"I don't understand why we can't just spar with each other like usual."
"It would look bad if the girl I bring to the party is all bruised and battered."
"A few bruises are nothing."
"I suppose that's true, but for my sake, let's try to avoid them."
They sat up the practice dummy, for the more intense moves that would leave an opponent severely injured. Taking turns striking at the straw man, Zeven turned the experience into a time to show off more than destress.
Chris rolled her eyes, but she was not immune to his charisma. She watched as he swung his sword high and fast, in a move that would sever an arm from the torso at best.
Half an hour into the session, Chris took her turn. Not wanting to be outdone she finished her turn with a strike through the chest of the dummy.
With a sharp intake of breath she dropped her sword, clutching at her previously injured shoulder.
"Are you okay?"
"Just a bit sore." she winced, gritting her teeth in pain.
"Is it your shoulder?" she nodded to him as she cradled her left shoulder, "can I see?"
She didn't resist as he walked over and stood in front of her. Making eye contact he waited a moment before delicately helping her shrug her shoulder out of her shirt.
He used his fingers to prod and feel around the area of her shoulder. Tracing over the muscles, checking that it had not come out of socket again.
"It doesn't feel dislocated, but there is definitely a bit of swelling."
"Yeah, I think I just overextended it. But it's pretty sore." She tried to move it, but stopped immediately as it twinged in pain.
"If it's sore, let's call it a day. We can go in, slap some ice on it, and if you're really nice, I'll massage it for you."
"Do we have to go in? If we go back in now, Gunter will put us to work again. I need a break or my head will explode."
"I'll do anything you ask of me."
"Then let's stay out here a little while longer."
Zeven offered her a kind smile, understanding how hard she had been working the past few days, all on his behalf.
"Shall we move into the shade?"
"Good idea."
He led her to the side of the barn, plopping down in the hay before beckoning her to join him. His legs spread wide left little space for her to sit except right in front of him.
There was a look in his eyes that made her crawl onto the hay with him.
As she was getting on, her knee buckled leaving her straddling over him. Her right arm was to the side of his head braced against the wooden building.
He looked up at her, her long hair spilling out from the pale blue ribbon that held it in place. His hand reached up to tuck the free strands behind her ear. But the warmth of her skin as he brushed against her cheek mesmerized him. The hand returned the hair to its rightful position, but it did not return to his side. Instead he cupped her face.
The soft skin felt like heaven underneath his rough fingertips. And he had to wonder if her lips felt like silk as well. Like a magnet their heads pulled together, as if they had a mind of their own.
Just as their lips were about to meet, Chris let out a small cry of pain. Immediately sitting back holding on to her shoulder. Zeven shot a hand around her waist to keep her from falling backwards.
"Turn around and I'll rub it for you."
He knew it had to hurt, because she didn't put up a fight. Twisting and sitting between his legs, Zeven helped relax the muscles in her shoulder.
His hands stopped after several minutes after Chris spoke out of the blue.
"How would things have turned out if I were born a boy?"
"I'd like to think that things would have turned out the same way," he leaned forward, nuzzling his chin over her good shoulder. "I mean, what would really change? Your jaw might have been sharper, you may have been a bit taller, perhaps more muscles… "Zeven smirked to himself, " you would have made a very attractive man-"
"Please don't fantasize about a body I don't have."
"Should I fantasize about the body you do have?" He tightened his arms around her waist.
"I hate you."
"You say that, yet, I don't think you mean it."
"Fair enough, but sometimes there is very little that keeps me from kicking your ass." She leaned back into his arms slightly, her hair catching in the rim of his glasses.
"That is what I like about you," a coy smile spread across his face, a hand releasing only long enough to untangle her hair before returning. "as long as your personality stayed the same, it wouldn't matter how it was packaged."
"If I was a boy having the marriage as a backup plan wouldn't have been an option."
Zeven's smile fell, he titled his head to the side, his eyebrows drawing close in response.
"Who said that? You want to be the king, who says a boy can't be the queen."
"A boy couldn't give you children." She tried to pull away from him, but it only made him hold her with a greater fierceness.
"even if you never bore any children for me, you'd make a fine queen . I would still proudly declare my adoration for you." she pushed his hands away with a greater emotion. Leaving the warmth and security of his arms.
"Don't say that."
"Why not?" he followed her down, leaning further over the counter to prevent her from escaping his stare. "It's the truth. Honestly it may work even better that way, I'd never have to share your affection."
"You say that, but I've seen you with kids. The way your face lights up, I think that you would be sad to miss out on that chance."
"I've said before that I had no intention of having children before, do you think I only said that in jest?" His face became stern, a mask to hide behind.
"No. I think you said that out of bitterness. It's not that you don't want them, it's that you are frustrated by the injustice that you see. That is not a bad thing, but if it leads you into deluding yourself I won't sit by and watch it happen."
"Sometimes I forget that you are smart," He smiled a smug smile. Chris leaned forward and punched his arm, hard enough to let him know she wasn't playing, but soft enough that it wouldn't hurt as much as it would sting.
"You are right… I want them, but not because someone else told me I had too."
"Sometimes I forget that you are a good person."
"Do I get to hit you this time?"
"Only if you can catch me." She stood abruptly and dashed away with a laugh. If she had stayed only a moment longer, she could have heard his reply.
"I'd chase you to the ends of the earth."
And chase her he did. Catching her only when after running into the house she abruptly stopped on the second floor landing. He ran up right behind her lifting her up in the air, holding her tightly. She was stiff in his arms and as he looked past her and down the hallway, he saw why.
Gunter stood at the end of the hallway locking the door to his room. A disapproving look colored his expression.
"That does not look like a productive use of your limited time."
Zeven sat Chris back on the floor, he would admit that he had been carried away by her wild side. He kept his arms wrapped around her waist.
Another day passed, and then another, and then another, until the night before the big day arrived. Any last minute preparations had already been made and all that was left was to wait.
They both laid awake in bed, hoping that sleep would come for them soon. Zeven leaned in and brushed a stray hair out of her face. She turned to look at him, and saw him propped up on one elbow looking down at her. The tenderness in his eyes made her cheeks burn.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?"
"No, you?"
"No."
The bluntness of his answer shocked her. As she looked up at him, she could see the smile growing on his face. Rushing like a waterfall, his laughter sprung forth from the stone spilling onto her. And once he started she joined in.
Both of them sharing in a cathartic moment. Enjoying that just for a second nothing else mattered.
Chris sat up, pulling her legs close to her as she sobered up.
"We are so screwed."
"Probably. If we are going to die tomorrow wouldn't that make this the time for last minute confessions?"
He leaned in close, close enough to make out her face clearly without his glasses. But he was wearing his glasses, so there was no need to move so close to her.
"Can I confess?"
"Confess what?" barely a breath stood between them, and the hand that crossed the invisible barrier to caress her check seemed to erase it completely.
He released a held breath as he moved away from her. but not before taking the time to run his fingers through her hair, leading some of the tendrils away with his touch.
"I lost my mother when I was younger. Along with the baby she was carrying. I won't bore you with details. The truth of it is that at one point I ran away from home. I ran for what felt like forever."
His eyes focused on a spot on the wall, only straying to affirm that she was there.
"Anyways, I ended up in the middle of nowhere. By some miracle I heard the sound of a piano being played off in the distance, which led me straight to a tiny cottage. There was a woman inside on the piano bench, beautiful and lovely and all the good things in this world."
His voice grew rougher. Chris moved her hand to his thigh and without looking down at it, he took a hold of her hand.
"She wasn't married yet, I had no idea who she was. But I'm sure she knew who I was, she was just kind enough to pretend not to. A lot of things happened and I went to find her more often than I should have."
He squeezed her hand and took a deep breath.
"You don't remember this, but I have met you before. Several times actually," He let out a stiff laugh," When Aureile was pregnant with you, not to brag, but I think I was one of the first people to get to know your name."
Chris nodded solemnly, remembering the last time when he had called out her name. She fought back the burning questions inside her, it was clear than now was not the time for that."
"I saw you once, your hair was white and curled tightly against your head. You were so small. You wandered around that cottage with a look of wonder and curiosity in your eyes."
Zeven looked up at the ceiling, scrunching his nose at the sky.
"I was there when she died… I was there and I couldn't do anything. And when I heard that her only child had died too. I didn't know how to feel, it was like she was the last shred of evidence that Aureile ever existed. They announced a prince who shared her same blood, but I couldn't believe it. I was there, I knew her and there was no way that would be true. "
He opened and closed his fists, still looking away from Chris.
"I mourned for years. Not just Aureile's death, but of baby Chrysta who died alongside her. Though I guess in a way Chrysta did die."
"She is dead, but I'm here. Could that be enough?"
Chris brushed her hand against his cheek, turning his face to look at her.
"When I saw you for the first time, it was like I had seen a ghost."
With a creeping slowness, he moved closer to her. Pushing her back until there was nowhere for her to go.
"Every second I spend with you is a constant fight between wanting to pull you close and wanting to push you away, even now I'm unsure of what my answer should be."
Zeven had her pinned beneath him on the bed. The arms that held her to the bed looked like they could collapse at any moment. But unlike before, it didn't feel frightening, the scariest part was the way his voice shook.
"I loved her. I truly loved her."
"I know you did."
"I loved her, but it is different than what I feel when I look at you."
"You are not in the state to have this conversation. Why don't we get some sleep?"
"Chris… please don't hate me. Don't say it anymore. I can't lose you twice."
His arms finally gave out, and he sunk into the bed. He fell to the side, trying not to crush her.