I hear Molly's quick steps down the stairs, in a few seconds she is in front of me with her big green eyes staring at me.
—What did they want?
—Not much.
I say walking away from the door and going to my room to pick up my bag, I know it watches every movement I make, I feel her look at my back. Burning me full of curiosity.
—What is Bellinda? — tell me the truth, we never hide anything from each other.
I sigh a little irritated, I don't want to bring it up, not for now at least. But I know that she won't leave me alone until I say everything.
—When we get back from the market, I'll tell you everything, okay?
—No, because when we get there, you're going to get away from it.
I am not surprised that Molly knows me as an open book, we have been together for so many years. That it would be impossible for her not to guess what is going through my head. Just as I know what's going through hers, I sigh in defeat and sit on the bed. I give two palms on the mattress beside me, encouraging it to sit.
—Okay.
He agrees sitting next to me, I look at myself with long, tousled light hair in a bun, and I think about where to start. Since I don't know what to say, since I don't remember anything that happened. So I decide to omit this little one or I must say a great detail of the story.
—I met Lord Nahant at a party that I went to...
—With Marcy? — Question by cutting me off.
—That, and we drank more than we should and ended up sleeping together.
I speak at once, the same woman opens her big eyes in surprise, it is possible to see the alforia spread through her body.
—SEX?
Question in a changed voice, I'm sure she spoke loud enough for Mrs. Morgan, my gossipy neighbor to hear. She may be seventy-four years old but her hearing is impeccable, not even the New York Times would spread news as fast as Ms. Morgan.
—She speaks softly.
I ask by placing the index finger in front of my lips, if Molly is already like this in knowing that I slept with a stranger, imagine when I say I can be pregnant.
—Did you have sex?
He asks a second time, still unbelievable. His full lips form a perfect "O". I don't know if I should tell everything, but prolonging this story will not help.
—It is possible that I am ..."
—What are you?
—Pregnant.
Finally, I speak, it shows no reaction. He stands like a statue staring at me, I can imagine the size of his shock. Because even I don't believe in what I did, it blinks a few times and puts a hand over my mouth.
—What are you going to do now?
Question by touching my leg with the hand that was on her mouth, her expression is neutral and her look becomes serious, but understanding.
—I do not know.
I mean it. I have no idea what to do, I never imagined myself in a situation like this.
—Did he come here because of that? — this Nahant? — I shake my head in affirmation.
—But what about those two men?
—They are his lawyers, they came to accompany me to a clinic for tests, and to see if I am really pregnant.
She crosses her legs, and her mesmerizing green eyes seem distant. I hold her hand and watch her closely.
—Molly, I know what I did was wrong, but I don't want it to influence you.
—You don't worry, Bellinda, you won't. — Because I know that you are a responsible and mature woman.
You talk hugging me, I'm flattered by Molly's maturity, and for understanding me. I don't regret one day if you want to take care of her and get rid of a miserable life. I separate from her embrace and she smiles at me openly, her eyes shine and her nose is a little red.
—We are going to buy something to eat before it gets too late.
He gets up and goes to the door, I take the money and put it in my sweatpants pocket. When I get downstairs, she hands me a coat. But when I open the door I have a surprise or should I say an unexpected visit. The same is standing in front of my door holding four shopping bags in his hands, I realize that he was about to press the bell. His expression is serious, but when he sees me it softens.
—I came back to talk better, and I brought you something to eat.
His voice is cold and he maintains an upright posture, without waiting for me to say anything. The same goes for me, I look at Molly who looks at me in astonishment, certainly with the same expression as mine, of disagreement.
—Is the kitchen over here?
Asks Molly, who nods, I close the door and follow him, taking a tougher stance.
—Honestly, I don't know what we have but to talk, we've already talked about everything.
—I think not.
He talks leaving the bags on the table, without paying attention to me or even looking at me.
—Could you tell me where the kitchen utensils are?
She talks taking the shopping out of the bags, I feel my blood heats up. I wonder who he thinks he is, I know that at the moment our lives are linked, but that does not give him the right to enter my house, and invade my privacy.
—No, and the Lord is going to leave my house now!
I speak annoyed by crossing my arms, the same for what he is doing and he looks at me. His expression is serious, but his eyes are understanding.
—Bellinda, I know you are irritated by entering your house like that, but I want our relationship to be the best possible.
—nonexistent? — I ask confused.
—If you are really pregnant, I want to marry you and raise our children.
I blink my eyes a few times, and I wonder what kind of man says something so serious, of course. Getting married, having children. This is not something that happens overnight.
—You can only be kidding, don't you?
—I would never play with such a serious matter.
His voice sounds deep and his expression is not good. He lets out a brief sigh, and places his hands on the table in a sexy posture.
—I know things are going too fast, and that you're scared — But so am I. I just want to get along with you, Bellinda. And my mother would never accept that I had a child out of wedlock, she is very religious.
He says returning to his upright posture, taking some ingredients out of the plastic bags. I should have known, he just wants to get along with me to please mom. for what reason he would come here, for me that he would not be. I turn my back on him and go up the stairs, John is not at all what I thought, he is the opposite. He is nothing more than a futile and carefree man. I pass by Molly ignoring her questioning look and enter my room, closing the door immediately afterwards. I sit on the bed nervously and feel anguish in my chest, so many thoughts see through my head that I can barely digest them. Damn time when I agreed to go out with Marcy. As a snap I remember it and search for my cell phone around the room, I'm sure at least she remembers something about that night. Knocking on the door catches my eye, I know it's not Molly, because when I close myself in my room I never want to be disturbed, she knows that very well.
—Belinda, don't be upset.
John's voice sounds low but the regret in his voice is clear. This means that he knows he is wrong, well that is something already.
—Open the door please.
He asks after a few seconds of silence, but for what his voice sounds regretful, I don't want to see him. His words were harsh and unpleasant.
—I'm sorry, I didn't want it to sound that way — Open the door.
His voice is asking a little but hard, I know that a door will not protect me forever from my problems, but I am afraid to give in. Because I know that opening that door will be going against what I feel, but I have to act like a mature woman that I am. I walk to the door and unlock it, allowing it to enter the room. I go back to bed and hug a pillow, I don't dare look at him but I know he is closing the door, he lets out a little squeak when they always close it.
—I'm sorry for what I said.
—If you apologize, it won't change what you said.
My voice sounds hard and cold, I see out of the corner of his eye that he puts his hands on his waist, and looks up in a way to calm down. But soon he adopts a more relaxed posture and takes a few steps towards me, I turn my attention to the pillow, run my fingers over the donut designs. as if that is more important than what he is going to talk about.
—Don't think I'm not nervous.
—I did not think.
—Lie, I can see that it's not true — You must think that I am fine with all of this but believe me, it is not true — His voice stays but light, with every word — I just don't know how to show how scared I am — He says sitting next to me — My feelings are no different than yours. This never happened to me.
I really wonder if it really never happened, a mixture of feelings forms inside me. I don't know what to say, because his words are sincere. I put the pillow aside and face him, his expression is serious and his blue eyes capture mine, his gaze conveys certainty about his words that they are really sincere.
—You are really going to marry me, if I'm pregnant.
I ask curiously even though I smile for the first time, I notice how cute he is when he does that.
—We'll talk about it later, let's eat first.
Early on at his request, John takes my hands and we leave the room. I think that is enough, at least for now.