In an empty house sat four acquaintances clad in black and strips of white.
"Argh!" Song Tae Kyung, a senior field agent in his early 30s, slammed a glass of beer on the table, eyes red with tears.
"What the fuck is wrong with this year!?"
"Olabeoni..." the younger woman on his left sniffled before looking at him in a chiding manner. It was his younger sister, Song Ha Ha, a special agent who was a part of the previous year's recruits.
"Don't bang on the table! or else, Ha Neul-Unnie will -" she chuckled with tears streaming down her cheeks "- she'll come haunt you in your dreams for harming her furniture."
"You all are too drunk," another woman spoke, stirring her glass with a piece of straw.
"Ha Neul would send a crowd of old women with marriage prospects to him instead, she's smart like that." (๑¯ω¯๑)
Tae Kyung shivered at the thought of getting cornered by the Ahjummas. He wasn't ready for marriage, why don't people get it?!
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
"Didn't she do that once?" Ha Na giggled, wiping her tears off.
"When my brother sent her on a date with that psychopath with the pubic hair fetish."
Park Seo Min, a 25-year old officer, the youngest in the room, with soft brown hair and puppy dog eyes, choked on his drink. "What?!" (๏_๏)
"It's not the weirdest date she's been on," the older woman shrugged.
"And to each their own! That girl used to daze out and laugh in the middle of a meeting. What a weirdo."
"Says the weirdo drinking whiskey with a straw," Park Seo Min scoffed.
The woman, donning her messy perm in a tight bun, was Cha Mi Yeong, the Assistant Director of the national security organisation.
"Ya!" Assistant Director Cha pointed a straw at the handsome officer Park.
"Don't act like you have nothing to say, lover-boy."
Park Seo Min looked aside and gulped down a glass of alcohol, hoping to find an excuse for his blushing face.
ﾍ(￣▽￣*)ﾉ
"Shut up, old woman, you won't ever get a man like this."
"You little-!"
"That's enough," Tae Kyung looked at the clock before heading to the kitchen.
Placing four shot glasses on the table with a bottle of soju in hand, he spoke, "Let's take one last drink and then go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."
"Right," Mi Yeong groaned. "To enforce justice to the common-folk and protect those against the virus, it's not like we can shoot micro-organisms with guns."
"Mi Yeong-ssi."
"Okay! Okay."
Tae Kyung sighed and raised his glass.
"Let's make a toast."
"To Kim Ha Neul," Ha Na filled her glass and raised it up, "the brightest person of my life."
"To Noona," Seo Min raised his glass next to hers, "the crazy and beautiful woman who brought the fear of god in men."
"May she sow chaos wherever she goes." Mi Yeong chucked, drinking her glass in one gulp.
A somber silence commenced between the four, a form of respect for their comrade and friend.
"I'll bring out the pillows," Tae Kyung stood up again and walked out of the living room.
"Let me help, sunbae," Seo Min followed with his glass in hand.
"How did she die anyway? I forgot to ask amidst all this mess," Cha Mi Yeong whispered to Ha Na.
"Carbon monoxide poisoning," Ha Na replied with a grim look on her face.
"Was it..."
"No." Song Ha Na sighed, slowly removing the clips on her hair.
"The CCTV in her rent house showed that she got drunk and fell asleep while trying to start the grill. She must've forgotten to ventilate the rooms."
"..."
"You can say it."
"Kim Ha Neul, what the fuck!"
"The precinct was a mixture of laughter and tears after the video."
"I can only assume."
Cha Mi Yeong took another shot of soju.
"Let's pray that she becomes allergic to alcohol in her next life."
"That's actually a great idea."
"What's a great idea?" Seo Jin asked as he entered the room with blankets in his arms.
"My entire existence," Mi Yeong replied with a flare of her hand.
"Lying will give you wrinkles, Assistant Director Cha."
"You know, officer Park," Cha Mi Yeong began.
"Women want men who can actually f-"
Turning away from the bickering duo with a chuckle, Song Ha Na's eyes suddenly fell on the camera on the table beside her. She picked up the device with a curious gaze until a yawn escaped her mouth.
'I'll look at it tomorrow.'
Within a few minutes, the group of four had taken their respective places inside the room and closed their eyes to welcome a deep warm sleep.
* the next morning *
It was 5:30 am in the morning.
Song Ha Na was up and awake, making some hangover stew while her brother lied sleeping, snoring like his nose was attempting to make a fart.
Cha Mi Yeong had rolled over to the other side of the room next to Park Seo Min, her feet up near his neck and chin.
"Oh god!" Park Seo Min twisted his face in disgust at the pungent smell that invaded his nose. "Assistant Director Cha! When was the last time you washed your feet?"
"Hawewehg?" Cha Mi Yeong mumbled in a daze, wincing at the sudden rays of sunlight that fell on her face.
"Old Lady!"
"RISE AND SHINE PEOPLE!" Ha Na smiled without a hint of a hangover on her face, unlike the other three.
"Five more minutes," Tae Kyung mumbled, covering his face with a pillow.
"Morning," Cha Mi Yeong yawned, pushing her feet further against Seo Min's face.
(흫_흫)
"Old woman, you're never get married at this rate! Wash your goddamned feet!"
"..."
Σ(O_O;)
"Park Seo Min! You really don't want to live, do you?!" Cha Mi Yeong growled and rubbed her foot against his face. "Eat my skin, mother fu-"
"Hello! Ni Hao! Konichiwaaaa!" a familiar noise stopped all four people in their tracks.
"Hello, this is Kim Ha Neul on the way to discover BBQ paradiseeee," Ha Na felt her heart ache as she stared at Kim Ha Neul's excited face.
"Today I will be making some grilled vegetable skewers and soup!" Kim Ha Neul, wearing a Doraemon apron with her hair in a ponytail, smiled at the camera before continuing.
"This video is for a certain Assistant Director with the innate ability to poison people with simple eggs and salt."
Cha Mi Yeong snorted, eyes tearing up.
"That brat."
"Ha Neul Unnie made several videos for each of us," Ha Na spoke with a soft smile.
"A diet plan for Seo Min-ah. Pick-up lines-" she giggled, "-and "the recipes to a woman's heart" for brother and -" Ha Na paused, a look of shock appearing on her face.
"What else?" Tae Kyung asked, running a hand through his short hair as he stared at the wall.
"Umm... Ways to dismember the male anatomy for me..."
"..."
(°Д°)
"..."
Song Tae Kyung, "That woman will never stop being terrifying."
"It's endearing, don't you think?" Park Seo Min laughed.
"So you're into BDSM?" Mi Yeong chipped in.
"Seriously, you-"
*bleep*
"And that's it," the Morgan Freeman lookalike said, turning off the TV in his room.
The woman in the room, wearing a baggy track suit with clear frame glasses looked up from the screen and sighed in relief.
"Thank you," Kim Ha Neul replied. "I'm glad to see that they're coping well."
"Well, it has been 80 years since this was recorded."
Morgan Freeman 2.0 shrugged at her confused look. "Time works differently here. It's like the light years humans refer to."
After the drunken mistake that led to her untimely death, Kim Ha Neul had woken up in a retro apartment surrounded by trees and every type of animals she could see with her eyes, and even some she had never seen.
Morgan Freeman 2.0, or God, as he called himself, fed the baby T-Rex in his arms as he sat down and snuggled under the kotatsu.
"So, since it's your turn to reincarnate, is there anything you'd like?"
"Like, cheat skills?"
"Hmm, something like that. I saw that the isekai troupe was trending a lot so all the gods of this realm had a meeting last week and decided to put out an otherworld experience in the options. It helps with the overpopulation."
"Then, this world I'm going to, how is it?"
"It's a new world," God began to explain, "The year and everything is the same, except that the technology and knowledge is really backwards. Think Victorian era, but more Japanese and slightly modern but not the right kind."
"Um..."
"graaa," the baby dinosaur closed it's eyes as it leaned into God's arms with a full belly.
"I know it's confusing," He said with a knowing look before summoning a tiny futon for the sleepy dinosaur by his side.
"But you'll be able to handle it, after all, you'll be reborn there from scratch."
'It makes me sound like some leftover cookie.'
"Every cookie is delicious, Kim Ha Neul."
"God..."
"It's a creator thing," he explained. "Sometimes I forget about the inside voice."
As a sign of apology, a plate of cookies suddenly appeared in front of her.
Kim Ha Neul smiled as she took out a chocolate chip cookie.
"Is there anything else? what if I want to ask you some questions after I get there?"
"After you reach the new world, you'll be under the jurisdiction of the gods present there who will give you the guidance you require," God replied, cutting into a strawberry shortcake.
"And what if I want to introduce new religions, will that cause a problem? By the way, the cookies are delicious." She took out another chocolate cookie, a perfect blend of sweet cocoa that didn't get to her head.
"Thanks, and Nah," God waved a hand. "Introducing new religions would actually help a lot. Heaven here has been accepting humans since the beginning of time and well, I'm concerned that one day humans will be unable to see past the clouds, and forget that the sky is blue."
"That can happen?"
"Yeah, I mean, the flow in Heaven has slowed down a bit," He scrunched up his face, "but now Hell's the one getting crowded with those 'Karens'. My son always visits with a haggard mind. It's a bit concerning."
"Some chamomile tea might work," Ha Neul suggested.
"I'll tell him that, thank you."
Kim Ha Neul looked down with a shy smile. It felt like getting recognition from a beloved grandfather.
"Okay! My kids tell me I tend to lengthen subjects. Your skills, kiddo?"
"Oh right," she blinked, stuffing the last bit of the cookie in her mouth, "my cheats, I want an analysing skill. Like, google, but more reliable."
"I can do that," God replied after some thought. "Anything else?"
"A craftsmanship skill!" Ha Neul added excitedly. "And an inventory skill."
"Done and Done," He checked off the magical task list in the air. "Is that all?"
"Yep, thank you!" Kim Ha Neul grinned like a child waking up to Christmas.
"Your welcome!"
Both stood up from the kotatsu, their surrounding fading into white.
"Now, let's get you ready for your new life."
Kim Ha Neul closed her eyes as God placed a blessing on her soul.
"May you find the truth, the way and the light, my child," he whispered, pushing her soul into the dark abyss.
After a while, the room faded back to the retro apartment in Eden. God sighed in relief.
"I'll ask Jesus to take the night shift."
"Father," Gabriel, a tall angel that was standing silently by the corner of the room spoke up.
"You forgot about her memories."
( |¦'⊙_⊙)
"I have a good feeling about this one," God explained before handing Gabriel a plate.
"Here. Lucifer made some shakshouka for you with the new devil chillies growing in Hell."
"..."
(*´∇｀*)
"Thanks."