In less than an hour I am already swearing at full force. Stones, thorns and twigs are making my steps look similar to a dancing chipmunk. Obviously, I can't go on like this, my pace is not even a tenth of what I hoped for. I find a big smooth stone and sit down on it to think. Even sitting down is an issue when you are naked in a forest, you never know what could bite you in the ass… literally. As I sit and mull over what to do, I notice a patch of plants that look familiar. Brown and tall stem, almost four-foot-tall, with dangling pods. I nudge my memory as to why the plant looks familiar and then realization hit me!
I always had weird and varied interests, so books and the internet have always been the main channels to sate my curiosity. At some point, a copy of Jean Auel's "The Clan of the Cave Bear" landed in my lap. I don't remember how exactly, I think it was a gift from a girlfriend, or perhaps she left it behind when she dropped my ass, whatever. In any case, the book was too sappy for my taste, but it intrigued me as it was placed in the period of the ice age. Out of curiosity I fired up my Google-fu and started digging around and was surprised to realize that the author had a good grasp of survival techniques. From there, I gravitated to survival sites where you could find instructions on dressing game, making shelters out of deadwood, skinning and tanning pelts, and… rope making in survival conditions, where the best material to use is considered the fiber of a poisonous plant called dogbane, the same dogbane I am staring at right now!!!
The memory has faded, but I think I remember the most important parts of the process, and if I can manage to make rope, then I can try my luck at making rope sandals. It will probably take me the rest of the day even if it works, but at this point, I don't have much options. Decision processed, I stand up and get to work.
I gather up a bunch of branches, careful to pick only the ones dark brown in color. According to what little I remember, you don't want to pick the gray ones as they are too old and the fiber is dead, which would make the rope brittle. I clean them up from pods and twigs and then split them lengthwise by pressing on them hard with my fingers. As dogbane is somewhat hollow, this is quite easy to achieve, though your fingers won't be happy with you if you keep going long enough. That part done, I snap the inner wood in inch-sized pieces, careful not to break the fibers that make up the shell, and remove it bit by bit. When I am done, I am holding two ribbons of fiber of almost the same length as the stem was, covered in a flaky dark brown outer bark. I twirl the ribbons between my thumb and forefinger, causing the outer bark to drop off the fiber, and repeat it for every inch of fiber I have gathered. It takes me almost two hours to process all the plants I have gathered and by then my fingers are numb, but I don't dare to delay, since I really don't want to be on exposed ground when night comes and God knows what comes around for a late snack.
I start stranding the fibers in a cord, by taking two bits of strands and twisting and twining them first by themselves and then by each other, splicing new strands in from time to time to lengthen the final result. While at the beginning I am very clumsy, it does not take me long to find the trick and my speed gradually improves. In an hour, all the fibers have been converted into 8-foot mini-ropes the diameter of bailing twine. I start again, this time using the twines as the strands, converting them into a bigger diameter rope, and then again, until finally, as the light starts to fade, I am the proud (and sore) owner of an 8-foot section of rope, capable of handling my weight, alongside 20-plus feet of double twine that I will use to make myself some shoes. Without wasting any more time, I gather it all in coils and wear it as you would a sash and start scrutinizing the trees, until I find one with smooth bark and a fat branch about 15 feet up. I gingerly climb until I reach it then I uncoil the rope and while holding one end I throw the other in an arc, trying to make it circle the trunk of the tree. It takes me several tries before I manage it, but finally happy with the result, I sit down on the branch with my back to the trunk and tie the ends of the rope to my waist with a sturdy yet hopefully easy-to-untie knot. This should prevent me from falling from the tree in my sleep. Temporarily safe, I start to relax. All my muscles are aching and my 'bed' is not the best in the world, but at least the smooth bark is not digging in my ass. I think back to the whole day and I can't but shake my head. I don't know what's going on or how I found myself in this situation, but unless I am completely bonkers, this is real. A million questions race through my mind, but I have no answers. The only thing I can do for now is just try to survive, I think to myself while my hands start uncoiling the twine. For now, let's make some shoes, tomorrow, I must find water.