The first snow fell the following morning. Winter had since long made Amelia feel melancholic, yet she couldn't tear her eyes from the snowflakes that stuck to the window.
It hadn't always been this way. When she was little she'd loved the snow and the tranquil dormancy of the early winter though this sentiment seemed to have been tainted somewhere along the way.
A memory came to mind that she otherwise did fairly well to not think about. It was an especially cold night yet the white wind did not reach her in the back of the alley. Her hurting fingertips had become bright red but she did not want to go home just yet. She had to wait a little longer despite knowing somewhere in her heart that she wouldn't see William again. It was because of her.
The loss of her mother had followed soon thereafter, during the very final cold before spring. The only window in their shared room had been covered with bedding to prevent draft. Her mother's health had rapidly declined in only a matter of days and in her sick state she could nearly not be recognized as the woman she once was. Despite this she had mustered a weak smile and a reassuring goodbye when Amelias father came to take her.
Amelia only tore her eyes from the window when she heard Olivia arrive. Since she'd gone to bed straight after the tea party they hadn't been able to talk.
"I brought you your breakfast."
Olivias voice was soft and her movements careful, seemingly having picked up on the mood right away. For this reason Amelia did not see the point in putting on a display.
"Thank you, as always."
She did no longer have to ask Olivia to join her at the table. When Amelia took a seat so did she. Even though Olivia couldn't hide her curiousity and worry about the previous day she did not question Amelia.
Instead she kept the conversation light. Although nothing but commonplace chatter it somehow brought Amelia out of that unpleasant headspace.
"The tea party went well by the way" Amelia finally said when the conversation had began to die out.
"I can tell you've been wanting to ask."
"Was I really that bad at hiding it" Oliva giggled, then met Amelias eyes with a serious expression.
"I am glad to hear that, I was worried."
"I know" she smiled, still not completely rid of the sadness however thankful for the maid's concern.
"Since I did not expect to be recieved well in the first place I was positivly surprised. Even though I was not viewed favorably by most of them I think I got a foot in."
"Was that your goal with attending?"
"Not initially, but it proved useful in the end."
"Then may I ask, because you do not seem to be in the highest of spirit..." Olivias words trailed off as if she was unsure of how to continue.
"The weather brought back some difficult memories, that's all. Your company really helped though."
"If that's the case then I will continue to stay with you."
Olivia traded her regular duties by feigning fatigue and stayed cooped up in Amelias chambers nearly the entire day. By the time evening arrived they were since long both comfortably seated on the sofa, a warm cover across their laps and each an embroidery hoop in hand.
"You've gotten better."
"Do you really think so?" Amelia asked, sceptical of the maids sincerity while looking at the mediocre depiction of a wreath of daisies.
"Of course I mean it. Your stitching has become more neat and the flowers have more depht than before, see?"
A harsh wind outide sent a chilly draft through the windows, and Amelia frowned at the realisation that the snow would likely not let up any time soon.
"My sister... " Olivia suddenly said.
"She often wore the same expression that I sometimes see on you. That side of you reminds me of her, that's why I cannot help but to worry."
"When did she pass?"
"It's been about six years. She was found in the river, they said it was an accident although I never completely believed it."
Olivia lowered her head and her gaze became distant.
"Isabella was different. She had trouble understanding things and difficulties with her speach. Our parents were ashamed of her. It is not easy to admit that I was as well sometimes, but I loved her. She was truly a lovely person."
When telling of her sister Olivias eyes softened for a moment.
"Mother and father tried for a long time to find her a husband and they finally did. A widower. He seemed like a respectable man, although he was a fair bit older than her he had money and his reputation was good. I dismissed her when she cried because I thought that she simply did not understand. But thinking back, I think she was scared of him. I should have asked her the reason. She ran away a month before the wedding. I didn't see her again until the furneral."
"You believe it is your fault?"
"If I had only asked why I could've talked our parents out of the marriage. She wouldn't have had to die. Instead I persuaded her to meet with him."
"You were still only a child, were you not?"
"I was... Isabella would not want me to blame myself so I try not to, however it is difficult."
Her expression was tense and in the light of the lit fireplace her eyes glistened of surpressed tears. Amelia took her hand, not sure of what to say to bring any comfort if such a thing was even possible to do.
"It is clear that you loved you sister very much. At the time you did what you thought was best for her by following the example set by those around you. Isn't the fault with those who hurt her?"
Olivia only hummed. Amelia knew from the guilt she herself carried that a few words could not take it all away.
"I do not mean to compare you with her, truthfully the two of you are more different than you are similar. I care for you as you are not because I see my sister in you. But I still fear that her fate will become yours."
"Coming here and meeting all of you is more than I could have wished for. You have all welcomed me and recieved me with kindness, especially you Olivia. Given the option I will not leave the duchy."
"Are you saying that you will have to be driven out?" Olivia teased while wiping a tear.
"I will fight tooth and nails to stay."
Olivia paused for a moment and looked at Amelia, but suddenly laughed.
"Now wouldn't that be a sight."
***
The snow continued to fall heavier throughout the night and at times the wind became so harsh that it seemed like the manor howled along with it.
While still waiting for sleep to come late into the night Amelia made a silent wish for the snow to finally stop falling.
If she'd only known then how long it would really be.