And *click* there we go said Greg. Another month of taxes avoided! Greg Heffley was a professional tax evader and had never paid taxes in his l8fe, 9n his eyes it was day light robbery by a far left communist government to subvert the people's rights and suppress the media. This was of course absolutely fucking retarded and had no basis in favts or logic.
Going to bad he had his tax evading smile on. This would continue until midnight when he remembered he was supposed to sleep.
Waking up he looked over at his beautiful wife, Jimmy Neutron. She was so stunning people couldn't help look with concern at her when she was walking around stores. I'm sure they wished they had married her. He sat up ready to go make himself his Vegan gluten free 5g resistant carb free sugar free no added lead avocado and water smoothie. However instead of his bed made only of the finest recycled cardboard #savetherainforest he was 9n an actual mattress! Oh the horror. He couldn't think with all the poisoning he'd probably gotten from all the dairy in the bed it was unhealthy for his skin covered in only the finest essential oils from his friends ponzi scheme on facebook.
The lights flickered on as a man walked through the door by the end of the room. He was terrified! Those bulbs weren't eco friendly! How could they do something so horrific didn't you know the radition from normal bulbs causes aids?! Oh and I guess the man was kinda scary too.
"Do you know why we brought you hear today?"
"To give me aids?"
"What the fuck? No!"
"Sir I don't like the way your talking to me let me see your manager"
The end of act 1