"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!..." As the song droned on in the background, I couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. What was it again? this feeling, it was quite familiar honestly. Ah, yes... Despair. I was another year closer to 30 yet single with no prospects in sight.
Switching back to the present I squealed in delight. "Oh my goodness! You all remembered! Is that cake for me?! You shouldn't have..." As I gushed over the cute party favors, hugs and presents being handed to me I couldn't help but wish that they really didn't do any of this. It only rubbed in the pain and dragged the melancholy out of me.
"Well make a wish won't you Cana? Some of us have to get back to work you know." And that was 'Prunella', Sorry, Abigail. Her mouth was perpetually frozen in a disapproving pout almost like she had eaten a prune. Hence the nickname office interns had graciously bestowed upon her.
"Ah, I'll make it quick then", closing my eyes I blew on the candles and smiled brightly at the crowd in my office. "Thank you all, Thank you so much for this, it means the world to me". There was a loud round of applause, with whoops and whistles from the young interns who kept grinning at me even as the staff began to file out of my office one by one.
A few more birthday wishes and a get off work card from the HR and finally my office was empty, Eventually the only sounds I could hear were shuffling feet and muffled conversation, but soon even the stragglers left and I was left sitting alone in the silence.
I wasn't stupid, none of them had remembered. This was a perfunctory visit enforced by the HR, no one really cared about the day I was born. All they cared about was the fact that I wrote bestsellers and was one of the top writers at the publishing house.
I scrolled through my phone, no wonder I had forgotten my own birthday. No calls, no messages... Oh wait, there's an email from my bank. I snorted out an ugly laugh, pathetic.
This was the life that I lived, you wouldn't be able to tell from my social media or even the books I wrote. My life was paradise, something to be envied. It was cold and it was empty, just like I was, simply delightful.
Sitting up, I began to pack up for the day tyding my desk and turning if my computer. I picked up my bag and car keys and flipped open my mirror. Glorious brown curls, a soft face, pouty lips and bright eyes in a dark skinned face greeted me. I returned the mirror and turned to leave.
I strutted confidently through the halls and let the rhythmic click of my heels guide the slow sashay of my hips as I left the building and got to the parking lot.
Sitting in my car, I started the engine and revved it loud enough to hide the sound of my mask breaking as I let the sobs and the keening sounds rip out of me. This wasn't how it was supposed to go... I gave up everything to follow my dream.
I went home.