''Are you sure about that?" My bestfriend asked for the nth time.
"Yes. This is the right time." I said while smiling.
The bitter feeling is still in me, but atleast we can have a closure. Ayaw ko ng masaktan ng paulit-ulit at umaasang may chance pa na magkabalikan kami.
It's been five months since we broke up and I can still remember how vulnerable I was back then. But now I need to be strong, hindi lang siya ang lalaki sa mundo. So why I will waste my precious time for the wrong person?
Huminga ako ng malalim pagkatapos mag paalam sa bestfriend ko.
"This is it" I told myself while walking in the nearest cafe.
Nang makapasok na ako ay siya agad ang nakita ko. Naka upo siya sa pandalawahang table habang nag babasa ng newspaper.
How I miss the feeling meeting him in our favorite cafe.
I walk slowly as I looking at him, remembering every angle of his face because I know this is the last time we can have this coffee date. How I wish we are still together, sana sabay naming matutupad ang mga pangarap namin. We are now in college and three more years we can build those plans we are planning three years ago. But I guess, those things will become a memory.
Tadhana is kinda killjoy. Yung kahit anong pilit niyong maging kayo hanggang sa huli, tadhana will find ways para sirain 'yong kayo.
That's love I guess. Kapag hindi kayo hindi talaga.
"Nandito ka na pala." Nabalik ako sa realidad ng marinig ang boses niya. He's more matured than five months ago. Siguro nag grow siya kasi wala na ako sa buhay niya, he can totally focus in his self.
Like in old times, he will pull the chair for me. Pero ngayon hindi na kaya kusa ko nang inupo ang sarili ko, then I saw his awkward smile.
You got this Dawn!
Nag uumpisa nang manikip ang dibdib ko at parang may bumabara sa lalamunan ko. I need to do this, I need to let him go.
"Should we order first?" Tanong ni Jacob ngunit hindi sakin nakatingin. Nararamdaman niya din siguro yung nararamdaman kong pilit na tinatago.
The waitress arrived in our table and smiled at us.
"Same order as always Ma'am, Sir?" Parang dito na umikot ang mundo namin sa cafe na 'to, the waitress ,I think lahat ng staff kilala na kami.
"No." Jacob answered quickly. The waitress and I got shock pero hindi ko iyon pinahalata.
"Yes, I'll order black coffee and a plain donut." Instead of our favorite mocha coffe, paired with dark chocolate.
"Cappuccino only Miss."
Umalis na ang waitress and I feel so sad knowing iniiwasan niya na ang lahat.
After seven minutes of waiting nandito na ang order namin.
As I sip the coffee the memories starting to flow in my head. Hindi man ang paborito naming kape ang iniinom namin pero nanunuot parin ang alaalang nabuo namin sa coffee shop na 'to.
"Wag na nating patagalin 'to. Bakit mo 'ko pinapunta dito?" He's starting to be cold when talking to me. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang nakakaramdam o kung ganito na talaga trato niya sakin.
"I guess we are not meant to each other--"
"That's why we broke up five months ago" He cut me off. Not the same Jacob I know letting me finish my sentence.
"Y-yeah. So now I will let you go, kahit na masakit--"
For the second time, he cut me off. "Pinapunta mo 'ko para sabihin lang yan?"
I gasped on what he said.
"You're not the same Jacob I know before."
"Beacuse the Jacob that is in front of you, is no longer loved you. So, please stop this Dawn." He start to grab his things, ready to go but before he can step I grabbed his hands.
"Listen to me, for the last time Jacob." He closed his eyes and I see his adams apple moving. When he opened his eyes he looked at me in the eyes.
"Why I need to tell you this again ha?!" His voice start to raise and ang mga staff nakatingin na samin. They never saw us like this, ngayon lang.
"It's been five months na Dawn. Five months! And I don't care anymore about us. So, Please STOP!" Tinignan ko siya sa mga mata kung noon pagmamahal ang nakikita ko, ngayon galit na.
What's wrong? Anong mali ko?
Binitawan ko ang kamay niya at tumakbo papalabas sa coffee shop. Hindi ko kayang pigilan yung sakit na dinulot niya. He's now different. Hindi na ako parte ng buhay niya.
I run fast as I could hindi alintana ang mga taong nakatingin. Hindi ko alam kung saan pupunta all I want is to run, tumakbo sa sakit na nararamdaman ko.
When suddenly I bumped in something, it hit me hard na tumilapon ako. The next thing nandilim na ang paningin ko.