Day one:
I wake up slowly but keep my eyes closed. I feel groggy, my head feels as heavy as Thor's hammer, my tongue like sandpaper.
I try to move but can't, my entire body feels like it is literally being sucked into the earth... gravity seems to be working extra hard on me today!
Im lying on my left side, in a semi fetal position...normal for me. What's very wrong is that I am not in my bed, not even in my house!
What?
I sit up and swing my legs round, placing my feet on the floor. I rub my eyes and wince at the pain in my head. Did I drink too much last night? Wouldn't be the first time, but I don't remember? My last memories struggling to find their way to the front of my fuzzy mind.
I blink a few times to try and get my bearings.... this place looks TERRIFYING! I think of the SAW series of films. This place looks like a set for one of Jigsaws "little games"!
Holy shit!! What if it is?!
How ridiculous I'm being.
So where the fuck am I, who brought me here, and more importantly WHY am I here?
I get up carefully, feeling weak and unsteady, although having no memory of why, and look around. The room is large and dirty. It looks like a very poorly maintained tube station... damp, dingy and only minimally lit by 2 flickering fluorescent tube lights that are filled with the tiny carcasses of fried flies and moths. Many of the ceiling tiles are missing, some seem still to be in pieces on the floor.
The tiled walls are grimy, so grimy infact that previous visitors to the room have been able to draw pictures in the dirt. I look closer at some of the images, and notice what looks like Japanese writing? Some words using the English alphabet, but the words make no sense to me. It does not look reminiscent of any language i am familiar with!?
Who wrote it? Aliens? Psychotic drug using maniacs? Dyslexics? Young children? I feel my heart start to beat a little faster, I can hear the blood rushing in my ears, my stomach begins to turn over, my throat starts to water and my legs begin to tremble. Great... here comes a panic attack! Not what I need whilst trying to work out where the hell I am, but understandable I guess.
I close my eyes and concentrate on trying to regulate my breathing, "breathe in through the nose counting slowly.... 1,2,3,4,5..... breathe out through the mouth counting 1,2,3,4,5"
I do this for a minute or two, keeping my eyes firmly closed, imagining myself in a beautiful woodland, seeing dappled sunlight on the ground, smelling the heavenly scent of post rainfall earth, the relaxing sound of leaves blowing in a gentle breeze, feeling that same breeze caress my face and neck. I'm getting good at this visualisation technique now. I feel myself relaxing, feel the smile begin to tug at the corners of my mouth and give myself a mental shake, a little pep talk, reminding myself that a panicked mind has no room for problem solving, and I clearly have a problem to solve here. I feel calmer again.
I let out a long slow breath and turn my mind to trying to figure out what kind of place this is? A disused space obviously, but what was it in a former life? Hospital? School? Prison??? Is that relevant?
I take in my immediate vicinity.
The bed I have just vacated is a beautiful wood carved king size, with black and dark grey bedding. There is a bedside table to the left of the bed. On it are a lamp, a book about property law, and confusingly, 2 glasses of water. There's a fan at the end of the bed and what looks like a portable gas fire to the right. There is also a reclining high backed wing chair. That's it. Someone has built an entire and comfortable looking bedroom in the middle of a sports hall? Cafeteria?
I continue to slowly move around the edge of the room, hearing the sound of my bare feet (bare feet outside of my home?) padding over the cold damp floor. I look down, my feet are going a beautiful shade of purple due to the cold right now, and are scraped.
Why aren't I wearing shoes?
I readjust my focus and look down at my body and see I am no longer wearing the grey fleecy shorty pyjamas I went to bed in. I am now wearing a short white gown. I've only ever seen something like this on patients in hospitals before now, but they are usually much longer than this one. As well as being only just long enough to cover the curve of my bum, it is made of a very thin cotton fabric, providing absolutely no warmth whatsoever, and to my absolute horror, giving my braless torso no hiding place either! Where are my clothes?!
My hands immediately run down my abdomen to the hem of the gown, lifting it slightly and feeling below, checking for underwear. Thankful to find my modesty is protected from view by a layer of fabric I breathe a sigh of relief and look down to see my red and lacy high cut thong, which is all too apparent through the barely there, flimsy white gown! Crap! The shame!
My cheeks flame... someone has seen me dressed like this. Shit.... someone actually dressed me like this... removed my clothes and put me in this gown, and then this room!
Who, and why??!
I go back to the bed and retrieve a black fleecy blanket and hug it around myself. Its so cold I can actually see my breath!!
I feel better knowing my nipples are at least no longer exposed. This blanket feels comforting. It's soft, warm, and has a hint of woody/musky cologne.
Making my way towards the furthest end of the room I notice lots of scraps of blue paper, some balled up and others full, flat sheets. I bend over and pick a sheet up from the driest place I can find and look at it. Musical notes, and more writing, just like on the walls. I can't read it.
I hear a sound and it startles me. It sounded like a sharp intake of breathe. I turn in the direction of the sound, the corner of the room at the opposite end to where I am stood at the moment.
I call "hello" but there is no reply. I begin to slowly walk towards the dark corner.
"Is someone there?" I ask. The room remains silent.
It is not until I have almost run out of steps between me and the wall that I see it.
That I see HIM!!