Dinner that night wasn't grand or impressive.
It was small and homely, but sitting at the tiny table with Gunter and Zeven, Chris felt warm and full. At the castle, Chris often ate alone. Sitting at the end of a long table, she would eat only as a necessity. There was no joy in taking her meals. Unlike at this table, instead of 20 seats there were four, instead of an elaborate centerpiece there were dying flowers, and instead of isolation there were people. And whether it be due to low standards or obligations even Zeven was welcome company.
The meal finished as humble as it started. No fanfare, just mutual goodwill. Gunter chastised Zeven for several minutes. It was endearing to see the small man lecture Zeven because he looked like a mix between a puppy and child. His eyes looked down and his lip pouted out ever so slightly. On occasion he would look up to see if Gunter was still angry, only to catch his eye and go right back to the ground.
They were their own family. Parent and child. And she couldn't help but feel jealous of that, but as she kept watching her feelings dissipated. They were precious, and at least for a minute she could pretend to live in a household like this. With warmth and feeling. It was unlikely that she would ever be part of a family like this again.
"Chris!" Zeven called out to her, "help me out here!" He laughed merrily as he ducked behind her, using her as a shield from Gunter. Gunter, who looked just like a tired parent, leaned on the countertop. "If she'd going to be on anyone's side it's mine."
"Then I'm taking her hostage!" Zeven took Chris's good arm and gave it an easy tug as he smiled widely. His eyes alight, he moved his grip to her hand and started pulling her along. Soon the pair was running out of the kitchen much to Gunter's chagrin. She could still hear him calling after them as they made their way up the staircase. Ducking into the first door on the right, Zeven threw the door shut behind them before face planting into his bed.
The corners of Chris's mouth began pulling upwards, her nose scrunched, and the giggles she tried to suppress began pouring out of her like a waterfall. She leaned back into the wall as a fit of laughter took over. Devolving into snots, and then breathless cries as tears formed in her eyes.
Pretty soon Zeven found himself laughing as well. Throwing himself back on the bed, he spread his arms wide and breathed deeply and freely. Taking a minute to relax and close his eyes, he found his mind peacefully blank. A rare moment. Pivoting himself on the bed, he moved to his side and put a hand behind his head, "Ready for bed, dear?"
Chris made a sound like gargling glass. It was clear she had forgotten about that part of the deal, but Zeven had not. With a wolfish smile he patted the bed in front of him. "If you aren't tired, we can take care of that too."
"What happened to I wasn't your type?" Chris stood up and readjusted her oversized shirt. It was buttoned to the top to keep from slipping off her shoulders, but it did little to stop it from overwhelming her slender form. Her hair hung loosely over her shoulders and she reached up to move it out of the way.
"You're not, however I may overlook my rules. just this once." he paused suggestively. Reading her body language, he cut the joke short, "I can't have you ruining my sleep anymore. One doesn't get this pretty on just a few hours of beauty sleep."
"With your face looking like that, you may want to consider a coma."
"Honestly, I don't know what to do with you." he paused, squinting at her "Have you always been this funny and I've just missed it, or has my wonderful personality started to rub off on you?"
"Let's hope for Gunter's sake that isn't the case." she raised her eyebrows and shot him a sideways glance.
They were still for a moment before erupting into another fit of laughter. As the euphoria wave she was riding crashed back to earth, Chris began to find it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. Zeven took note as she began swaying on her feet. "How about we go to sleep now?"
"I'm not tired yet."
It was almost endearing watching her succumb to her fatigue. It was probably a long time since she felt so unfettered, if she ever had. He could almost imagine a tiny female Chris dancing around her room in a nightgown. Closing his eyes for a second, he could see her with her hair in braids and ribbons as she spun around. Instead of swords there were feathers in her hands. Her back was covered by a silky pink gown that billowed as she spun. On her head in the place of sorrow and strife was a crown made of flowers. And the little girl grew up into the woman as she danced. She smiled like the moon and her eyes lit like stars. She was beautiful.
Zeven opened his eyes and the vision disappeared. Chris was still there, but she was different. She had not grown up like the girl he imagined, her hands were calloused and she had many scars. This Chris was not beautiful like the other one, she was rough and unrefined. She would make a horrible princess, but as she sleepily leaned against his dresser he figured she would make an excellent queen.
"Any chance I can get you to change your mind?" She made a last attempt to get out of the deal. "Not one, now come on." He patted the bed on his right, the side closest to the window.
"If you touch me-" He cut her off "Yes, yes, you are very scary with your dislocated shoulder and oversized shirt. You are only here so that you can't wake me up in the middle of the night." She climbed into his bed. Sticking to the very edge she laid on her good shoulder, trying to get as far away from his as possible.
"I'm not responsible if you fall off the bed and hurt your other shoulder." He turned in to face her, resting his head on his propped up arm. It would be very easy to tease her more. He could move in closer to her or reach out and pull her into him, he could even insist he slept in the nude. But he did none of them. Assuring himself that if she reinjured her shoulder, their fragile relationship would also be hurt.
"Can I convince you to move in a little closer? I am worried you'll fall." Chris didn't turn to him, but she did push herself an inch closer to the middle. Zeven wanted to roll his eyes and position her himself, but he didn't. "I promise that I won't do anything. I would like to be your friend. If you come closer I'll hold you."
"Don't think of me like a woman." Her voice was dry, very different from earlier.
"I've said it before, even if I think of you as a man it wouldn't change things. Gender doesn't matter to me nearly as much as it does to you. If I looked at you like that it wouldn't matter what is between your legs."
"Is sex all you ever think of?"
"Sex is fun and my favorite form of stress relief."
"Are looks all that's important to you?"
"Yes, because then it would stray towards love and feelings. I find those tedious and naive. How about yourself, I find it hard that you would have experience in either."
She was still. He could hear her breathing in and out slowly, until she finally turned onto her back. Taking a deep breath she focused her eyes on the ceiling.
"My father has already begun to prepare for that. I believe the idea is to find a foreign princess and swear her to secrecy. The issue of heirs is already in discussion as well; the royal blood must be continued, and as I am not capable of doing such in the male's role… well… I'm sure you can figure it out from there. So no, I find it unlikely that love or feelings will play a significant role in my life."
It was Zeven's turn to be silent, not because he didn't know what to say, but that he didn't know what to say first. He started, and found that he could not finish that sentence either. Looking over at her, he saw her staring blankly. She had resigned herself to that fate already. For someone with the amount of fight she had in her, it seemed like a waste to watch her give in so easily to something she didn't want.
He brought his hand over and placed his hand on her hand. Squeezing reassuringly he tried to say all that he could not. She looked at him but didn't recoil from his touch. Her grey eyes met his brown ones. And they shared the same understanding, before Zeven rolled onto his side facing away from her.
The wind outside creaked around the window breaking up the silence with its hiss. They both laid on the bed, neither able to fall asleep. Chris stared blankly at the ceiling and Zeven focused on the door. He realized too late that this was a horrible idea, and that instead of not disturbing his sleep he just wouldn't sleep at all.
He tried to listen to her breathing, waiting for it to grow deep and slow. But it never did. It had been the better part of an hour and neither of them were even close to sleep. As used to sleepless nights as he was, this was almost torture for Zeven. It was fine when he was alone, but now that there was someone else in the room he felt pressure to fall asleep. The need to conceal his insomnia kept him from moving. He felt his hip begin to go numb, this wasn't his normal sleeping position. He prefered to be curled in tighter and curl his hands in the blanket. But until Chris fell asleep he was stuck.
Chris let out a groan as she twisted onto her good side. Her dislocated shoulder had been aching, but it had intensified as she laid down on her back.
"Are you okay?" Zeven pushed past his game of pretend sleep to make sure she was alright. "I'm fine, my shoulder just hurts." He felt guilty, the reason her shoulder was like that in the first place was because of him. Sitting up and pivoting his torso to her, he asked "Can I do anything to help?"
He heard her exhale loudly before answering. "Yes, but I don't know if it's worth it."
"If it helps, it's worth it. I can't fall asleep knowing you're here in pain."
She swallowed, "I meant worth it to me. unlike you, my pride is not endless." her shoulder throbbed angrily, making her rethink her previous statement, "Will you massage my shoulder? The muscles are stiff and it always felt better after Brennan did that." Her voice got softer when she said Brennan's name. Their relationship had been a close friendship, and Zeven felt his chest tighten at the thought.
True to his word, Zeven scooted closer to her. He propped his pillow up by her head and flipped onto his stomach. Tucking the pillow under his chest he used one of his hands to prop his head up. Giving her a warning, he put his hand on her shoulder and began to gently knead it. Mindful of the areas that would be in the most pain.
"Would you believe that I was the person who taught Brennan to do this?" Chris moved her head just enough to look back at him. Catching her eyes he gave a half smile, before looking back at her shoulder.
She began to relax as Zeven rubbed her aching shoulder and her eyelids grew heavy. Not being able to find a reason to fight it, she succumbed to sleep.
Zeven didn't notice right away when she fell asleep. He was too deep in his thoughts. His mind took him back almost twenty years, when he was still a child. He always had a knack for getting into places he shouldn't be, this trait started from a very young age. He was a small child and easily overlooked.
This dream felt different. There was no distortion to be seen. Everything was in the bright vivid colors of youth, and there she was. Just like he remembered her. Her golden hair hung down to her waist with a crown of flowers placed atop her head. He remembered her saying that it was more precious to her than any crown on metal and jewels because he had been the one to put it there. She seemed like the kind of person who deserved to wear a crown.
He understood that she could never fill the same void his mother left; the woman had a different place in his heart. When her soft and attentive eyes fell on him he found himself at peace.
Sitting in the grass the two of them played together in the dream. She sat a flower crown of his head, it fell amongst his chocolate curls looking like it had been drawn in. The young Zeven beamed, promising that he would be a king worthy of this crown and that she could be his queen, in the way that only a child can do. His cheeks were full and round. And the woman couldn't keep herself from poking at one with her finger. Laughing as he scrunched his face, she stood making it very obvious that she was pregnant.