the small bedside table, a little pool of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth onto a sheet of blue notepad paper, a pen still in his hand. He was snoring gently.

I remove the pen from his hand and gently stroke his head, quietly whispering his name as I coax him to lift his face from the table, a sheet of paper remaining adhered to him. I remove the paper and continue to tilt him back into the chair. I release the catch on the side and the chair begins to recline. Once he is lying back I place his left arm up on some pillows as instructed by his physiotherapist and cover him with a fluffy blanket I brought him from home. I wipe his mouth and apply a little chapstick to his lips before dropping a small kiss on his forehead and collecting up the scattered pages. I'm thankful he numbers his pages using Roman numerals which I recognise and understand so I can organise them correctly for him.

Once I'm done I take a seat on the other side of the bed and consider the thick stack of paper on my lap. I'd love to read his words, but even if I did read Korean I wouldn't do it without permission. I would never violate his privacy that way.

I can't help but notice that the first page is covered in my name, doodles of hearts and the word 'salang' in various fonts and sizes. I'm not sure what that means but I feel that it is likely to be a good thing. I get out my phone and use a translator app to look it up. It means 'LOVE'

I glance over at him sleeping and smile. After all he has been through recently he has chosen to write about love. That sums up my man perfectly.

He is a lover. Despite the spiky exterior he often displays he is in actuality, a marshmallow filled kitten!