The night shone with blistering lights of red, blue, and yellow. Each color representing nothing of importance, like the logic of this story.
Shin, an idle young master living off the scraps of his wealthy family drove angrily through the rowdy streets filled with drunks and incels. He cursed. He should've ripped off that bitch's dick!
His lover of three months went and got a sex-change! A bloody sex change! With the money he gave her!
Hot tears streaked down his face. He would've never admitted it, but he did like her a little. Okay, maybe more than a little.
He angrily turned a corner into a quiet neighborhood, his Lamborghini's bottom scratched painfully against multiple speed bumps. But his heart steeled. It was only his second favorite car after all. His real baby was still waiting for him at the repair shop.
*Beep*
A Bluetooth call came. It was from his best friend. He didn't want to talk to anyone and clicked "Accept".
"..." fuck.
"Hey, Shin?"
Shit. It was that bitch. His chest swelled up in anger.
"I'm so sorry Shin, I borrowed Jan's phone. I just wanted to come clean. I didn't get a sex change. It was just a lie! A prank!"
W-what?
"You take me for a fool!!??? I know what I touched!!!" His eyes went red.
"I-I was always a GUY!"
...
A guy? Guy... Guy...
"Wait what??? Then sex..?"
"That was my dick, you idiot!!! A toy can't fucking cum!! I admit I thought you were an idiot when you kept thinking I was a girl pegging you-"
... He remembered now. They'd always do it in a pitch-black room cause he was embarrassed about-
"Fuck!!"
His car screeched over to the side. A fucking cat ran across the road.
"Damn it!" The passenger side of the car was dented and slammed against the neighbor's fence.
"Shit. shit shit" This was a fucking shit day.
"-why would you even cry about a sex change then? You don't even use yours-" He smashed the screen on the dash, but the call kept going.
"You liked it anyways, are you just homophobic-"
He got his phone, canceled the call, and got up for some fresh air.
He walked over to assess the dent and his feelings. Fuck that bitch. His head hurts... how can she ... she... HE fuck with him like that!
Hmm? What was that?
Red blood pooled around his designer shoes. His heart sank. Cautiously he tilted his head beneath the car and...
It was a person. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
He dialed his dad's number.
"Pick up... pick up"
His dad would have a solution to this right? Right?? How did he not notice that??? Wait, is his leg severed??? Why??? Why is there a leg on the other side-
*Poof*
A bright light flashed against his eyes and he was in a white room. A big-breasted female in loose-fitting clothes floated in front of him.
"Hahaha! Now that you're dead, I could get my lover to notice me again!"
"What the f-"
A glowing white tape slapped his mouth shut.
"Ever since I sent him to be reincarnated into another world, he went and had multiple wives!!! It was fine at first, he'd always pleasure me whenever he needed my help. He even said that I was his most precious treasure!!! But that asshole hadn't called me in over a month!!! A month!! But he'd been going at it like rabbits with that new bitch Jessica! Fuck."
... 'So fucking what does that have to do with me you crazy delusional fucktar-'
"I can still hear your thoughts asshole"
...' Then the tape???'
"Aesthetics."
!!!??????
"Anyways, I'm going to punish you. You were the murderer that killed him in his first life, so if I got rid of you, he'd finally look at me again! <3"
A strand of solid light twirled around him and held him up
'..wait, but I've only killed one-.... DIDN'T HE JUST DIE?'
"Yes, but time is just a concept, you see. Oh, right, I'm gonna set up a Video Cam, so act like a tortured kidnap victim"
???
A screen appeared in the white void. On it was two naked figures going at it lustfully.
"Oh~!! Harder!! LOve...you! ah!!"
"J-Jess... I'm cumm-- ah! Anaistica! Honey, why did you call? I told you not to bother me for a month. Dear, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. You know I love you right?"
" But dear, it's urgent!! Look at who I got! <3"
The goddess and the man went back and forth, and the goddess was left with a "Just deal with him however you like. " She'd get a 'good' reward later.
"YEs! I knew that'd work!!!"
... Shin's brain fried from the stupidity of it all. Where is he? What is he doing here? Why is he alive? Just to suffer? That dude didn't even look like he cared about what happened to me, much less resent me. He just fucking said that to take the goddess off his fucking back!!!!
"Shit. You know nothing! He's the best in the world!!! Have you even SEEN his dick? No? SO shut the fuck up."
"Let's see... What's your greatest trauma~? Ah, getting fucked by a dude? Really? Plus points if you thought he was a girl? ... Urg. Fine. I'll just throw you into one of those 'degenerate' worlds then. Bye!"
'HEY!!!' He let out a muffled screech.
A black hole popped out beneath him and he fell into nothingness.
----
How Shin got together with his ex.
One day.
Shin sat alone at one of the top restaurants in the city and was bored out of his mind. He ordered the 10-course dinner set and was browsing through his phone while Jan ranted off about some chick he knows.
" So anyways, meet Jane! She's beautiful right?"
Shin looked up from his phone and was mesmerized by the beauty in front of him. She looked a little irritated and embarrassed. But Shin just felt like his heart was shot through.
He was so dazed that he didn't hear Jan and Jane whispering to each other.
"Jane, really? You couldn't pick a better name? Might as well say Jan-2! "
"Go with it. Anyways, you'll get 10k if you can trick him for the rest of the night."
"H-hi." Shin stammered. His face was in a full-on blush. He wanted to make a good first impression but was a novice in the love department.
Jan and Jane were momentarily stunned. Was this the same nonchalant dude from before!?
"Hey," Jane replied with a sweet smile. His money was in the bag.